How to pronounce "syst"

my name's Chris Anderson I'm the guy

my name's Chris Anderson I'm the guy

my name's Chris Anderson I'm the guy lucky enough to run the head

lucky enough to run the head

lucky enough to run the head organization it's a treat to be here

organization it's a treat to be here

organization it's a treat to be here with you thank you so much for taking

with you thank you so much for taking

with you thank you so much for taking time to come and be part of this this is

time to come and be part of this this is

time to come and be part of this this is new for Ted this is you know we're known

new for Ted this is you know we're known

new for Ted this is you know we're known for TED Talks

for TED Talks

for TED Talks here we're going to spend an hour in

here we're going to spend an hour in

here we're going to spend an hour in conversation with some of the world's

conversation with some of the world's

conversation with some of the world's wisest people because this is a moment

wisest people because this is a moment

wisest people because this is a moment when we need that wisdom more than ever

when we need that wisdom more than ever

when we need that wisdom more than ever though we're facing the pandemic that

though we're facing the pandemic that

though we're facing the pandemic that we've warned about you know these are

we've warned about you know these are

we've warned about you know these are extraordinary times times we'll remember

extraordinary times times we'll remember

extraordinary times times we'll remember for the rest of our lives I suspect and

for the rest of our lives I suspect and

for the rest of our lives I suspect and it's not like you know the battle is

it's not like you know the battle is

it's not like you know the battle is just the external battle the battle

just the external battle the battle

just the external battle the battle against the virus the decisions that our

against the virus the decisions that our

against the virus the decisions that our leaders make there's this other battle

leaders make there's this other battle

leaders make there's this other battle as well that is probably equally as

as well that is probably equally as

as well that is probably equally as consequential the battle that's going on

consequential the battle that's going on

consequential the battle that's going on right inside our minds I mean if you're

right inside our minds I mean if you're

right inside our minds I mean if you're anything like me you've had heard this

anything like me you've had heard this

anything like me you've had heard this real rollercoaster of emotions the last

real rollercoaster of emotions the last

real rollercoaster of emotions the last few days weeks this is scary this is

few days weeks this is scary this is

few days weeks this is scary this is different this is alarming you know we

different this is alarming you know we

different this is alarming you know we don't know what to what to make of it a

don't know what to what to make of it a

don't know what to what to make of it a lot of us and the decisions we make

lot of us and the decisions we make

lot of us and the decisions we make collectively I think is going to be

collectively I think is going to be

collectively I think is going to be hugely consequential on one scenario

hugely consequential on one scenario

hugely consequential on one scenario there's a chance that we can use this

there's a chance that we can use this

there's a chance that we can use this moment to build community to build bonds

moment to build community to build bonds

moment to build community to build bonds with each other to get to know each

with each other to get to know each

with each other to get to know each other in different ways to spend time

other in different ways to spend time

other in different ways to spend time with people we haven't spent time with

with people we haven't spent time with

with people we haven't spent time with to look for the best in each other and

to look for the best in each other and

to look for the best in each other and on another scenario our fear and anger

on another scenario our fear and anger

on another scenario our fear and anger will drive us apart I'd like to

will drive us apart I'd like to

will drive us apart I'd like to introduce the questioner in chief my

introduce the questioner in chief my

introduce the questioner in chief my wonderful colleague be Ted's current

wonderful colleague be Ted's current

wonderful colleague be Ted's current affairs curator Whitney Pennington

affairs curator Whitney Pennington

affairs curator Whitney Pennington Rodgers thanks so much Chris and hello

Rodgers thanks so much Chris and hello

Rodgers thanks so much Chris and hello to everyone joining us all around the

to everyone joining us all around the

to everyone joining us all around the world Chris we'll be back later to take

world Chris we'll be back later to take

world Chris we'll be back later to take part in this conversation he will come

part in this conversation he will come

part in this conversation he will come with some of your questions and so on to

with some of your questions and so on to

with some of your questions and so on to our guests you know as Chris mentioned

our guests you know as Chris mentioned

our guests you know as Chris mentioned there's so

there's so

there's so happening in the media so much

happening in the media so much

happening in the media so much conversation around the coronavirus and

conversation around the coronavirus and

conversation around the coronavirus and oftentimes it's focused on the things

oftentimes it's focused on the things

oftentimes it's focused on the things that our government officials are doing

that our government officials are doing

that our government officials are doing the decisions that they're making so

the decisions that they're making so

the decisions that they're making so what's happening to our lives physically

what's happening to our lives physically

what's happening to our lives physically what are some of the changes that we're

what are some of the changes that we're

what are some of the changes that we're experiencing as far as working remotely

experiencing as far as working remotely

experiencing as far as working remotely social distancing but what often is

social distancing but what often is

social distancing but what often is overlooked is the social and the

overlooked is the social and the

overlooked is the social and the emotional toll that this is all taking

emotional toll that this is all taking

emotional toll that this is all taking on of all of us which is a really

on of all of us which is a really

on of all of us which is a really critically important and a very real

critically important and a very real

critically important and a very real part of how we're all experiencing this

part of how we're all experiencing this

part of how we're all experiencing this pandemic and so we're we're really

pandemic and so we're we're really

pandemic and so we're we're really thrilled to be joined today by renowned

thrilled to be joined today by renowned

thrilled to be joined today by renowned author and harvard medical school

author and harvard medical school

author and harvard medical school psychologist susan david she gave a

psychologist susan david she gave a

psychologist susan david she gave a hugely popular TED talk about emotional

hugely popular TED talk about emotional

hugely popular TED talk about emotional courage and the impact that

courage and the impact that

courage and the impact that understanding your emotions can have on

understanding your emotions can have on

understanding your emotions can have on your lives on our lives and so we're

your lives on our lives and so we're

your lives on our lives and so we're excited to chat with her about how we

excited to chat with her about how we

excited to chat with her about how we can approach this as we're experiencing

can approach this as we're experiencing

can approach this as we're experiencing this pandemic in this moment thank you

this pandemic in this moment thank you

this pandemic in this moment thank you for inviting me to the conversation I'm

for inviting me to the conversation I'm

for inviting me to the conversation I'm delighted to be part of it I really

delighted to be part of it I really

delighted to be part of it I really appreciate it thank you so much for

appreciate it thank you so much for

appreciate it thank you so much for being here with us today so we're we're

being here with us today so we're we're

being here with us today so we're we're again excited to have you and I I guess

again excited to have you and I I guess

again excited to have you and I I guess first and foremost how are you doing how

first and foremost how are you doing how

first and foremost how are you doing how are you holding up well I think like

are you holding up well I think like

are you holding up well I think like everyone we're doing the best we can

everyone we're doing the best we can

everyone we're doing the best we can given the circumstances my husband is a

given the circumstances my husband is a

given the circumstances my husband is a physician at MGH and it's really a stark

physician at MGH and it's really a stark

physician at MGH and it's really a stark reality when one week you saying you

reality when one week you saying you

reality when one week you saying you know can you pick up groceries in the

know can you pick up groceries in the

know can you pick up groceries in the next week you exchanging emergency

next week you exchanging emergency

next week you exchanging emergency contact information if something were to

contact information if something were to

contact information if something were to go wrong so you know we're all living

go wrong so you know we're all living

go wrong so you know we're all living this reality and I think trying to find

this reality and I think trying to find

this reality and I think trying to find the inner resources to do that in the

the inner resources to do that in the

the inner resources to do that in the best way we can is just a profound

best way we can is just a profound

best way we can is just a profound importance right now but thank you yeah

importance right now but thank you yeah

importance right now but thank you yeah no definitely I'm glad to hear that

no definitely I'm glad to hear that

no definitely I'm glad to hear that you're you're managing and hanging in

you're you're managing and hanging in

you're you're managing and hanging in there your work is is so focused around

there your work is is so focused around

there your work is is so focused around how we can best prepare ourselves

how we can best prepare ourselves

how we can best prepare ourselves emotionally and psychologically for

emotionally and psychologically for

emotionally and psychologically for these moments of change and complexity

these moments of change and complexity

these moments of change and complexity and you have this really beautiful

and you have this really beautiful

and you have this really beautiful saying about life's beauty is

saying about life's beauty is

saying about life's beauty is inseparable from its fragility what does

inseparable from its fragility what does

inseparable from its fragility what does that mean and how does that apply to the

that mean and how does that apply to the

that mean and how does that apply to the the current moment we're all experienced

the current moment we're all experienced

the current moment we're all experienced well I think we all know this internally

well I think we all know this internally

well I think we all know this internally at some level that there is this complex

at some level that there is this complex

at some level that there is this complex an intimate beautiful relationship

an intimate beautiful relationship

an intimate beautiful relationship between the beauty of life and the

between the beauty of life and the

between the beauty of life and the fragility of life we love and then we

fragility of life we love and then we

fragility of life we love and then we lose we are healthy until we are ill we

lose we are healthy until we are ill we

lose we are healthy until we are ill we enjoy in which we need it until those

enjoy in which we need it until those

enjoy in which we need it until those jobs are no longer we might you know

jobs are no longer we might you know

jobs are no longer we might you know roll our eyes and yell at our kids and

roll our eyes and yell at our kids and

roll our eyes and yell at our kids and ask them to tidy their rooms and then

ask them to tidy their rooms and then

ask them to tidy their rooms and then one day there's silence where their

one day there's silence where their

one day there's silence where their child once was they're now making their

child once was they're now making their

child once was they're now making their way in the world and so there's this

way in the world and so there's this

way in the world and so there's this complex interplay between the beauty and

complex interplay between the beauty and

complex interplay between the beauty and the fragility of life that just is what

the fragility of life that just is what

the fragility of life that just is what makes the wholeness of life and it's so

makes the wholeness of life and it's so

makes the wholeness of life and it's so often in our narratives in society we

often in our narratives in society we

often in our narratives in society we talk about you know focusing on success

talk about you know focusing on success

talk about you know focusing on success and being positive all the time and

and being positive all the time and

and being positive all the time and goal-setting and you know there's this

goal-setting and you know there's this

goal-setting and you know there's this whole even even our avoidance that we

whole even even our avoidance that we

whole even even our avoidance that we have really I think at a very broad

have really I think at a very broad

have really I think at a very broad level in society our voidance of talking

level in society our voidance of talking

level in society our voidance of talking about what is the most common feature

about what is the most common feature

about what is the most common feature that all of us or common experience that

that all of us or common experience that

that all of us or common experience that all of us will go through which is to

all of us will go through which is to

all of us will go through which is to die and yet so much of our society is

die and yet so much of our society is

die and yet so much of our society is constructed around preventing avoidance

constructed around preventing avoidance

constructed around preventing avoidance denial of this reality and you know the

denial of this reality and you know the

denial of this reality and you know the circumstance that we in now is not

circumstance that we in now is not

circumstance that we in now is not something that we asked for

something that we asked for

something that we asked for but life is calling on every single one

but life is calling on every single one

but life is calling on every single one of us to move into the place of wisdom

of us to move into the place of wisdom

of us to move into the place of wisdom in ourselves beyond the thinking judgey

in ourselves beyond the thinking judgey

in ourselves beyond the thinking judgey county mind into the space of wisdom and

county mind into the space of wisdom and

county mind into the space of wisdom and and fortitude and solidarity community

and fortitude and solidarity community

and fortitude and solidarity community courage and it's a calling for all of us

courage and it's a calling for all of us

courage and it's a calling for all of us right now that I think is just so imaged

