How to pronounce "sober"

This is a play called "Sell/Buy/Date."

It's my first since "Bridge and Tunnel," which I did on Broadway,

and this one, I -- thank you --

I've excerpted it just for you, so here we go.

Right. Class, let's be absolutely certain

all electronic devices are switched off before we begin.

So class, hopefully you'll recognize what you just heard me say as the -- ?

Very good, the cellular phone announcement.

Right? This was also known as a mobile phone.

So you'll remember, people of that era

would have had an external electronic device, right,

something like this,

and they all would have carried one of these around with them,

and amongst their biggest fears was the sheer mortification

that one of these might ring at some inopportune moment.

Right? So a bit of trivia about that era for you.

(Laughter)

So the format of today's class is

I will be presenting multiple BERT modules today

from that period in history, right,

so starting circa 2016.

And remember, this was the very first year of the BERT program.

So we've got quite a few of these to get through.

Bear in mind, I will be living into various different bodies,

different ages,

also what were then called races, or ethnic groups,

as you'll remember from Unit 1.

And -- (Laughter) -- and along the gender continuum,

I will be living into males as well.

It was quite binary at that time.

(Laughter)

Also, don't forget, we are reading the book module

for next week's focus on gender.

Now, I know some of you have requested the book in pill form.

I know people still believe ingesting it is better for retention,

but since we are trying to experience what our forebears did, right,

let's please just consider doing the actual ocular reading, okay?

And also, how many people have your emotional shunts engaged?

Right. Please toggle them off. Okay?

I know it's challenging, but I want you to be able to feel the entire

natural emo range, all right?

It is essential to this part of the syllabus.

Yes, Macy?

All right. I understand. If you're unwilling to --

All right, well, we can discuss that after class.

All right, we will discuss your concerns.

Just relax. Nobody's died and gone to composting.

Okay. After class. Okay? After class.

Let's just get started, okay.

This first subject identified as a middle-class homemaker.

Remember, these early modules

in these people's full identities were protected,

and this allowed them to speak more freely on our topic,

which for many of them was taboo.

Okay honey, now, I'm ready when you are.

No, sweetheart, I said, I'm ready when you are.

I'm freezing.

It's like a meat locker in here in this recording studio.

I should have brought a shmata.

All this fancy technology but they can't afford heat.

What is he saying? I can't hear you!

I can't hear you through the glass, honey!

There you are in my ear.

Oh, you can hear me?

The whole time.

Oh, yes, I am a little chilly.

Yes, oh the cold is for the machines, the new technology. Okay.

Yes, now remind me again, you're recording not only my voice but my feelings

and my memories? Right.

Yes, BERT, yes, I read about it.

Bio-Empathetic Resonant Technology.

Right, right, so people will be able to feel my experience

and my memory? Okay.

No, right, I'm ready.

I just thought you were going to give me a test to see how my memory's doing.

I was going to tell you you're too late, it's already bad news.

No, no, go ahead, honey.

Oh, that's the first question?

What do I think of prostitution?

Are you soliciting me, young man?

I've heard of May-December romances, but what are you, about 20 years old?

Eighteen? Eighteen years.

I think I have candies in my purse older than 18 years old.

(Laughter)

I'm teasing you, sweetheart. No, I'm comfortable with any question.

Sure. So about the prostitution -- oh, sex worker, sex worker.

No, just in my day, they called it prostitution, not sex work.

Oh, because it includes pornography also?

Okay.

No, well, I guess when I was a girl,

we didn't really have a name for that either.

We would have said dirty magazines, I suppose, or dirty movies.

Well, it's not like what you have with the Internet.

No, well, I don't mind sharing.

My late husband and I, we were a very romantic couple.

Lots of tenderness, you understand.

Well, as you get older, you know, at one point I thought my husband

might be helped by using some of the pills men can take,

but he wasn't interested in those,

so I thought, what about maybe watching an adult movie on the Internet?

Just for inspiration, you understand.

Well, at the time, neither of us were very good on the computer,

so usually, if we needed help with the Internet,

we would just call our children or our grandchildren,

but obviously, in this case, that wasn't an option,

so I thought, I'll have a look myself, just to see.

How difficult could it be?

You search for certain key words and you look --

Oh wow is right, young man.

You can't imagine what I saw.

Well, first of all, I was just trying to find, you know, couples,

normal couples making love,

but this, so many people together at one time.

You couldn't tell which part belonged to which body.

How they even got the cameras to capture some of this, I couldn't tell you.

