On the Spot
with
Natasha Rothwell
Well, I'm quite excited for this format.
I'm going to ring this here bell.
Some questions will pop up, I'll repeat
them and we'll see what happens.
I cut my teeth in improv,
so hopefully, that pays off.
(Laughter)
Alrighty.
(Ding)
What ignites your creativity?
I would have to say for me,
I have kind of an insatiable,
if not annoying curiosity
about the human condition.
I want to know why I am the way that I am,
why are you the way that you are.
But I think when I write,
create, direct, produce,
I want to do things that people connect to
and make them feel less alone.
(Ding)
What does TV need more of?
Representation.
(Yells) Representation.
(Cheers and applause)
I remember growing up and the gymnastics,
the mental gymnastics, I would have to do
to project myself on the protagonist.
I mean, Simone Biles could never.
(Laughter)
And the power of representation
is exampled by me being here right now.
Part of the reason why I'm here
is because of the show "Gimme a Break!"
Clap if you remember.
(Cheers and applause)
It starred Nell Carter.
And Nell Carter was a plus-size
Black fatty baddie
who was unapologetic
about taking up space.
And she taught me that I, too,
could be a Black fatty baddie
and take up space.
And that's an idea I didn't necessarily
know I could latch on to,
because I didn't see main characters
that looked like me.
And so I never tapped
into that main character energy
until I saw her.
(Ding)
Describe your first "pinch me" moment.
I've had several.
Ten years ago, I worked
for "Saturday Night Live,"
and my very first Saturday there,
I went down from the writers room
and I watched the ending credits
on the floor at Studio 8H.
And when you’re down there,
you see the cast onstage, clapping,
the band is playing.
And what you may or may not know
is, to the left and right of the screen,
there are monitors,
and we get to see
what you guys see at home.
And I saw the credits going,
and you see the word "Writers,"
and then you see all of the writers' names
cycling under the word "Writers."
And I saw my name,
and it was mind-blowing.
You know, I was definitely, like,
starstruck in that moment,
that my name was there
and I was there as well.
But it was like an aha moment,
because I had never
called myself a writer.
And I don’t know when it happened,
but somewhere along the way,
I told myself that I can't
call myself a writer
until someone else calls me a writer,
and I'd given away that power.
And it was from that moment
on, I realized,
I know I had ambitions to direct
and to act on the screen
and to be on Broadway
and all these things.
I wasn't going to wait to have
someone else give me that identity.
Because just because your paycheck
doesn't match your ambition
doesn't mean you aren't those things.
(Cheers and applause)
The best job advice I've ever gotten?
Be prolific, not perfect.
Changed my life.
(Ding)
Lightning round, OK.
(Ding)
A night in or a night out?
I'm going to say a night in.
My favorite thing in the world
is to be cancelled on.
Make a plan with me --
(Laughter)
Make a plan with me,
and text me like 30 minutes before
and say, "Nah, we can't do it."
You'll be my best friend.
(Laughter)
Too hot or too cold?
I'm going to say I'd rather be too cold,
because there's only so naked I can get
in public before it becomes a problem.
(Laughter)
Winning the lottery
or finding your soulmate?
I'm going to say winning the lottery.
(Laughter)
Because, listen, my soulmate
is going to find me, OK?
(Laughter)
Caesar salad or chicken parm?
Both. I'm a Libra, can't choose.
(Ding)
Waiting in line for merch
or seeing the opener?
I'm seeing the opener, OK?
I'm a military brat,
so being on time is late,
being early is on time,
so I'm seeing the opener,
with my merch.
(Laughter)
(Ding)
Time travel to the past
or time travel to the future?
To the future, OK?
I have anxiety.
This would absolutely mitigate
my need for beta-blockers.
(Laughter)
(Ding)
Die alone or die lonely?
Die alone.
Die alone.
So I wrote a show about dying alone.
And that came about because
for the better part of my life,
I grew up thinking
that was the worst thing possible.