right now that I think is just so imaged

right now that I think is just so imaged in what is in our absolute and our

in what is in our absolute and our

in what is in our absolute and our reality the fragility of life right now

reality the fragility of life right now

reality the fragility of life right now thank you for that and I mean and I

thank you for that and I mean and I

thank you for that and I mean and I think that for a lot of us when we're

think that for a lot of us when we're

think that for a lot of us when we're thinking about how our lives have

thinking about how our lives have

thinking about how our lives have changed you know and we are approaching

changed you know and we are approaching

changed you know and we are approaching this idea of happiness so many of the

this idea of happiness so many of the

this idea of happiness so many of the things that at one point really did

things that at one point really did

things that at one point really did bring us a lot of joy being able to go

bring us a lot of joy being able to go

bring us a lot of joy being able to go out with friends and socialize and spend

out with friends and socialize and spend

out with friends and socialize and spend physical time with loved ones so many of

physical time with loved ones so many of

physical time with loved ones so many of those things have changed

those things have changed

those things have changed but you know I guess in

but you know I guess in

but you know I guess in moment how do you advise that we

moment how do you advise that we

moment how do you advise that we cultivate happiness and enjoy with all

cultivate happiness and enjoy with all

cultivate happiness and enjoy with all everything that's going on well so just

everything that's going on well so just

everything that's going on well so just to be clear firstly I'm not anti

to be clear firstly I'm not anti

to be clear firstly I'm not anti happiness which you'll understand why

happiness which you'll understand why

happiness which you'll understand why I'm saying this as I progressed I think

I'm saying this as I progressed I think

I'm saying this as I progressed I think though that often again we have this

though that often again we have this

though that often again we have this narrative in society that is about be

narrative in society that is about be

narrative in society that is about be happy and be positive and whilst that

happy and be positive and whilst that

happy and be positive and whilst that may sound like it's the right thing and

may sound like it's the right thing and

may sound like it's the right thing and it sounds like that is the thing that we

it sounds like that is the thing that we

it sounds like that is the thing that we should all be saying you know just keep

should all be saying you know just keep

should all be saying you know just keep positive or you know when people are

positive or you know when people are

positive or you know when people are experiencing cancer they're told to just

experiencing cancer they're told to just

experiencing cancer they're told to just be positive or when people are being

be positive or when people are being

be positive or when people are being marginalized or discriminated against

marginalized or discriminated against

marginalized or discriminated against just stop being so angry you know we

just stop being so angry you know we

just stop being so angry you know we have in our society this um almost

have in our society this um almost

have in our society this um almost judgment that happiness and joy are the

judgment that happiness and joy are the

judgment that happiness and joy are the most important emotional experiences

most important emotional experiences

most important emotional experiences that we can have and on the other hands

that we can have and on the other hands

that we can have and on the other hands are so called bad or negative emotions

are so called bad or negative emotions

are so called bad or negative emotions are frustration anxiety grief loss fear

are frustration anxiety grief loss fear

are frustration anxiety grief loss fear sadness and so what we do is we often

sadness and so what we do is we often

sadness and so what we do is we often become very comfortable with happiness

become very comfortable with happiness

become very comfortable with happiness and we become uncomfortable with those

and we become uncomfortable with those

and we become uncomfortable with those difficult emotions and we push them

difficult emotions and we push them

difficult emotions and we push them aside but I think what store often

aside but I think what store often

aside but I think what store often happens when we try to pursue some idea

happens when we try to pursue some idea

happens when we try to pursue some idea of well going out was what made me happy

of well going out was what made me happy

of well going out was what made me happy or I can't go clubbing this weekend and

or I can't go clubbing this weekend and

or I can't go clubbing this weekend and now I can't be happy is what we're doing

now I can't be happy is what we're doing

now I can't be happy is what we're doing is we're basically establishing the

is we're basically establishing the

is we're basically establishing the anchor point of happiness around

anchor point of happiness around

anchor point of happiness around expectations or goals and what we know

expectations or goals and what we know

expectations or goals and what we know actually when we look at the scientific

actually when we look at the scientific

actually when we look at the scientific literature is that when we overly

literature is that when we overly

literature is that when we overly strongly focus on happiness as a goal we

strongly focus on happiness as a goal we

strongly focus on happiness as a goal we actually become less happier over time

actually become less happier over time

actually become less happier over time and it's this really interesting paradox

and it's this really interesting paradox

and it's this really interesting paradox because that's we almost seeking

because that's we almost seeking

because that's we almost seeking something as opposed to just living our

something as opposed to just living our

something as opposed to just living our lives in a way that is I'm passionate

lives in a way that is I'm passionate

lives in a way that is I'm passionate and accepting what I would say is that

and accepting what I would say is that

and accepting what I would say is that rather than trying to find happiness I

rather than trying to find happiness I

rather than trying to find happiness I think now for all of us is actually a

think now for all of us is actually a

think now for all of us is actually a space for us to come into ourselves to

space for us to come into ourselves to

space for us to come into ourselves to come into our emotions to not try to

come into our emotions to not try to

come into our emotions to not try to brush away the grief or the loneliness

brush away the grief or the loneliness

brush away the grief or the loneliness or the anxiety but to our

or the anxiety but to our

or the anxiety but to our face into that one of those stories that

face into that one of those stories that

face into that one of those stories that I spoke about in my TED talk which has

I spoke about in my TED talk which has

I spoke about in my TED talk which has really stuck with me my whole life was

really stuck with me my whole life was

really stuck with me my whole life was when I was about five years old I became

when I was about five years old I became

when I was about five years old I became absolutely aware of the fact that I was

absolutely aware of the fact that I was

absolutely aware of the fact that I was gonna die one day and this is very

gonna die one day and this is very

gonna die one day and this is very normal around the age of five or six

normal around the age of five or six

normal around the age of five or six years old children become aware of their

years old children become aware of their

years old children become aware of their own mortality and I became aware of the

own mortality and I became aware of the

own mortality and I became aware of the fact that I was going to die and if my

fact that I was going to die and if my

fact that I was going to die and if my parents weren't going to be around

parents weren't going to be around

parents weren't going to be around forever and I would find my way into my

forever and I would find my way into my

forever and I would find my way into my parents bed at night you know squeezing

parents bed at night you know squeezing

parents bed at night you know squeezing between the two of them and I would say

between the two of them and I would say

between the two of them and I would say to my father and my mother

to my father and my mother

to my father and my mother you know promise me that you won't die I

you know promise me that you won't die I

you know promise me that you won't die I must me you won't die and I was five and

must me you won't die and I was five and

must me you won't die and I was five and I was desperate and my father was so

I was desperate and my father was so

I was desperate and my father was so profoundly beautiful in the way he told

profoundly beautiful in the way he told

profoundly beautiful in the way he told me during those nights he didn't try to

me during those nights he didn't try to

me during those nights he didn't try to build some false narrative oh just be

build some false narrative oh just be

build some false narrative oh just be positive I'm gonna be around don't worry

positive I'm gonna be around don't worry

positive I'm gonna be around don't worry about me everything's fine

about me everything's fine

about me everything's fine he didn't try to build some false

he didn't try to build some false

he didn't try to build some false narrative between me and reality what he

narrative between me and reality what he

narrative between me and reality what he said to me is dizzy it's normal to be

said to me is dizzy it's normal to be

said to me is dizzy it's normal to be scared we all die and it's normal to be

scared we all die and it's normal to be

scared we all die and it's normal to be scared and what we need to do is we need

scared and what we need to do is we need

scared and what we need to do is we need to not try to away with fear but rather

to not try to away with fear but rather

to not try to away with fear but rather to reach inside ourselves and to find

to reach inside ourselves and to find

to reach inside ourselves and to find the courage and I think there is a

the courage and I think there is a

the courage and I think there is a message for our times which is not to

message for our times which is not to

message for our times which is not to try rush aside or belittle or judge

try rush aside or belittle or judge

try rush aside or belittle or judge yourself if you experiencing difficult

yourself if you experiencing difficult

yourself if you experiencing difficult emotions this is a tough time but rather

emotions this is a tough time but rather

emotions this is a tough time but rather we can use strategies to enable us to be

we can use strategies to enable us to be

we can use strategies to enable us to be with those emotions in healthy ways

with those emotions in healthy ways

with those emotions in healthy ways which is the whole foundational

which is the whole foundational

which is the whole foundational experience of what I call emotional

experience of what I call emotional

experience of what I call emotional agility this is ultimately what will

agility this is ultimately what will

agility this is ultimately what will enable us to bring the best of ourselves

enable us to bring the best of ourselves

enable us to bring the best of ourselves forward in every aspect of how we love

forward in every aspect of how we love

forward in every aspect of how we love and how we lead in these times we parent

and how we lead in these times we parent

and how we lead in these times we parent and how we come to ourselves and I think