But the one thing they didn't capture was making love.

There was lots of making of something,

but they took the love part right out of it, you know, the fun.

It was all very extreme, you know?

Like you would say, with the extreme sports.

Lots of endurance,

but never tenderness.

So anyway, needless to say, that was $19.95 I'll never get back again,

but it only showed up on the credit card as "entertainment services,"

so my husband was never the wiser,

and after all of that,

well, you could say it turned out

he didn't need the extra inspiration after all.

Right, so next subject is a young woman -- (Applause) --

Next subject, class, is a young woman called Bella,

a university student interviewed in 2016

during what was called an Intro to Feminist Porn class

as part of her major in sex work at a college in the Bay Area.

(Laughter)

Yeah, I just want to, like, get a recording of, like,

you guys recording me,

like a meta recording, or whatever.

It's just like this whole experience is just, like, really amazing,

and I'd like to capture that for, like, Instagram and my Tumblr.

So, like, hi guys, it's me, Bella,

and I am, like, being interviewed right now

for this, like, really amazing Bio-Empathetic Resonance Technology,

which is, like, basically where they are, like, recording, as you can see

from these, whatever, like, electrodes,

the formation of, like, neuropeptides in my hippocampus, or whatever.

They will later be able to reconstitute these

as, like, my own actual memory, like actual experiences,

so other people can, like, actually feel what I'm feeling right now.

Okay. Okay.

So, like, hello, BERT person of the future who is experiencing me.

This is what it feels like to be, like, a college freshman,

and also the, like, headache that you are experiencing through me

is the, like, residual effect of the Jell-O shots which I had last night

at the bi-weekly feminist pole dancing party

which I cohost on Wednesdays.

It's called "Don't Get All Pole-emical" -- (Laughter) --

and it's in Beekman Hall,

and, what else, like,

non-Jell-O shots are also available for vegans,

and, oh, okay, yeah, totally, yeah, we should also focus on your questions also.

So for your record, I am, like, a sex work studies major

but minoring in social media

with a concentration on notable YouTube memes.

(Laughter)

Yes, well, of course, like, I consider myself to be, like,

obviously, like, a feminist.

I was named for Bella Abzug, who was, like, a famous, like,

feminist from history,

and, like, also I feel that it is, like, important to, like, represent women

who are, like, sex-positive feminists.

What is sex-negative?

Well, like, I guess I would ask, like, what do you think

sex-negative is? (Laughter)

Yeah, because, like, the terms that we use are, like, so important, because, like,

we call it sex work because it helps people understand that, like, it's work,

and, like, you know, just like there are, like, healthcare providers

and, like, insurance providers,

like, we think of these workers as, like, sex care providers.

Yeah, but like, I don't think of myself like, providing direct

sex care services per se as, like, being a requirement

for me to be, like, an advocate.

Like, I support other women's right to choose it voluntarily, like,

if they enjoy it.

Yeah, but, like, I see myself going forward

as more likely, like, protecting sex workers',

like, legal freedoms and rights.

Yeah, so, like, basically, I'm planning on becoming a lawyer.

Right, class. (Laughter) (Applause)

So these next two modules are also circa 2016.

One subject is an Irishwoman with a particularly noteworthy

relationship to this issue,

but first will be a West Indian woman,

a self-described escort

who was recorded at a sex workers' rights rally and parade.

She was interviewed whilst marching in full carnival headdress

and very little else.

All right, you want me to start talking now.

Yeah, I told you, you can put those wires anywhere you want to

as long as it don't get in the way.

Yeah, no, but, tell me again what the name of -- BERT? BERT.

Yeah, I was telling you, you know, I think I have in all my time

I have had at least one client with that name, so this won't be the first time

I had BERT all over me.

Oh, I'm sorry,

but you got to get into the spirit of it if you're going to interview me.

All right? You can say it.

No justice, no piece! No justice, no piece!

But you see the sign? You get it? P-I-E-C-E. No justice, no piece of us.

You understand?

Right, so that's the part where I was telling you

is that when I first came to this country, I worked every job I could find.

I was a nanny; I was a home care attendant for all these different old people,

and then I said, child, if I have to touch another white man's backside,

I might as well get paid a lot more money for it than this,

you understand?

Pshh, you know how hard it is being a domestic worker?

Some of these men, they're heavy.

You have to pick them up and flip them over.

Now, I let them pick me up and flip me over, you understand?

Well, you have to have a sense of humor about it, that's what I think.

