How to pronounce "extinguished"

I'm going to jump in giving you the hard

I'm going to jump in giving you the hard

I'm going to jump in giving you the hard easy question which is you know by the

easy question which is you know by the

easy question which is you know by the way last Friday was apparently quitters

way last Friday was apparently quitters

way last Friday was apparently quitters Day by which most the day supposedly by

Day by which most the day supposedly by

Day by which most the day supposedly by which most people have have quit their

which most people have have quit their

which most people have have quit their resolutions so I was wondering David I

resolutions so I was wondering David I

resolutions so I was wondering David I was like wait is there a national

was like wait is there a national

was like wait is there a national quitters day I know we have national

quitters day I know we have national

quitters day I know we have national holidays for everything I miss Best

holidays for everything I miss Best

holidays for everything I miss Best Friends Day I didn't realize apparently

Friends Day I didn't realize apparently

Friends Day I didn't realize apparently apparently so New Year's resolutions

apparently so New Year's resolutions

apparently so New Year's resolutions good or bad give me your take um I think

good or bad give me your take um I think

good or bad give me your take um I think they're terrible I think they're

they're terrible I think they're

they're terrible I think they're terrible because I think why do you need

terrible because I think why do you need

terrible because I think why do you need to set a date to start something if you

to set a date to start something if you

to set a date to start something if you want to start becoming a better version

want to start becoming a better version

want to start becoming a better version of yourself why don't you just start

of yourself why don't you just start

of yourself why don't you just start immediately why is there an arbitrary

immediately why is there an arbitrary

immediately why is there an arbitrary date that you have to set you don't need

date that you have to set you don't need

date that you have to set you don't need to wait on a date if if your goal is

to wait on a date if if your goal is

to wait on a date if if your goal is extrinsically motivated thus based on a

extrinsically motivated thus based on a

extrinsically motivated thus based on a date then I think extrinsic motivation

date then I think extrinsic motivation

date then I think extrinsic motivation it will fall short much sooner than

it will fall short much sooner than

it will fall short much sooner than intrinsic motivation which is simply

intrinsic motivation which is simply

intrinsic motivation which is simply like hey I want to be better from within

like hey I want to be better from within

like hey I want to be better from within so simply put I don't believe in New

so simply put I don't believe in New

so simply put I don't believe in New Year's resolutions I do not set New

Year's resolutions I do not set New

Year's resolutions I do not set New Year's resolutions I do not subscribe to

Year's resolutions I do not subscribe to

Year's resolutions I do not subscribe to New Year's resolutions because it's

New Year's resolutions because it's

New Year's resolutions because it's simply an arbitrary date and I'd rather

simply an arbitrary date and I'd rather

simply an arbitrary date and I'd rather in intrinsic motivation than extrinsic

in intrinsic motivation than extrinsic

in intrinsic motivation than extrinsic and so you might be a resolutions aside

and so you might be a resolutions aside

and so you might be a resolutions aside you might be the most anti-g goal

you might be the most anti-g goal

you might be the most anti-g goal setting in general person that I know

setting in general person that I know

setting in general person that I know which might be surprising given your

which might be surprising given your

which might be surprising given your accomplishments can you talk a little

accomplishments can you talk a little

accomplishments can you talk a little bit about where that where that

bit about where that where that

bit about where that where that animosity toward resolutions and goals

animosity toward resolutions and goals

animosity toward resolutions and goals came from what the origin story there

came from what the origin story there

came from what the origin story there one specific incident probably the

one specific incident probably the

one specific incident probably the greatest pain of my life it was February

greatest pain of my life it was February

greatest pain of my life it was February of 2012 I am doing a job interview in

of 2012 I am doing a job interview in

of 2012 I am doing a job interview in front of 32 billionaires with a be 32 of

front of 32 billionaires with a be 32 of

front of 32 billionaires with a be 32 of the richest men in the world one does um

the richest men in the world one does um

the richest men in the world one does um I played in the National Football League