and how we come to ourselves and I think

and how we come to ourselves and I think that that's exactly what we'd love to

that that's exactly what we'd love to

that that's exactly what we'd love to hear more about is this emotional

hear more about is this emotional

hear more about is this emotional agility that you just referenced maybe

agility that you just referenced maybe

agility that you just referenced maybe just first start there what is the most

just first start there what is the most

just first start there what is the most agility what are the the main tenets of

agility what are the the main tenets of

agility what are the the main tenets of this philosophy well the first part of

this philosophy well the first part of

this philosophy well the first part of emotional agility which is really

emotional agility which is really

emotional agility which is really critical is moving away from I think

critical is moving away from I think

critical is moving away from I think what so many of us have I did some

what so many of us have I did some

what so many of us have I did some research where I was asking people you

research where I was asking people you

research where I was asking people you know when you have difficulty emotional

know when you have difficulty emotional

know when you have difficulty emotional experiences what do you tend to do with

experiences what do you tend to do with

experiences what do you tend to do with them and I did surveys of around 70,000

them and I did surveys of around 70,000

them and I did surveys of around 70,000 people and what I found is that a large

people and what I found is that a large

people and what I found is that a large majority of us maybe you know driven by

majority of us maybe you know driven by

majority of us maybe you know driven by this narrative of I've got to be happy

this narrative of I've got to be happy

this narrative of I've got to be happy and positive all the time

and positive all the time

and positive all the time what we tend to do when we have these

what we tend to do when we have these

what we tend to do when we have these difficult emotional experiences is we do

difficult emotional experiences is we do

difficult emotional experiences is we do we judge them we've been little then we

we judge them we've been little then we

we judge them we've been little then we push them aside or we get stuck in them

push them aside or we get stuck in them

push them aside or we get stuck in them so the language that I use is we often

so the language that I use is we often

so the language that I use is we often bottle our emotions we rationalize them

bottle our emotions we rationalize them

bottle our emotions we rationalize them and we push them aside or we brood on

and we push them aside or we brood on

and we push them aside or we brood on them and we get stuck in them and what

them and we get stuck in them and what

them and we get stuck in them and what emotional agility is and I can talk

emotional agility is and I can talk

emotional agility is and I can talk about this you know in terms of its

about this you know in terms of its

about this you know in terms of its principles but also its strategies in

principles but also its strategies in

principles but also its strategies in more detail but really what emotional

more detail but really what emotional

more detail but really what emotional agility is it's the ability to be with

agility is it's the ability to be with

agility is it's the ability to be with ourselves our full selves our full

ourselves our full selves our full

ourselves our full selves our full emotional experience in ways that are

emotional experience in ways that are

emotional experience in ways that are compassionate because the Syst of and

compassionate because the Syst of and

compassionate because the Syst of and these emotions are real so we need to be

these emotions are real so we need to be

these emotions are real so we need to be compassionate with ourselves and others

compassionate with ourselves and others

compassionate with ourselves and others we need to be curious you know what is

we need to be curious you know what is

we need to be curious you know what is my frustration telling me about what's

my frustration telling me about what's

my frustration telling me about what's important to me what is my guilt telling

important to me what is my guilt telling

important to me what is my guilt telling me when I'm interacting with my children

me when I'm interacting with my children

me when I'm interacting with my children right now what is they telling me about

right now what is they telling me about

right now what is they telling me about what's important there are so many

what's important there are so many

what's important there are so many millions of people who are jobless or

millions of people who are jobless or

millions of people who are jobless or disenfranchised or in situations of

disenfranchised or in situations of

disenfranchised or in situations of profound difficulty right now and I've

profound difficulty right now and I've

profound difficulty right now and I've got anger towards that what is my anger

got anger towards that what is my anger

got anger towards that what is my anger tell me about what I value so if we can

tell me about what I value so if we can

tell me about what I value so if we can move into a space where instead of

move into a space where instead of

move into a space where instead of pushing aside these signposts that our

pushing aside these signposts that our

pushing aside these signposts that our emotions give us and instead move into a

emotions give us and instead move into a

emotions give us and instead move into a space where we are passionate with them

space where we are passionate with them

space where we are passionate with them where we curious with them and where we

where we curious with them and where we

where we curious with them and where we start saying how can I even in the midst

start saying how can I even in the midst

start saying how can I even in the midst of fear I don't need to do away with my

of fear I don't need to do away with my

of fear I don't need to do away with my fear the fear just is it's my body it's

fear the fear just is it's my body it's

fear the fear just is it's my body it's my mind it's my emotions doing their job

my mind it's my emotions doing their job

my mind it's my emotions doing their job our emotions have evolved to help us

our emotions have evolved to help us

our emotions have evolved to help us and so when we feel fear that's our

and so when we feel fear that's our

and so when we feel fear that's our emotion trying to help us so the

emotion trying to help us so the

emotion trying to help us so the important thing here is not to do away

important thing here is not to do away

important thing here is not to do away with it but also not to get stuck in it

with it but also not to get stuck in it

with it but also not to get stuck in it so to develop a sense of what our

so to develop a sense of what our

so to develop a sense of what our courageous steps that I can take even in

courageous steps that I can take even in

courageous steps that I can take even in the midst of a reality that I didn't

the midst of a reality that I didn't

the midst of a reality that I didn't choose and that isn't of my asking how

choose and that isn't of my asking how

choose and that isn't of my asking how can I bring myself forward in a way

can I bring myself forward in a way

can I bring myself forward in a way that's courageous and connected so in

that's courageous and connected so in

that's courageous and connected so in brief emotionally is the ability to be

brief emotionally is the ability to be

brief emotionally is the ability to be with ourselves in our fullness with

with ourselves in our fullness with

with ourselves in our fullness with compassion curiosity so that we can live

compassion curiosity so that we can live

compassion curiosity so that we can live in ways that our valley is connected

in ways that our valley is connected

in ways that our valley is connected that's beautiful

that's beautiful

that's beautiful and I think that that for me that's

and I think that that for me that's

and I think that that for me that's definitely really meaningful in thinking

definitely really meaningful in thinking

definitely really meaningful in thinking about how I'm personally experiencing a

about how I'm personally experiencing a

about how I'm personally experiencing a lot of this and I imagine for a lot of

lot of this and I imagine for a lot of

lot of this and I imagine for a lot of folks and and so I'm curious then in

folks and and so I'm curious then in

folks and and so I'm curious then in thinking about emotional agility free

thinking about emotional agility free

thinking about emotional agility free you know pandemic and today what are

you know pandemic and today what are

you know pandemic and today what are some of the differences between how you

some of the differences between how you

some of the differences between how you might practice that before and how are

might practice that before and how are

might practice that before and how are you practicing that now what are some of

you practicing that now what are some of

you practicing that now what are some of the the ways practicing emotional

the the ways practicing emotional

the the ways practicing emotional agility has changed well I think the

agility has changed well I think the

agility has changed well I think the principles of emotional agility are

principles of emotional agility are

principles of emotional agility are actually fundamental principles of

actually fundamental principles of

actually fundamental principles of psychological health and wellness

psychological health and wellness

psychological health and wellness regardless of the context that we end

regardless of the context that we end

regardless of the context that we end regardless of whether we stressed in our

regardless of whether we stressed in our

regardless of whether we stressed in our job or you know struggling to be with

job or you know struggling to be with

job or you know struggling to be with our children in a way that's effective

our children in a way that's effective

our children in a way that's effective over dinnertime

over dinnertime

over dinnertime you know those must have been the

you know those must have been the

you know those must have been the day-to-day realities that we

day-to-day realities that we

day-to-day realities that we experiencing and I think that all that's

experiencing and I think that all that's

experiencing and I think that all that's really happened is the need for

really happened is the need for

really happened is the need for emotional agility becomes so much more

emotional agility becomes so much more

emotional agility becomes so much more profound and so much clearer

profound and so much clearer

profound and so much clearer we also are deciding whether we let that

we also are deciding whether we let that

we also are deciding whether we let that narrative that is coming through the

narrative that is coming through the

narrative that is coming through the media own us whether we're going to let

media own us whether we're going to let

media own us whether we're going to let our emotions earn us or whether we are

our emotions earn us or whether we are

our emotions earn us or whether we are going to exert some kind of empowerment

going to exert some kind of empowerment

going to exert some kind of empowerment and connection over these experiences

and connection over these experiences

and connection over these experiences and whether we going to earn it and you

and whether we going to earn it and you

and whether we going to earn it and you know what always just comes to mind and

know what always just comes to mind and

know what always just comes to mind and it's it's probably you know very oft

it's it's probably you know very oft

it's it's probably you know very oft used phrase but it really I think is so

used phrase but it really I think is so

used phrase but it really I think is so profoundly important right now I think

profoundly important right now I think

profoundly important right now I think as I'm speaking of that beautiful Viktor

as I'm speaking of that beautiful Viktor

as I'm speaking of that beautiful Viktor Frankl idea Viktor Frankl who

Frankl idea Viktor Frankl who

Frankl idea Viktor Frankl who survived the Nazi death camps who

survived the Nazi death camps who

survived the Nazi death camps who describes what I think is the most

describes what I think is the most

describes what I think is the most profoundly powerful human sentiment and

profoundly powerful human sentiment and

profoundly powerful human sentiment and it's this that between stimulus and

it's this that between stimulus and

it's this that between stimulus and response there is a space and in that

response there is a space and in that

response there is a space and in that space is our power to choose and it's in

space is our power to choose and it's in

space is our power to choose and it's in that choice that lies our growth and

that choice that lies our growth and

that choice that lies our growth and freedom we didn't choose these

freedom we didn't choose these

freedom we didn't choose these circumstances often what happens is we

circumstances often what happens is we

circumstances often what happens is we get hooked we get into an experience

get hooked we get into an experience

get hooked we get into an experience where there's no space between stimulus

where there's no space between stimulus

where there's no space between stimulus and response

and response

and response we either mindlessly you know go ant our

we either mindlessly you know go ant our

we either mindlessly you know go ant our Twitter feeds and we engage with the

Twitter feeds and we engage with the

Twitter feeds and we engage with the news and we catastrophize or we feelin

news and we catastrophize or we feelin

news and we catastrophize or we feelin so stressed out or we avoiding or and so

so stressed out or we avoiding or and so

so stressed out or we avoiding or and so I think this is really a time of peering