No, but see, listen,

you find me somebody who don't hate some part of their job.

I mean, there's a lot of things about this job that I hate,

but the money is not one of them,

and I will tell you, as long as this is the best possibility

for me to make real money,

I am going to be Jamaican-No-Fakin' if that's what they want to call me.

No, I'm not even from Jamaica. That's how they market me.

My family is from Trinidad and the Virgin Islands.

They don't know what I do, but you know what?

My children, they know that their school fees are paid,

they have their books and their computer,

and this way, I know that they have a chance.

So I'm not going to tell you that what I do, it's easy,

I'm not going to tell you that I feel -- what's that you said, liberated?

But I'm going to tell you that I feel paid.

Right. (Applause)

Thanks, that's lovely, and just the cup of tea, love,

and just a splash of the whiskey.

It's perfect, that's grand. Just a drop more. A splash. Perfect.

What was your name? Peter? Is that right, so, Peter?

Right. So that, that is the unique part of it for me,

right, is that I ended up in both,

first in the convent, and then in the prostitution after. That's right.

(Laughter)

So one woman at the university here in Dublin, she wrote about me.

She said, Maureen Fitzroy is the living embodiment of the whore-virgin dichotomy.

Right? (Laughter)

Doesn't it sound like something you need to go into hospital?

Well, I've got this terrible dichotomy.

Doesn't it.

Right. Well, for me though, it was, as a girl, it started with me dad.

I mean, half the time, when he spoke to us, it was just a sort of

tell us we were all useless rotten idiots and we had no morals, that type of thing.

And I certainly didn't do myself any favors.

By the time I was 16,

I had started messing about with this older fella,

and he wanted it to be our little secret,

and I did as I was told, didn't I,

and when that got back to me dad, he had me sent straightaway to the convent.

Well no, that older fella, he would still come to find me in the convent.

Yeah, he'd leave me notes

tucked into the holes in the brick at the back of the charity shop

so we could meet.

And he'd tell me how he's leaving his wife,

and I believed him, until I got pregnant.

I did, Peter, and I left him a note about it in our special place there,

and I never did hear from him again.

No, I gave it up for adoption so it could have a decent life,

and then they wouldn't let me back into the convent.

No, my one sister Virginia gave me a fiver for the coach to Dublin,

and that's how I ended up here.

Well, surprise, surprise, I fell in love with another fella much older than me,

and I always say I was just so happy because he didn't drink,

I married the bastard.

Well, he didn't drink, but he did have just the wee heroin problem, didn't he,

and -- That's right, and before I knew it,

he was the one who turned me on to the prostitution, my own husband.

He had me supporting the both of us.

I was 18.

Well, it wasn't Pretty Woman, I can tell you that.

That Julia Roberts,

if she'd ever had to sleep with a man to put a few pounds in her pocket,

I don't think she'd ever have made that film.

Well, for your record,

my opinion of the legalization, I'd say I'm against it.

I just, I don't care what these young girls say.

You know, living like that, you're just lost,

and, you know, I'm 63 years old.

I'm still trying to find who I am.

You know, I never was a wife or a nun,

or a prostitute even, really, not really.

Nobody ever asked who I wanted to be.

They just told me,

and if you legalize it,

then you're really telling these girls, "Go on and get lost for a living,"

and a lot of them, they'll do as they're told.

All right, so four perspectives from four quite -- (Applause) --

four quite different voices there, right?

One woman saying sex itself is natural but the sex industry seems to

mechanize or industrialize it.

Then the second woman considered sex work to be empowering,

liberating, and feminist, though she, herself, notably,

did not seem keen to do it.

The third woman, who actually was a so-called sex worker

did not agree that it was liberating but she wanted the right

to the economic empowerment,

and then we hear the fourth woman saying not only prostitution itself

but proscribed roles for women in general

prevented her from ever finding who she was, right?

So another fact most people did not know

was the average age of an at-risk girl being introduced to the sex industry

was 12 or 13.

Also consider that the age when all girls in that society

first became exposed to sexualized images of women

was quite a bit earlier, right?

This was a doll called Barbie, right?

I initially thought she was an educational tool for anorexia prevention --

(Laughter) --

but actually she was considered by many

to be a wholesome symbol of femininity,

and often young girls began what was called dieting.

Remember this? This was restricting food intake on purpose

by the age of six,

and defining themselves based on attractiveness

by around that same time. Right?

Yes?

Right, Bradley, okay, excellent point.