And what I came to realize was,
as I got older and my friends
got married and were in partnerships,
a lot of them were lonely ...
and that was hard to watch.
And I realized that I had spent
the better part of my life, again,
thanks to seeing them
and a lot of therapy,
that loneliness was actually
the thing to be afraid of.
And so the show and my life
since having that awakening
has been spent finding
the antidote to loneliness.
And for me, that is vulnerability
and allowing myself to have connections.
(Ding)
What are we getting wrong about love?
I was guilty of this.
I often prioritized
and valued romantic love
over all other types of love.
Truly, it was that golden ring
that was I was going for.
And what that did, it blinded me
to the love that was in my life.
The vast amount of love in my life.
Platonic, familial.
Because I thought, you know,
"That's not the good stuff, I want that."
And I think for me, anyway,
bringing romantic love in line
with all the other kinds of love
that exist within the world
and within my life,
it opened up my eyes.
And I realized that, you know,
my life was lousy with love.
I couldn't turn, throw a stone
without seeing the vast amount
of love in my life.
And I think that also allowed me
to see romantic love for what it is.
It's not the key to my happiness.
It's icing.
(Ding)
What does it mean to love yourself?
Oh, boy. OK.
Loving myself is a practice.
And a practice is inherently imperfect.
And I'm a recovering perfectionist,
so I love that. (Laughs)
So for me, my self-love practice
has to have its roots in grace.
Because it is imperfect,
and I'm not going
to get it right all the time,
but I have to love myself
through loving myself.
(Ding)
What's the best thing someone can put
on their dating profile?
"Must be in therapy."
(Laughter, applause)
That's real.
What's blown your mind recently?
Oh, boy. (Laughs)
OK, I'm going to share it.
I was debating ...
About a month ago,
I had my mind blown pretty massively.
I found out that I'm ADHD.
And I know what you're probably thinking.
You're like, "Oh man,
everybody's suddenly ADHD."
(Laughs)
By and large, it's a lot
of women and women of color,
because we often go undiagnosed.
And a lot of those women who had gone
undiagnosed are posting on TikTok,
and I'm watching it.
And I already knew that I was,
like, a little neurospicy.
(Laughter)
But I didn't know how much,
until I started watching these TikToks.
And I was identifying, you know,
post after post after post.
And so I went to three different
doctors to get my diagnosis.
And, you know, PSA, you don't need
to go to three different doctors.
But I was resisting that diagnosis.
Heavy, heavy.
I didn't want it to be true,
and I didn't want it to be true
for a couple of reasons.
One, I would have to look back
at my life, as, you know,
in elementary school and middle school,
high school and college,
and remember those moments
of acute pain where I was struggling,
struggling so hard to be
what I thought I was supposed to be
in a particular moment.
When I couldn't focus,
when I was chasing dopamine
instead of reading my books,
when I struggled to power through a day
because I couldn't sleep the night before.
And that's sad, when you look back
and you see all of those moments
that probably could have been remedied,
had I known.
And the other reason
why I think it was also hard for me
to accept the diagnosis ...
I think ...
It necessitates pencils down.
You guys know the concept of pencils down
when you're taking a test in school,
and the teacher's like,
"Pencils down, you're done."
So that meant I had to look at myself ...
as whole.
As "I don't need to change those things
about me that were all already innate
that I tried to change my whole life."
I just had to hold on to it.
I had to hold on to it
and support it and love it.
And so the pencils down,
that's hard for a perfectionist,
especially a writer,
because I want to edit.
And so it was a powerful thing
and a painful thing,
but it blew my mind to smithereens.
(Laughs)
(Applause)
What would you tell your 20-year-old you?
"You got ADHD."
(Laughter)
"Girl, you got ADHD."
(Laughter)
No, but for real,
I would also tell her ...
“You are enough.
More than enough.
And ...
You are going to meet and hug
Idris Elba." (Laughter)
That's my time, guys, thank you so much.
(Cheers and applause)
Thank you for being
On the Spot, Natasha!