I think this is really a time of peering

I think this is really a time of peering space between stimulus and response we

space between stimulus and response we

space between stimulus and response we do that by being open to what we

do that by being open to what we

do that by being open to what we experiencing by saying what do I need to

experiencing by saying what do I need to

experiencing by saying what do I need to do here but being intentional and the

do here but being intentional and the

do here but being intentional and the particular strategies are thinking short

particular strategies are thinking short

particular strategies are thinking short answer to your question you know

answer to your question you know

answer to your question you know emotional agility are basically the

emotional agility are basically the

emotional agility are basically the skills that are foundational to wellness

skills that are foundational to wellness

skills that are foundational to wellness within ourselves to being healthy within

within ourselves to being healthy within

within ourselves to being healthy within ourselves every day what's happening in

ourselves every day what's happening in

ourselves every day what's happening in this context is we are needing to bring

this context is we are needing to bring

this context is we are needing to bring those skills with greater courage and

those skills with greater courage and

those skills with greater courage and strength to the situation that we face

strength to the situation that we face

strength to the situation that we face I'm curious to I guess and if we can

I'm curious to I guess and if we can

I'm curious to I guess and if we can look at some specific issues that people

look at some specific issues that people

look at some specific issues that people might be experiencing I think one of the

might be experiencing I think one of the

might be experiencing I think one of the big ones with social distancing is that

big ones with social distancing is that

big ones with social distancing is that a lot of folks who at one point you know

a lot of folks who at one point you know

a lot of folks who at one point you know went to an office are now working at

went to an office are now working at

went to an office are now working at home they're working at home get

home they're working at home get

home they're working at home get sleeping at home relaxing at home and so

sleeping at home relaxing at home and so

sleeping at home relaxing at home and so maybe in talking about that specifically

maybe in talking about that specifically

maybe in talking about that specifically for some of the ways this might impact

for some of the ways this might impact

for some of the ways this might impact us and then what are some areas that you

us and then what are some areas that you

us and then what are some areas that you think you can apply from emotional

think you can apply from emotional

think you can apply from emotional agility to young to this new this new

agility to young to this new this new

agility to young to this new this new normal yeah so and very important point

normal yeah so and very important point

normal yeah so and very important point is I think you know when I talk about

is I think you know when I talk about

is I think you know when I talk about having more space to have these

having more space to have these

having more space to have these experiences of course that doesn't mean

experiences of course that doesn't mean

experiences of course that doesn't mean we are always alone we might be as I am

we are always alone we might be as I am

we are always alone we might be as I am I've got two young children who are now

I've got two young children who are now

I've got two young children who are now home from school and I'm trying to do my

home from school and I'm trying to do my

home from school and I'm trying to do my work and I'm trying to look after them

work and I'm trying to look after them

work and I'm trying to look after them and there's a lot that's going on but we

and there's a lot that's going on but we

and there's a lot that's going on but we on spending hours commuting you know

on spending hours commuting you know

on spending hours commuting you know most most of us we on spending hour

most most of us we on spending hour

most most of us we on spending hour distracting or avoiding outside of the

distracting or avoiding outside of the

distracting or avoiding outside of the house so we're really starting to think

house so we're really starting to think

house so we're really starting to think about how they're using what I've got in

about how they're using what I've got in

about how they're using what I've got in the space in this context right now

the space in this context right now

the space in this context right now don't you know one of the things that I

don't you know one of the things that I

don't you know one of the things that I think is really profoundly important is

think is really profoundly important is

think is really profoundly important is when we think about social distancing I

when we think about social distancing I

when we think about social distancing I think a better way for us to all be

think a better way for us to all be

think a better way for us to all be thinking about this originally the media

thinking about this originally the media

thinking about this originally the media had used this language of social

had used this language of social

had used this language of social distancing but actually what we're

distancing but actually what we're

distancing but actually what we're thinking about here is physical

thinking about here is physical

thinking about here is physical distancing physical distancing we can

distancing physical distancing we can

distancing physical distancing we can still if we are social creatures which

still if we are social creatures which

still if we are social creatures which many of us are we still need to be able

many of us are we still need to be able

many of us are we still need to be able to look for meaningful quality

to look for meaningful quality

to look for meaningful quality interactions that are really critically

interactions that are really critically

interactions that are really critically important to us right now

important to us right now

important to us right now so we know that we can be lonely in a

so we know that we can be lonely in a

so we know that we can be lonely in a crowd you know we don't we don't we

crowd you know we don't we don't we

crowd you know we don't we don't we don't need when we think about

don't need when we think about

don't need when we think about loneliness loneliness is not just oh I'm

loneliness loneliness is not just oh I'm

loneliness loneliness is not just oh I'm by myself therefore I'm lonely you can

by myself therefore I'm lonely you can

by myself therefore I'm lonely you can be in a crowd of people and be lonely so

be in a crowd of people and be lonely so

be in a crowd of people and be lonely so what is it that we think about when we

what is it that we think about when we

what is it that we think about when we think about how do you mitigate against

think about how do you mitigate against

think about how do you mitigate against or how do you ameliorate learning us

or how do you ameliorate learning us

or how do you ameliorate learning us learning this is actually a function of

learning this is actually a function of

learning this is actually a function of whether our our interactions are

whether our our interactions are

whether our our interactions are meaningful or not so again this idea

meaningful or not so again this idea

meaningful or not so again this idea that emotions tell us a story behind our

that emotions tell us a story behind our

that emotions tell us a story behind our most difficult emotions are signposts to

most difficult emotions are signposts to

most difficult emotions are signposts to the things that we care about if you

the things that we care about if you

the things that we care about if you find yourself feeling lonely as an

find yourself feeling lonely as an

find yourself feeling lonely as an example what is that loneliness the

example what is that loneliness the

example what is that loneliness the signpost of the loneliness is often the

signpost of the loneliness is often the

signpost of the loneliness is often the signpost that you value presence and

signpost that you value presence and

signpost that you value presence and connectedness and that you don't have

connectedness and that you don't have

connectedness and that you don't have enough of it now so that loneliness is

enough of it now so that loneliness is

enough of it now so that loneliness is telling you that there's something that

telling you that there's something that

telling you that there's something that you value that you need to be moving

you value that you need to be moving

you value that you need to be moving more in the direction of and so you can

more in the direction of and so you can

more in the direction of and so you can start asking yourself what are some

start asking yourself what are some

start asking yourself what are some small changes that I can make that are

small changes that I can make that are

small changes that I can make that are really important to me right now in this

really important to me right now in this

really important to me right now in this context of loneliness are there people

context of loneliness are there people

context of loneliness are there people that I'm reaching out to that I maybe

that I'm reaching out to that I maybe

that I'm reaching out to that I maybe haven't spoken to for a few years is

haven't spoken to for a few years is

haven't spoken to for a few years is there a way that I you know I have this

there a way that I you know I have this

there a way that I you know I have this really remarkable experience sometimes

really remarkable experience sometimes

really remarkable experience sometimes where I feel like even when we speaking

where I feel like even when we speaking

where I feel like even when we speaking to someone we speaking beyond the person

to someone we speaking beyond the person

to someone we speaking beyond the person um there's something beautiful that I do