I played in the National Football League

I played in the National Football League and so I'm doing uh the NFL combine in

and so I'm doing uh the NFL combine in

and so I'm doing uh the NFL combine in front of 32 of the NFL owners every

front of 32 of the NFL owners every

front of 32 of the NFL owners every owner obviously being one of the

owner obviously being one of the

owner obviously being one of the wealthiest individuals and I was running

wealthiest individuals and I was running

wealthiest individuals and I was running the 40-yard dash and David this is a

the 40-yard dash and David this is a

the 40-yard dash and David this is a true story after three years in college

true story after three years in college

true story after three years in college you can leave early to enter the

you can leave early to enter the

you can leave early to enter the National Football League I'm going to

National Football League I'm going to

National Football League I'm going to speak to everyone as if they have no

speak to everyone as if they have no

speak to everyone as if they have no level of knowledge about Pro Sports

level of knowledge about Pro Sports

level of knowledge about Pro Sports whatsoever so once you're in college for

whatsoever so once you're in college for

whatsoever so once you're in college for three years I went to the University of

three years I went to the University of

three years I went to the University of Texas that's my Alma aitor Alma aitor

Texas that's my Alma aitor Alma aitor

Texas that's my Alma aitor Alma aitor once you're in college for three years

once you're in college for three years

once you're in college for three years David you can go pro well I wanted to go

David you can go pro well I wanted to go

David you can go pro well I wanted to go pro after my third year but NFL Scouts

pro after my third year but NFL Scouts

pro after my third year but NFL Scouts they told me hey Emanuel AO you won't be

they told me hey Emanuel AO you won't be

they told me hey Emanuel AO you won't be drafted where you desire to be drafted

drafted where you desire to be drafted

drafted where you desire to be drafted it's best you go back to college for one

it's best you go back to college for one

it's best you go back to college for one more year to increase your draft status

more year to increase your draft status

more year to increase your draft status in the NFL there are seven rounds of the

in the NFL there are seven rounds of the

in the NFL there are seven rounds of the draft roughly 254 players get drafted

draft roughly 254 players get drafted

draft roughly 254 players get drafted there are roughly 1.7 million college

there are roughly 1.7 million college

there are roughly 1.7 million college high school football players you're more

high school football players you're more

high school football players you're more likely to be struck by lightning than

likely to be struck by lightning than

likely to be struck by lightning than you are to be drafted in the National

you are to be drafted in the National

you are to be drafted in the National Football League and so David I committed

Football League and so David I committed

Football League and so David I committed and set a goal to going back to college

and set a goal to going back to college

and set a goal to going back to college um to increase my draft status true

um to increase my draft status true

um to increase my draft status true story David I put um I put a sheet of

story David I put um I put a sheet of

story David I put um I put a sheet of paper uh above my bed post and every

paper uh above my bed post and every

paper uh above my bed post and every morning I woke up I looked at it and

morning I woke up I looked at it and

morning I woke up I looked at it and every night before I went to sleep I

every night before I went to sleep I

every night before I went to sleep I looked at it and it just said the simple

looked at it and it just said the simple

looked at it and it just said the simple goal hey increase your draft status well

goal hey increase your draft status well

goal hey increase your draft status well David at the NFL combine running the

David at the NFL combine running the

David at the NFL combine running the 40-yard dash I hear Boom Boom Boom Boom

40-yard dash I hear Boom Boom Boom Boom

40-yard dash I hear Boom Boom Boom Boom David I think my heels were clicking so

David I think my heels were clicking so

David I think my heels were clicking so I keep running I hear Boom Boom Boom it

I keep running I hear Boom Boom Boom it

I keep running I hear Boom Boom Boom it was my quad being torn off of the bone I

was my quad being torn off of the bone I

was my quad being torn off of the bone I didn't end up getting drafted where I

didn't end up getting drafted where I

didn't end up getting drafted where I wanted to be drafted I fell to the sixth

wanted to be drafted I fell to the sixth

wanted to be drafted I fell to the sixth round of the NFL draft remember there

round of the NFL draft remember there

round of the NFL draft remember there are only seven drafts seven rounds and

are only seven drafts seven rounds and

are only seven drafts seven rounds and so David while sitting in IND ianapolis

so David while sitting in IND ianapolis

so David while sitting in IND ianapolis where the combine took place laying

where the combine took place laying

where the combine took place laying there on the ground with ice on my quad

there on the ground with ice on my quad

there on the ground with ice on my quad I committed to myself to never setting

I committed to myself to never setting

I committed to myself to never setting another goal because I realized in that

another goal because I realized in that

another goal because I realized in that moment I was doing much more damage to

moment I was doing much more damage to

moment I was doing much more damage to my self-esteem I did much more damage to

my self-esteem I did much more damage to

my self-esteem I did much more damage to my self-efficacy than I ever did good so