So there was a lucrative market in that society in convincing all people

they had to look a certain way to even have a sex life, right?

But girls, especially, were expected to be "sexy" while avoiding

being perceived as "sluts" for being sexual. Right?

So there's that shame piece we've heard about.

Yes.

Valerie, right? Okay, very good.

Of course, men were having sex as well,

but you'll remember from the reading,

what were male sluts called?

Very good, they were called men.

(Laughter) (Applause)

So not easy living in a world like that, right?

Though it was not all bad news either.

Most women in the early 2000s considered themselves empowered,

and men generally felt they were also evolved in this area,

and, in fact, most people would have been aware of issues

like human trafficking, for example,

but they would have seen that as quite separate

from more recreational adult entertainment.

And so we'll just very briefly, class -- we don't have a lot of time --

we'll just very briefly hear from a man

on our topic at this stage.

So this next subject was interviewed on the night of his bachelor party.

Dude, can you, all right, can you just keep it down?

I'm trying to talk to BERT right now.

Oh, your name's not BERT.

BERT's the name of the, oh, all right.

No, no, no, totally, it's totally fine. I'm mostly sober,

so I just want to be helpful.

Yeah, and I totally believe in causes, yeah, like, all that stuff.

(Laughter)

And actually, I'm wearing Toms right now.

Yeah, Toms, like, the shoes,

like, you buy a pair and then a kid in Africa gets clean water.

Yeah. Totally.

But what was the question again? Sorry.

Of course I believe in women's rights. I'm marrying a woman.

(Laughter)

No, but I mean, like, just because I'm in a strip club parking lot

doesn't mean that I'm, like, a sexist or whatever.

My fiancee is totally amazing, she's totally a strong girl, woman,

smart woman, like, the whole thing.

Yeah, she knows I'm here. She's probably at a strip club herself right now,

like, as a joke, same as me.

My best man, I told him he could surprise me,

and he thought this would be hilarious,

but this is not something.

Yeah, we all went to B school together.

Wharton.

(Laughter)

Yeah, so, dude, can you guys --

All right, but it's my bachelor party,

and I can spend it in the parking lot with Anderson Cooper if I want to.

All right, I'll see you in there.

All right, okay, so Anderson,

so, like, first of all, stripping,

but then, like, all the other things you're talking about,

prostitution and all that stuff, that's, like, not the same thing at all.

You know? Like, you keep calling it the sex industry or whatever,

but it's like, if the girl wants to be an exotic dancer

and she's 18, like, that's her right.

Whoa, whoa, I hear what you're saying, but I just feel like people,

they just want to make it seem like all dudes are just, like, predators,

that we would just automatically go to a prostitute, or whatever.

Even, like, when I pledged, you know, like when I rushed my fraternity.

My brothers who I'm close to, those guys, they're all like me.

We're just normal people, but, like, there's this myth that you must

be that guy who is kind of an asshole, and like, all bros before hos or whatever.

And actually, like, bros before hos, it doesn't mean like what it sounds like.

It's actually just like a joking way of saying that you care about your brothers

and you put them first.

Yeah, but, you can't blame the media, either.

I mean, like, if you go watch "Hangover 2,"

and you think that's an instruction manual

for your life, like, I don't know what to tell you.

You know? You don't watch "Bourne Identity"

and go drive your car over a gondola in Venice. (Laughter)

Well, yeah, okay, like, if you're a little kid or whatever,

of course it's different, but --

Yeah, all right, I remember one thing like that.

I was at this kid's house one time playing GTA,

uh, Grand Theft Auto?

Dude, are you from Canada? (Laughter)

So, like, whatever, with Grand Theft Auto,

you're this kid, like, you're this guy walking around or whatever,

and you can basically, like, the more cops you kill,

the more points you get, and stuff like that.

But also, you can find prostitutes

and obviously you can do sexual stuff with them,

but you can, like, kill them and take your money back.

Yeah, this kid, I remember he ran over a couple of them a few times with his car

and he got all these points.

We were, like, 10, I think.

It felt pretty terrible, actually.

No, I don't think I said anything, I just finished playing and went home.

All right class, so then there were men who had more than just

a passing relationship to this issue. (Laughter)

The next subject described himself as a reformed and remorseful pimp

turned motivational speaker,

life coach and therapist,

but if you want to know more about him, you'll have to come to the entire play.

Thank you so much, you beautiful TED audience.

I will see you for "Sell/Buy/Date."

(Applause)