um there's something beautiful that I do

um there's something beautiful that I do in one of my exercises that I've

in one of my exercises that I've

in one of my exercises that I've actually done in some TED workshops

actually done in some TED workshops

actually done in some TED workshops before where I asked people just to

before where I asked people just to

before where I asked people just to silently look at another person there's

silently look at another person there's

silently look at another person there's this beautiful phrase in South Africa

this beautiful phrase in South Africa

this beautiful phrase in South Africa summer bonnets are greeting that were

summer bonnets are greeting that were

summer bonnets are greeting that were born amines I see you and by seeing you

born amines I see you and by seeing you

born amines I see you and by seeing you I bring you into being and in the

I bring you into being and in the

I bring you into being and in the workshops sometimes what I do is I'll

workshops sometimes what I do is I'll

workshops sometimes what I do is I'll stop people and I cue them and I say

stop people and I cue them and I say

stop people and I cue them and I say Sabha Boehner and all I'm doing is I'm

Sabha Boehner and all I'm doing is I'm

Sabha Boehner and all I'm doing is I'm asking people to look beyond the eyes to

asking people to look beyond the eyes to

asking people to look beyond the eyes to look into the soul and the love and the

look into the soul and the love and the

look into the soul and the love and the light and the hurt in the person that's

light and the hurt in the person that's

light and the hurt in the person that's in front of you and I've been doing that

in front of you and I've been doing that

in front of you and I've been doing that with my children you know they don't

with my children you know they don't

with my children you know they don't necessarily love it but instead of doing

necessarily love it but instead of doing

necessarily love it but instead of doing the quick hug when they at the computer

the quick hug when they at the computer

the quick hug when they at the computer trying to do their learning each day I'm

trying to do their learning each day I'm

trying to do their learning each day I'm starting to say to them you know let's

starting to say to them you know let's

starting to say to them you know let's just look at each other

just look at each other

just look at each other it's just connect with each other let's

it's just connect with each other let's

it's just connect with each other let's be the person behind the person so I

be the person behind the person so I

be the person behind the person so I think that there ways that we can

think that there ways that we can

think that there ways that we can whether it's an online meeting with our

whether it's an online meeting with our

whether it's an online meeting with our colleagues or phoning someone that we

colleagues or phoning someone that we

colleagues or phoning someone that we care about or even how we look at a

care about or even how we look at a

care about or even how we look at a person there is meaning that brings us

person there is meaning that brings us

person there is meaning that brings us out of loneliness and meaning that

out of loneliness and meaning that

out of loneliness and meaning that brings us out of social isolation in

brings us out of social isolation in

brings us out of social isolation in ways that are really profound and

ways that are really profound and

ways that are really profound and beautiful I just wanted to nip in with a

beautiful I just wanted to nip in with a

beautiful I just wanted to nip in with a couple of questions from the where out

couple of questions from the where out

couple of questions from the where out of people who were watching so I'm

of people who were watching so I'm

of people who were watching so I'm thinking especially I think some people

thinking especially I think some people

thinking especially I think some people watching you know literally in a

watching you know literally in a

watching you know literally in a situation now where they they have spent

situation now where they they have spent

situation now where they they have spent days alone and it's a fearful it's a

days alone and it's a fearful it's a

days alone and it's a fearful it's a fearful time and so one question is you

fearful time and so one question is you

fearful time and so one question is you know what do you mean when you say reach

know what do you mean when you say reach

know what do you mean when you say reach inside of us to find courage how do you

inside of us to find courage how do you

inside of us to find courage how do you actually do that well firstly what we

actually do that well firstly what we

actually do that well firstly what we know is the way fear operates so when

know is the way fear operates so when

know is the way fear operates so when people are feeling fearful or when the

people are feeling fearful or when the

people are feeling fearful or when the situation is ambiguous as it as it is

situation is ambiguous as it as it is

situation is ambiguous as it as it is right now

right now

right now usually what we try to do and this is

usually what we try to do and this is

usually what we try to do and this is literally a cognitive reality for us is

literally a cognitive reality for us is

literally a cognitive reality for us is that our mind tries to fill in the

that our mind tries to fill in the

that our mind tries to fill in the blanks so we don't know the answers and

blanks so we don't know the answers and

blanks so we don't know the answers and we

we

we try to fill in the blank so we mat

try to fill in the blank so we mat

try to fill in the blank so we mat catastrophize or we might you know

catastrophize or we might you know

catastrophize or we might you know develop huge amounts of anxiety or we go

develop huge amounts of anxiety or we go

develop huge amounts of anxiety or we go to our Twitter feed in search of the

to our Twitter feed in search of the

to our Twitter feed in search of the answers and often what that does is it

answers and often what that does is it

answers and often what that does is it actually provokes the very opposite of

actually provokes the very opposite of

actually provokes the very opposite of what we need what that provokes is it

what we need what that provokes is it

what we need what that provokes is it often provokes more anxiety more fear

often provokes more anxiety more fear

often provokes more anxiety more fear and more you know we talk about viruses

and more you know we talk about viruses

and more you know we talk about viruses and we talk about physical contagion um

and we talk about physical contagion um

and we talk about physical contagion um but we also know that people can

but we also know that people can

but we also know that people can experience very real levels of emotional

experience very real levels of emotional

experience very real levels of emotional contagion emotional contagion is when

contagion emotional contagion is when

contagion emotional contagion is when you in subtle ways pick up on the

you in subtle ways pick up on the

you in subtle ways pick up on the emotions of other people because as

emotions of other people because as

emotions of other people because as human beings again we've evolved to pick

human beings again we've evolved to pick

human beings again we've evolved to pick up on these cues and so I think you know

up on these cues and so I think you know

up on these cues and so I think you know when I'm saying reach inside of yourself

when I'm saying reach inside of yourself

when I'm saying reach inside of yourself when we think about intentionality

when we think about intentionality

when we think about intentionality intentionality is this idea that rather

intentionality is this idea that rather

intentionality is this idea that rather than being mindlessly sucked into our

than being mindlessly sucked into our

than being mindlessly sucked into our experience which I have been - you know

experience which I have been - you know

experience which I have been - you know this is this is a common common human

this is this is a common common human

this is this is a common common human experience we get sucked into our news

experience we get sucked into our news

experience we get sucked into our news feeds

feeds

feeds instead we're starting to ask ourselves

instead we're starting to ask ourselves

instead we're starting to ask ourselves questions of is this helping me and is

questions of is this helping me and is

questions of is this helping me and is this some alternative way that I can be

this some alternative way that I can be

this some alternative way that I can be engaging so I've had lots of people

engaging so I've had lots of people

engaging so I've had lots of people contact me recently just saying things

contact me recently just saying things

contact me recently just saying things that you know I I've just taken such joy

that you know I I've just taken such joy

that you know I I've just taken such joy in creating a little garden for myself I

in creating a little garden for myself I

in creating a little garden for myself I have gotten a list of books that I

have gotten a list of books that I

have gotten a list of books that I really wanted to read and I haven't I've

really wanted to read and I haven't I've

really wanted to read and I haven't I've reached out a friend who I haven't

reached out a friend who I haven't

reached out a friend who I haven't spoken to for years and where we had

spoken to for years and where we had

spoken to for years and where we had some silly argument about something and

some silly argument about something and

some silly argument about something and we can't even remember what that

we can't even remember what that

we can't even remember what that argument was but I now know that whether

argument was but I now know that whether

argument was but I now know that whether I'm right or wrong doesn't matter more

I'm right or wrong doesn't matter more

I'm right or wrong doesn't matter more than a more important question which is

than a more important question which is

than a more important question which is is my actions serving me is it serving

is my actions serving me is it serving

is my actions serving me is it serving the person the loved one that the human

the person the loved one that the human

the person the loved one that the human being that I must want to be so if we

being that I must want to be so if we

being that I must want to be so if we can start reaching inside ourselves and

can start reaching inside ourselves and

can start reaching inside ourselves and saying you know what are ways that I can

saying you know what are ways that I can

saying you know what are ways that I can if I'm lonely how can I contribute how

if I'm lonely how can I contribute how

if I'm lonely how can I contribute how can i connect what are ways that I can

can i connect what are ways that I can

can i connect what are ways that I can come to my experience though that it's

come to my experience though that it's

come to my experience though that it's intentional and its values connected and

intentional and its values connected and

intentional and its values connected and also if you feel

also if you feel

also if you feel and so many of us are also be

and so many of us are also be

and so many of us are also be compassionate with that this this is

compassionate with that this this is

compassionate with that this this is tough we often live our lives as if we

tough we often live our lives as if we

tough we often live our lives as if we in a never-ending Ironman or an woman

in a never-ending Ironman or an woman

in a never-ending Ironman or an woman competition you know where we've got to

competition you know where we've got to

competition you know where we've got to have goals and be healthy and be fit and

have goals and be healthy and be fit and

have goals and be healthy and be fit and be there all these things that we feel

be there all these things that we feel

be there all these things that we feel we've got to do every single day we've

we've got to do every single day we've

we've got to do every single day we've got to be the best leaders we've got to

got to be the best leaders we've got to

got to be the best leaders we've got to be I think just you know breathing into

be I think just you know breathing into

be I think just you know breathing into the experience is really important there

the experience is really important there

the experience is really important there are other practical things that we can

are other practical things that we can

are other practical things that we can do in relation to this experience as

do in relation to this experience as

do in relation to this experience as well and often we use this language we

well and often we use this language we

well and often we use this language we say I am lonely I am sad I am angry and

say I am lonely I am sad I am angry and

say I am lonely I am sad I am angry and it's a normal default way that we

it's a normal default way that we

it's a normal default way that we describe how we feeling but if we think

describe how we feeling but if we think

describe how we feeling but if we think about the language of that what we doing

about the language of that what we doing

about the language of that what we doing is we are saying I am all of me 100% of

is we are saying I am all of me 100% of

is we are saying I am all of me 100% of me is the singular experience I am sad

me is the singular experience I am sad

me is the singular experience I am sad but what are you starting to do when you

but what are you starting to do when you

but what are you starting to do when you use that language is we do it

use that language is we do it

use that language is we do it unintentionally but what we started to

unintentionally but what we started to

unintentionally but what we started to do is we starting to define ourselves by

do is we starting to define ourselves by

do is we starting to define ourselves by our emotion we are not our emotion we

our emotion we are not our emotion we

our emotion we are not our emotion we own our emotions they don't own and

own our emotions they don't own and

own our emotions they don't own and define us what we want to do is we want

define us what we want to do is we want

define us what we want to do is we want to show up to our emotions with

to show up to our emotions with

to show up to our emotions with compassion and curiosity but we also

compassion and curiosity but we also

compassion and curiosity but we also don't want to get stuck in our emotions

don't want to get stuck in our emotions

don't want to get stuck in our emotions though simple strategies that can be

though simple strategies that can be

though simple strategies that can be really helpful to people is instead of

really helpful to people is instead of

really helpful to people is instead of saying I am sad label your thoughts your

saying I am sad label your thoughts your

saying I am sad label your thoughts your emotions or your feelings for what they

emotions or your feelings for what they

emotions or your feelings for what they are they are not back there are thoughts

are they are not back there are thoughts

are they are not back there are thoughts there are emotions their feelings so you

there are emotions their feelings so you

there are emotions their feelings so you might say something like I'm noticing

might say something like I'm noticing

might say something like I'm noticing the feeling that I'm said I'm noticing

the feeling that I'm said I'm noticing

the feeling that I'm said I'm noticing the urge to shut down the conversation

the urge to shut down the conversation

the urge to shut down the conversation with my spouse or I'm noticing the urge

with my spouse or I'm noticing the urge

with my spouse or I'm noticing the urge to keep going on my social media feed

to keep going on my social media feed

to keep going on my social media feed right now

right now

right now I'm noticing the thought that things are

I'm noticing the thought that things are

I'm noticing the thought that things are never gonna get any better

never gonna get any better

never gonna get any better what you start doing when you this is a

what you start doing when you this is a

what you start doing when you this is a mindfulness technique but what you're

mindfulness technique but what you're

mindfulness technique but what you're really doing is you are labeling your

really doing is you are labeling your

really doing is you are labeling your thoughts your emotions your feelings as

thoughts your emotions your feelings as

thoughts your emotions your feelings as thoughts emotions feelings and when you

thoughts emotions feelings and when you

thoughts emotions feelings and when you do this what you start doing is you

do this what you start doing is you

do this what you start doing is you create that space that I spoke about

create that space that I spoke about

create that space that I spoke about between stimulus and response no longer

between stimulus and response no longer

between stimulus and response no longer are you defined if you are now able to

are you defined if you are now able to

are you defined if you are now able to see them for what they are and then you

see them for what they are and then you

see them for what they are and then you can start saying I'm noticing that I'm

can start saying I'm noticing that I'm

can start saying I'm noticing that I'm feeling sad what is that telling me

feeling sad what is that telling me

feeling sad what is that telling me about what I care about and how can I

about what I care about and how can I

about what I care about and how can I bring more of the thing into my life and

bring more of the thing into my life and

bring more of the thing into my life and it's going to be different for different

it's going to be different for different

it's going to be different for different people are you mentioned there about

people are you mentioned there about

people are you mentioned there about contribution and about compassion I

contribution and about compassion I

contribution and about compassion I wonder is it the case the two things

wonder is it the case the two things

wonder is it the case the two things first of all how can people help like

first of all how can people help like

first of all how can people help like practically how can they help others

practically how can they help others

practically how can they help others when we're all in this isolated world

when we're all in this isolated world

when we're all in this isolated world right now but secondly can that can that

right now but secondly can that can that

right now but secondly can that can that process itself actually help people that

process itself actually help people that

process itself actually help people that shifting from feeling the pain to act to

shifting from feeling the pain to act to

shifting from feeling the pain to act to the sort of the agency and they're

the sort of the agency and they're

the sort of the agency and they're reaching out and try to do something for

reaching out and try to do something for

reaching out and try to do something for data can that make a difference yes it's

data can that make a difference yes it's

data can that make a difference yes it's such an important question it's this

such an important question it's this

such an important question it's this thing of sama buona ICU but in seeing

thing of sama buona ICU but in seeing

thing of sama buona ICU but in seeing myself I'm able to see others to this

myself I'm able to see others to this

myself I'm able to see others to this profoundly important way of seeing

profoundly important way of seeing

profoundly important way of seeing others and yes you know finding ways

others and yes you know finding ways

others and yes you know finding ways that you can contribute there are so

that you can contribute there are so

that you can contribute there are so many people in pain right now there are

many people in pain right now there are

many people in pain right now there are people who are in their houses who

people who are in their houses who

people who are in their houses who haven't spoken to another soul for days

haven't spoken to another soul for days

haven't spoken to another soul for days there are people who need help with

there are people who need help with

there are people who need help with essential groceries and services they

essential groceries and services they

essential groceries and services they are chuk keepers who are struggling and

are chuk keepers who are struggling and

are chuk keepers who are struggling and so within our community instead of

so within our community instead of

so within our community instead of spending our time you know trying to get

spending our time you know trying to get

spending our time you know trying to get stucked or or trying to stop ourselves

stucked or or trying to stop ourselves

stucked or or trying to stop ourselves even from being in the sabor ticks which

even from being in the sabor ticks which

even from being in the sabor ticks which I think the so many of us is that

I think the so many of us is that

I think the so many of us is that experience is really thinking about what

experience is really thinking about what

experience is really thinking about what are practical ways that we can do it and

are practical ways that we can do it and

are practical ways that we can do it and what is what's what's so true for us as

what is what's what's so true for us as

what is what's what's so true for us as human beings is we often think that in

human beings is we often think that in

human beings is we often think that in order to make a contribution we've got

order to make a contribution we've got

order to make a contribution we've got to do something huge

to do something huge

to do something huge it's got to be grand it's got to be

it's got to be grand it's got to be

it's got to be grand it's got to be massive scale but you know if we think

massive scale but you know if we think

massive scale but you know if we think about the need to belong every single

about the need to belong every single

about the need to belong every single one of us needs to belong and we know

one of us needs to belong and we know

one of us needs to belong and we know that we can have one other person's pain

that we can have one other person's pain

that we can have one other person's pain just by being that persons person today

just by being that persons person today

just by being that persons person today that might just be a phone call but if

that might just be a phone call but if

that might just be a phone call but if we can reach beyond ourselves that's

we can reach beyond ourselves that's

we can reach beyond ourselves that's healing for others and it's healing for

healing for others and it's healing for

healing for others and it's healing for ourselves as well and so this is often

ourselves as well and so this is often

ourselves as well and so this is often not about these big things it's often

not about these big things it's often

not about these big things it's often about what I call tiny tweaks more

about what I call tiny tweaks more

about what I call tiny tweaks more values connected actions that we can

values connected actions that we can

values connected actions that we can take that are committed and and even you

take that are committed and and even you

take that are committed and and even you know being at home being physically

know being at home being physically

know being at home being physically distant there's this courage

distant there's this courage

distant there's this courage there's courage in doing that I mean

there's courage in doing that I mean

there's courage in doing that I mean we're doing it because we know that it's

we're doing it because we know that it's

we're doing it because we know that it's the right thing but there's also courage

the right thing but there's also courage

the right thing but there's also courage in looking inside of ourselves and and

in looking inside of ourselves and and

in looking inside of ourselves and and and owning that you're doing that not

and owning that you're doing that not

and owning that you're doing that not only because you have to but because

only because you have to but because

only because you have to but because that is something that is profoundly

that is something that is profoundly

that is something that is profoundly important that you care about others and

important that you care about others and

important that you care about others and I think actually this is also a

I think actually this is also a

I think actually this is also a conversation to be having with children

conversation to be having with children

conversation to be having with children right now you know I think you know

right now you know I think you know

right now you know I think you know often what happens with our kids is we

often what happens with our kids is we

often what happens with our kids is we say well these are the rules

say well these are the rules

say well these are the rules you know this is what we've got to do

you know this is what we've got to do

you know this is what we've got to do now but what are we doing we're really

now but what are we doing we're really

now but what are we doing we're really trying to help our children develop

trying to help our children develop

trying to help our children develop their own sense of values and character

their own sense of values and character

their own sense of values and character and so we can start doing this by

and so we can start doing this by

and so we can start doing this by showing up to our children's emotions

showing up to our children's emotions

showing up to our children's emotions how are you feeling instead of kind of

how are you feeling instead of kind of

how are you feeling instead of kind of you know say everything's going to be a

you know say everything's going to be a

you know say everything's going to be a cage I worry about it and try brush over

cage I worry about it and try brush over

cage I worry about it and try brush over it our children are feeling what they're

it our children are feeling what they're

it our children are feeling what they're feeling if we can shut those feelings

feeling if we can shut those feelings

feeling if we can shut those feelings with compassion but then also ask our

with compassion but then also ask our

with compassion but then also ask our children you know what are ways that you

children you know what are ways that you

children you know what are ways that you think you can bring yourself to your

think you can bring yourself to your

think you can bring yourself to your friends

friends

friends what are your connections or how always

what are your connections or how always

what are your connections or how always that you are living right now connected

that you are living right now connected

that you are living right now connected with who you want to be as a person

with who you want to be as a person

with who you want to be as a person these are incredible times for us we

these are incredible times for us we

these are incredible times for us we didn't ask for them but we are

didn't ask for them but we are

didn't ask for them but we are developing our resilience and our

developing our resilience and our

developing our resilience and our character and the character of those

character and the character of those

character and the character of those around us without a doubt so your last

around us without a doubt so your last

around us without a doubt so your last comment about children and how you can

comment about children and how you can

comment about children and how you can really have conversations with them

really have conversations with them

really have conversations with them about what's going on you know a lot of

about what's going on you know a lot of

about what's going on you know a lot of them may be experiencing some of the

them may be experiencing some of the

them may be experiencing some of the same emotions that that we're all

same emotions that that we're all

same emotions that that we're all experiencing but maybe with a little

experiencing but maybe with a little

experiencing but maybe with a little more confusion because they have less

more confusion because they have less

more confusion because they have less life experience and so how can we talk

life experience and so how can we talk

life experience and so how can we talk to children if you're if there are

to children if you're if there are

to children if you're if there are parents out there about what's going

parents out there about what's going

parents out there about what's going out there and how they can deal with

out there and how they can deal with

out there and how they can deal with their emotions the most important thing

their emotions the most important thing

their emotions the most important thing we know you know spoke about instead of

we know you know spoke about instead of

we know you know spoke about instead of saying I am said you noticing that you

saying I am said you noticing that you

saying I am said you noticing that you feeling said another very very important

feeling said another very very important

feeling said another very very important part of being effective with our

part of being effective with our

part of being effective with our emotions is being granular with our

emotions is being granular with our

emotions is being granular with our emotions and what I mean when I say

emotions and what I mean when I say

emotions and what I mean when I say being granule is often we use very big

being granule is often we use very big

being granule is often we use very big labels to describe my emotions you know

labels to describe my emotions you know

labels to describe my emotions you know people might say I'm stressed dressed

people might say I'm stressed dressed

people might say I'm stressed dressed I'm stressed that's the most common one

I'm stressed that's the most common one

I'm stressed that's the most common one that I hear um you know in in my work

that I hear um you know in in my work

that I hear um you know in in my work and the work that I'm doing in

and the work that I'm doing in

and the work that I'm doing in organizations very often people sound

organizations very often people sound

organizations very often people sound stressed but there's a world of

stressed but there's a world of

stressed but there's a world of difference between stress and

difference between stress and

difference between stress and disappointment or stress and overwhelm

disappointment or stress and overwhelm

disappointment or stress and overwhelm or stress and yeah and what we know

or stress and yeah and what we know

or stress and yeah and what we know psychologically is when we label our

psychologically is when we label our

psychologically is when we label our emotions in a more granular way when we

emotions in a more granular way when we

emotions in a more granular way when we move beyond the I am stressed into what

move beyond the I am stressed into what

move beyond the I am stressed into what is this emotion really then what it does

is this emotion really then what it does

is this emotion really then what it does is it helps us again move into that

is it helps us again move into that

is it helps us again move into that space of ourselves and it doesn't think

space of ourselves and it doesn't think

space of ourselves and it doesn't think really powerful in our brains that

really powerful in our brains that

really powerful in our brains that starts helping us to understand what is

starts helping us to understand what is

starts helping us to understand what is the cause of the emotion and what is the

the cause of the emotion and what is the

the cause of the emotion and what is the pathway forward so we're now moving

pathway forward so we're now moving

pathway forward so we're now moving beyond this are it all feels stress into

beyond this are it all feels stress into

beyond this are it all feels stress into this is overwhelm I can do something

this is overwhelm I can do something

this is overwhelm I can do something with overwhelm I can create pockets of

with overwhelm I can create pockets of

with overwhelm I can create pockets of control okay if my stress is lonely I

control okay if my stress is lonely I

control okay if my stress is lonely I can look for opportunities to each other

can look for opportunities to each other

can look for opportunities to each other so emotion granularity is really

so emotion granularity is really

so emotion granularity is really important when it comes to children the

important when it comes to children the

important when it comes to children the same applies we often as parents with

same applies we often as parents with

same applies we often as parents with really really good intentions want to

really really good intentions want to

really really good intentions want to just jump in and say you know the child

just jump in and say you know the child

just jump in and say you know the child says mommy I'm worried you know don't

says mommy I'm worried you know don't

says mommy I'm worried you know don't worry it'll be okay and again I take

worry it'll be okay and again I take

worry it'll be okay and again I take that lesson of my father you know it's

that lesson of my father you know it's

that lesson of my father you know it's normal to be scared what we know for our

normal to be scared what we know for our

normal to be scared what we know for our children is simply showing up to them

children is simply showing up to them

children is simply showing up to them simply being them and holding space for

simply being them and holding space for

simply being them and holding space for them to feel what they feel is probably

them to feel what they feel is probably

them to feel what they feel is probably the most important way that children can

the most important way that children can

the most important way that children can develop a sense of

develop a sense of

develop a sense of security in the context of chaos so

security in the context of chaos so

security in the context of chaos so that's the showing apart the second part

that's the showing apart the second part

that's the showing apart the second part is again we are wanting children to feel

is again we are wanting children to feel

is again we are wanting children to feel that their emotions don't own them when

that their emotions don't own them when

that their emotions don't own them when we set a kid's like I don't worry

we set a kid's like I don't worry

we set a kid's like I don't worry everything will be okay or just be happy

everything will be okay or just be happy

everything will be okay or just be happy what are we teaching we teaching that

what are we teaching we teaching that

what are we teaching we teaching that some emotions are good and some emotions

some emotions are good and some emotions

some emotions are good and some emotions are bad and that the bad ones should be

are bad and that the bad ones should be

are bad and that the bad ones should be done away with and so when we do that

done away with and so when we do that

done away with and so when we do that very often children don't get practice

very often children don't get practice

very often children don't get practice with feeling what a difficult emotion

with feeling what a difficult emotion

with feeling what a difficult emotion feels like and better don't then develop

feels like and better don't then develop

feels like and better don't then develop the the the strength and the capacity

the the the strength and the capacity

the the the strength and the capacity the psychological resource that that

the psychological resource that that

the psychological resource that that builds the winner child is feeling what

builds the winner child is feeling what

builds the winner child is feeling what they're feeling that's what they're

they're feeling that's what they're

they're feeling that's what they're feeling if we can show up to that with

feeling if we can show up to that with

feeling if we can show up to that with compassion that in of itself is probably

compassion that in of itself is probably

compassion that in of itself is probably the most powerful thing then another

the most powerful thing then another

the most powerful thing then another thing that we can do is we can start

thing that we can do is we can start

thing that we can do is we can start helping their child to label their

helping their child to label their

helping their child to label their emotions

emotions

emotions we know that children as young as 2 or 3

we know that children as young as 2 or 3

we know that children as young as 2 or 3 years old are able to start

years old are able to start

years old are able to start differentiating between angry versus

differentiating between angry versus

differentiating between angry versus said I feel rejected or I feel it's

said I feel rejected or I feel it's

said I feel rejected or I feel it's unfair okay so so children are starting

unfair okay so so children are starting

unfair okay so so children are starting to develop this language and when our

to develop this language and when our

to develop this language and when our children are going through difficulties

children are going through difficulties

children are going through difficulties we can help them to do that like is it

we can help them to do that like is it

we can help them to do that like is it that you feeling you know stressed here

that you feeling you know stressed here

that you feeling you know stressed here or is it that you scared are you lonely

or is it that you scared are you lonely

or is it that you scared are you lonely are you you know what is it that's going

are you you know what is it that's going

are you you know what is it that's going on for you sir helping our children to

on for you sir helping our children to

on for you sir helping our children to step out of their emotions so that those

step out of their emotions so that those

step out of their emotions so that those emotions are data but they're not

emotions are data but they're not

emotions are data but they're not directives they're data they're telling

directives they're data they're telling

directives they're data they're telling us what we need but they're not calling

us what we need but they're not calling

us what we need but they're not calling the shots and then we can start helping

the shots and then we can start helping

the shots and then we can start helping our children to say so what is it that

our children to say so what is it that

our children to say so what is it that you need right now you know do you need

you need right now you know do you need

you need right now you know do you need us to organize a facebook conversation

us to organize a facebook conversation

us to organize a facebook conversation with a friend but at the end of the day

with a friend but at the end of the day

with a friend but at the end of the day all of us every single person listening

all of us every single person listening

all of us every single person listening every single person who will be

every single person who will be

every single person who will be listening every one of us is doing the

listening every one of us is doing the

listening every one of us is doing the best we can with who we are with what

best we can with who we are with what

best we can with who we are with what we've got and with the resources that we

we've got and with the resources that we

we've got and with the resources that we have available to us

have available to us

have available to us the most important thing that we can do

the most important thing that we can do

the most important thing that we can do with ourselves and it will then be role

with ourselves and it will then be role

with ourselves and it will then be role models to our children is to be

models to our children is to be

models to our children is to be compassionate with yourself

compassionate with yourself

compassionate with yourself and that moves us into the space instead

and that moves us into the space instead

and that moves us into the space instead of of judgment and not enough and never

of of judgment and not enough and never

of of judgment and not enough and never enough into the space of being and

enough into the space of being and

enough into the space of being and resilience and grace and dignity some

resilience and grace and dignity some

resilience and grace and dignity some people are asking almost not so much

people are asking almost not so much

people are asking almost not so much about you know fear and depression but

about you know fear and depression but

about you know fear and depression but about just just focus like people who

about just just focus like people who

about just just focus like people who have had their academic life their year

have had their academic life their year

have had their academic life their year has been disrupted what can I do to find

has been disrupted what can I do to find

has been disrupted what can I do to find any focus and to pay attention to yeah I

any focus and to pay attention to yeah I

any focus and to pay attention to yeah I mean life is right now

mean life is right now

mean life is right now conspiring conspiring against any kind

conspiring conspiring against any kind

conspiring conspiring against any kind of focus and at the same time you know

of focus and at the same time you know

of focus and at the same time you know we've almost got all of us as a science

we've almost got all of us as a science

we've almost got all of us as a science society like a forced amount a forced

society like a forced amount a forced

society like a forced amount a forced time of needing to read galvanize

time of needing to read galvanize

time of needing to read galvanize ourselves and so I think for every

ourselves and so I think for every

ourselves and so I think for every person first do you recognizing what are

person first do you recognizing what are

person first do you recognizing what are some of the things that you are doing

some of the things that you are doing

some of the things that you are doing that are unintentionally sucking

that are unintentionally sucking

that are unintentionally sucking literally sucking the life out of your

literally sucking the life out of your

literally sucking the life out of your day um it might be it might be the

day um it might be it might be the

day um it might be it might be the constantly checking the numbers it might

constantly checking the numbers it might

constantly checking the numbers it might be you know going down a rabbit hole of

be you know going down a rabbit hole of

be you know going down a rabbit hole of epidemiological studies there are

epidemiological studies there are

epidemiological studies there are different ways that we are just having

different ways that we are just having

different ways that we are just having this conspiring against our attentional

this conspiring against our attentional

this conspiring against our attentional resources and again you know trying to

resources and again you know trying to

resources and again you know trying to navigate what's going on with children

navigate what's going on with children

navigate what's going on with children and with both elderly parents there's

and with both elderly parents there's

and with both elderly parents there's just so much going on I think you know

just so much going on I think you know

just so much going on I think you know one of the most important things that we

one of the most important things that we

one of the most important things that we can do it is as far as you can try to

can do it is as far as you can try to

can do it is as far as you can try to establish pockets of control you know

establish pockets of control you know

establish pockets of control you know there's lots that's out of our control

there's lots that's out of our control

there's lots that's out of our control we we don't control almost all of us

we we don't control almost all of us

we we don't control almost all of us what can we control we control how we

what can we control we control how we

what can we control we control how we respond we can control how we connect

respond we can control how we connect

respond we can control how we connect and we control how we are to the best of

and we control how we are to the best of

and we control how we are to the best of our ability able to segment our time off

our ability able to segment our time off

our ability able to segment our time off so if for you that means that your

so if for you that means that your

so if for you that means that your control that day is simply making and

control that day is simply making and

control that day is simply making and of what food is going to be on the table

of what food is going to be on the table

of what food is going to be on the table or whether that control is putting your

or whether that control is putting your

or whether that control is putting your cell phone in a drawer for an hour every

cell phone in a drawer for an hour every

cell phone in a drawer for an hour every day or whether the control is you know

day or whether the control is you know

day or whether the control is you know shutting something else so we we're

shutting something else so we we're

shutting something else so we we're family we love music and we we always

family we love music and we we always

family we love music and we we always dancing around the kitchen and you know

dancing around the kitchen and you know

dancing around the kitchen and you know we love and you know that's one way that

we love and you know that's one way that

we love and you know that's one way that we bring joy to our lives but I've

we bring joy to our lives but I've

we bring joy to our lives but I've actually been finding that there's so

actually been finding that there's so

actually been finding that there's so much joy is in general that for me the

much joy is in general that for me the

much joy is in general that for me the control is actually the control of

control is actually the control of

control is actually the control of exerting some kind of silence in the

exerting some kind of silence in the

exerting some kind of silence in the environment wherever it's possible I

environment wherever it's possible I

environment wherever it's possible I haven't left the house for two weeks and

haven't left the house for two weeks and

haven't left the house for two weeks and the first week was absolutely you know

the first week was absolutely you know

the first week was absolutely you know it was chaotic with all of the stuff

it was chaotic with all of the stuff

it was chaotic with all of the stuff going on and I found for me being able

going on and I found for me being able

going on and I found for me being able to just think about okay if this lands

to just think about okay if this lands

to just think about okay if this lands up being some kind of forced sabbatical

up being some kind of forced sabbatical

up being some kind of forced sabbatical that I don't ask for but if that's what

that I don't ask for but if that's what

that I don't ask for but if that's what it is what are the three or four things

it is what are the three or four things

it is what are the three or four things that I need to be doing everyday that

that I need to be doing everyday that

that I need to be doing everyday that are going to create some kind of routine

are going to create some kind of routine

are going to create some kind of routine and what are ways that I can think of

and what are ways that I can think of

and what are ways that I can think of other projects that I want to do so we

other projects that I want to do so we

other projects that I want to do so we created some kind of routine for my

created some kind of routine for my

created some kind of routine for my children and and it's not perfect none

children and and it's not perfect none

children and and it's not perfect none of us is perfect but it is what it is

of us is perfect but it is what it is

of us is perfect but it is what it is it's these pockets of control that give

it's these pockets of control that give

it's these pockets of control that give us back our sense of agency and that's

us back our sense of agency and that's

us back our sense of agency and that's really critical so so these

really critical so so these

really critical so so these conversations are very high on the

conversations are very high on the

conversations are very high on the Maslow pyramid how do we who have the

Maslow pyramid how do we who have the

Maslow pyramid how do we who have the privilege to have these conversations

privilege to have these conversations

privilege to have these conversations support those who are out working on the

support those who are out working on the

support those who are out working on the front lines who don't have the luxury of

front lines who don't have the luxury of

front lines who don't have the luxury of taking time for introspection that's

taking time for introspection that's

taking time for introspection that's exactly right

exactly right

exactly right every single one of us has very very

every single one of us has very very

every single one of us has very very different circumstances and like you

different circumstances and like you

different circumstances and like you know I've been thinking so much about

know I've been thinking so much about

know I've been thinking so much about individuals for instance who might be in

individuals for instance who might be in

individuals for instance who might be in situations of domestic abuse or where

situations of domestic abuse or where

situations of domestic abuse or where children are feeling physically unsafe

children are feeling physically unsafe

children are feeling physically unsafe and we're going to school was was

and we're going to school was was

and we're going to school was was literally what was saving that child

literally what was saving that child

literally what was saving that child and this this is where my heart goes to

and this this is where my heart goes to

and this this is where my heart goes to you know this is where our connecting

you know this is where our connecting

you know this is where our connecting with others you know there things that

with others you know there things that

with others you know there things that we can do that can be helpful there are

we can do that can be helpful there are

we can do that can be helpful there are crisis tech slides that are currently

crisis tech slides that are currently

crisis tech slides that are currently looking for people who are available to

looking for people who are available to

looking for people who are available to be a helpful ear to individuals there

be a helpful ear to individuals there

be a helpful ear to individuals there are ways that we can support businesses

are ways that we can support businesses

are ways that we can support businesses you know is that is there a way that we

you know is that is there a way that we

you know is that is there a way that we can buy gift cards to but I mean these

can buy gift cards to but I mean these

can buy gift cards to but I mean these are these are very practical and micro

are these are very practical and micro

are these are very practical and micro suggestions but I think that they they

suggestions but I think that they they

suggestions but I think that they they important because there is real

important because there is real

important because there is real suffering and this is not just about you

suffering and this is not just about you

suffering and this is not just about you know how can I move myself into a higher

know how can I move myself into a higher

know how can I move myself into a higher plane of being and compassion and

plane of being and compassion and

plane of being and compassion and restoration because it's not I mean the

restoration because it's not I mean the

restoration because it's not I mean the reality for many many many people is

reality for many many many people is

reality for many many many people is that I don't have food in my house and

that I don't have food in my house and

that I don't have food in my house and this is why us coming together as

this is why us coming together as

this is why us coming together as community and being values connected and

community and being values connected and

community and being values connected and saying how can we help what a little big

saying how can we help what a little big

saying how can we help what a little big ways that we can help is is fundamental

ways that we can help is is fundamental

ways that we can help is is fundamental this this right now is the marker of our

this this right now is the marker of our

this this right now is the marker of our ability as humanity to come together and

ability as humanity to come together and

ability as humanity to come together and to fight back against this pandemic so

to fight back against this pandemic so

to fight back against this pandemic so putting the camera backs is and you as a

putting the camera backs is and you as a

putting the camera backs is and you as a as a psychologist looking at this

as a psychologist looking at this

as a psychologist looking at this overall situation you know people you

overall situation you know people you

overall situation you know people you can see things going into two ways

can see things going into two ways

can see things going into two ways because the world's conducting this

because the world's conducting this

because the world's conducting this massive psychological experiment we've

massive psychological experiment we've

massive psychological experiment we've never had done before you some people

never had done before you some people

never had done before you some people worry that we are going to drive each

worry that we are going to drive each

worry that we are going to drive each other crazy we're gonna we're gonna

other crazy we're gonna we're gonna

other crazy we're gonna we're gonna bring out so much fear and anger there's

bring out so much fear and anger there's

bring out so much fear and anger there's already a blame game going on between

already a blame game going on between

already a blame game going on between nations possibly between different

nations possibly between different

nations possibly between different communities that on some scenarios that

communities that on some scenarios that

communities that on some scenarios that gets very dark on the other hand there

gets very dark on the other hand there

gets very dark on the other hand there are thousands and thousands of just

are thousands and thousands of just

are thousands and thousands of just amazing stories of help and love and

amazing stories of help and love and

amazing stories of help and love and creativity and people at which way is

creativity and people at which way is

creativity and people at which way is this going to go do you think do you

this going to go do you think do you

this going to go do you think do you think overall we are you know we're

think overall we are you know we're

think overall we are you know we're going to find a way of this persuading

going to find a way of this persuading

going to find a way of this persuading each other to be our better selves when

each other to be our better selves when

each other to be our better selves when we

we

we experience what in Psychological terms

experience what in Psychological terms

experience what in Psychological terms is called mortality salience mortality

is called mortality salience mortality

is called mortality salience mortality salience is this idea that our death

salience is this idea that our death

salience is this idea that our death becomes it's moved from something that

becomes it's moved from something that

becomes it's moved from something that we can conveniently avoid to something

we can conveniently avoid to something

we can conveniently avoid to something that is much more at the periphery even

that is much more at the periphery even

that is much more at the periphery even if we aren't directly infected or

if we aren't directly infected or

if we aren't directly infected or directly experiencing something it's

directly experiencing something it's

directly experiencing something it's much more salient to us and we know that

much more salient to us and we know that

much more salient to us and we know that when human beings have this mortality

when human beings have this mortality

when human beings have this mortality salience we tend to become much more as

salience we tend to become much more as

salience we tend to become much more as in them we tend to become more biased

in them we tend to become more biased

in them we tend to become more biased mysterious up there lot of predictable

mysterious up there lot of predictable

mysterious up there lot of predictable psychological responses when we

psychological responses when we

psychological responses when we experience this um but we also know that

experience this um but we also know that

experience this um but we also know that human beings have through time had a

human beings have through time had a

human beings have through time had a well of wisdom and humanity and you know

well of wisdom and humanity and you know

well of wisdom and humanity and you know what I would just say is I think that

what I would just say is I think that

what I would just say is I think that what so often happens is we try to solve

what so often happens is we try to solve

what so often happens is we try to solve the world's problems with our minds and

the world's problems with our minds and

the world's problems with our minds and of course we've got them this Minds out

of course we've got them this Minds out

of course we've got them this Minds out there working on and they should

there working on and they should

there working on and they should continue working on it and I think this

continue working on it and I think this

continue working on it and I think this is a time where we we actually need to

is a time where we we actually need to

is a time where we we actually need to move away from our minds into our hearts

move away from our minds into our hearts

move away from our minds into our hearts into our breathing our seeing our

into our breathing our seeing our

into our breathing our seeing our compassion our wisdom our fortitude and

compassion our wisdom our fortitude and

compassion our wisdom our fortitude and when I look at the research when I look

when I look at the research when I look

when I look at the research when I look at the psychology of generosity and

at the psychology of generosity and

at the psychology of generosity and helpers and community and you see that

helpers and community and you see that

helpers and community and you see that through history that there is this

through history that there is this

through history that there is this experience of human beings coming

experience of human beings coming

experience of human beings coming together I believe with all of me that

together I believe with all of me that

together I believe with all of me that we can but it comes through the place of

we can but it comes through the place of

we can but it comes through the place of being able to see ourselves and to see

being able to see ourselves and to see

being able to see ourselves and to see the other introducer with compassion you

the other introducer with compassion you

the other introducer with compassion you know even the person who might be

know even the person who might be

know even the person who might be hoarding toilet-paper compassion doesn't

hoarding toilet-paper compassion doesn't

hoarding toilet-paper compassion doesn't mean that you agree that that person is

mean that you agree that that person is

mean that you agree that that person is doing you know the right or the wrong

doing you know the right or the wrong

doing you know the right or the wrong thing it's it's about moving beyond

thing it's it's about moving beyond

thing it's it's about moving beyond right or wrong and it's saying you know

right or wrong and it's saying you know

right or wrong and it's saying you know what is this person experiencing inside

what is this person experiencing inside

what is this person experiencing inside of themselves that might be driving a

of themselves that might be driving a

of themselves that might be driving a particular response that is this

particular response that is this

particular response that is this openness of the beauty of who he can be

openness of the beauty of who he can be

openness of the beauty of who he can be as human beings and I believe that we

as human beings and I believe that we

as human beings and I believe that we can

can

can and we'll do that and that that is the

and we'll do that and that that is the

and we'll do that and that that is the sustainable way forward in what is a

sustainable way forward in what is a

sustainable way forward in what is a fragile and beautiful world right now

fragile and beautiful world right now

fragile and beautiful world right now hmm

hmm

hmm well well Susan thank you so much for

well well Susan thank you so much for

well well Susan thank you so much for that Whitney thank you so much for the

that Whitney thank you so much for the

that Whitney thank you so much for the conversation there and you guys are mine

conversation there and you guys are mine

conversation there and you guys are mine feel it feels great to be engaged with

feel it feels great to be engaged with

feel it feels great to be engaged with you

you

you so look tomorrow I'm gonna be talking

so look tomorrow I'm gonna be talking

so look tomorrow I'm gonna be talking with Bill Gates needs no introduction

with Bill Gates needs no introduction

with Bill Gates needs no introduction you know five years ago he gave a talk

you know five years ago he gave a talk

you know five years ago he gave a talk warning about the coming pandemic he if

warning about the coming pandemic he if

warning about the coming pandemic he if you watch that top Google Bill Gates TED

you watch that top Google Bill Gates TED

you watch that top Google Bill Gates TED talk pandemic watch that if you can

talk pandemic watch that if you can

talk pandemic watch that if you can before tomorrow it will make your blood

before tomorrow it will make your blood

before tomorrow it will make your blood run cold I mean he's so much of what

run cold I mean he's so much of what

run cold I mean he's so much of what what the world is experiencing now was

what the world is experiencing now was

what the world is experiencing now was laid out there absolutely crystal clear

laid out there absolutely crystal clear

laid out there absolutely crystal clear and and clearly not not enough was done

and and clearly not not enough was done

and and clearly not not enough was done so it's going to be slow fascinating to

so it's going to be slow fascinating to

so it's going to be slow fascinating to hear from him what happened you know why

hear from him what happened you know why

hear from him what happened you know why I mean he's a big powerful man why

I mean he's a big powerful man why

I mean he's a big powerful man why didn't the world listen more and more

didn't the world listen more and more

didn't the world listen more and more importantly what on earth could we do

importantly what on earth could we do

importantly what on earth could we do now how do we scramble do get our health

now how do we scramble do get our health

now how do we scramble do get our health systems operating more effectively how

systems operating more effectively how

systems operating more effectively how do we think about the future and then

do we think about the future and then

do we think about the future and then during the rest to weakness oh there's a

during the rest to weakness oh there's a

during the rest to weakness oh there's a wonderful lineup as well and so check if

wonderful lineup as well and so check if

wonderful lineup as well and so check if you check on Ted calm the full program

you check on Ted calm the full program

you check on Ted calm the full program is on there as to who's coming

is on there as to who's coming

is on there as to who's coming we welcome suggestions for the speakers

we welcome suggestions for the speakers

we welcome suggestions for the speakers as well thanks everyone stay well stay

as well thanks everyone stay well stay

as well thanks everyone stay well stay strong we can do this bye for now

strong we can do this bye for now

strong we can do this bye for now [Music]