my self-efficacy than I ever did good so

my self-efficacy than I ever did good so it was in that moment that I stopped

it was in that moment that I stopped

it was in that moment that I stopped setting goals that's an amazing story so

setting goals that's an amazing story so

setting goals that's an amazing story so resolution to never set goals again we

resolution to never set goals again we

resolution to never set goals again we got it so so you're you're you're Pro

got it so so you're you're you're Pro

got it so so you're you're you're Pro resolutions that are anti-r

resolutions that are anti-r

resolutions that are anti-r olution I wanted Devils Advocate you a

olution I wanted Devils Advocate you a

olution I wanted Devils Advocate you a little bit I mean I think the the proide

little bit I mean I think the the proide

little bit I mean I think the the proide for New Year's resolutions this so

for New Year's resolutions this so

for New Year's resolutions this so called in Psychology this finding called

called in Psychology this finding called

called in Psychology this finding called The Fresh Start effect where we think of

The Fresh Start effect where we think of

The Fresh Start effect where we think of any kind of change new job new year new

any kind of change new job new year new

any kind of change new job new year new week can sometimes lead people to to

week can sometimes lead people to to

week can sometimes lead people to to start Behavior changes that said I think

start Behavior changes that said I think

start Behavior changes that said I think it's unclear if those things really

it's unclear if those things really

it's unclear if those things really really stick so we can talk about that

really stick so we can talk about that

really stick so we can talk about that but I I wanna I want to offer that maybe

but I I wanna I want to offer that maybe

but I I wanna I want to offer that maybe you made a bad goal because I used to

you made a bad goal because I used to

you made a bad goal because I used to make those kinds of bad goals I was an

make those kinds of bad goals I was an

make those kinds of bad goals I was an 800 meter Runner uh in college and every

800 meter Runner uh in college and every

800 meter Runner uh in college and every season every race I would have some

season every race I would have some

season every race I would have some stretch goal for the time that I wanted

stretch goal for the time that I wanted

stretch goal for the time that I wanted to run and for several years you know

to run and for several years you know

to run and for several years you know these were always stretch goals and so I

these were always stretch goals and so I

these were always stretch goals and so I would pass the Finish Line you know puke

would pass the Finish Line you know puke

would pass the Finish Line you know puke or catch your breath or whatever and

or catch your breath or whatever and

or catch your breath or whatever and then go look back at the clock and say

then go look back at the clock and say

then go look back at the clock and say did I make that time or or did I not and

did I make that time or or did I not and

did I make that time or or did I not and it just led me to be happy or sad and

it just led me to be happy or sad and

it just led me to be happy or sad and usually sad because those were stretch

usually sad because those were stretch

usually sad because those were stretch goals right and eventually I realized

goals right and eventually I realized

goals right and eventually I realized this wasn't doing anything for me

this wasn't doing anything for me

this wasn't doing anything for me actionable so I changed I got rid of

actionable so I changed I got rid of

actionable so I changed I got rid of those time goals and started setting

those time goals and started setting

those time goals and started setting goals for experiments so instead of

goals for experiments so instead of

goals for experiments so instead of saying I want to run X time it was next

saying I want to run X time it was next

saying I want to run X time it was next tribe moving hard with 300 meters to go

tribe moving hard with 300 meters to go

tribe moving hard with 300 meters to go and that that gave me something

and that that gave me something

and that that gave me something actionable so maybe that's not even a

actionable so maybe that's not even a

actionable so maybe that's not even a goal it's more of an experiment and as I

goal it's more of an experiment and as I

goal it's more of an experiment and as I was reading so I think I think the as I

was reading so I think I think the as I

was reading so I think I think the as I was reading some of the research about

was reading some of the research about

was reading some of the research about goal setting I me I think you know first

goal setting I me I think you know first

goal setting I me I think you know first I'd say it's an interesting place here

I'd say it's an interesting place here

I'd say it's an interesting place here in because in in kind of the mid 20th

in because in in kind of the mid 20th

in because in in kind of the mid 20th century psychologists felt that goals

century psychologists felt that goals

century psychologists felt that goals didn't matter at all that it was the

didn't matter at all that it was the

didn't matter at all that it was the only thing that motivated people's

only thing that motivated people's

only thing that motivated people's behavior was carrot and stick all

behavior was carrot and stick all

behavior was carrot and stick all external no internal and then that

external no internal and then that

external no internal and then that changed with goal setting Theory saying

changed with goal setting Theory saying

changed with goal setting Theory saying like no you know what you actually can

like no you know what you actually can

like no you know what you actually can set inter motivations and so now we're

set inter motivations and so now we're

set inter motivations and so now we're sort of being more fine grained about

sort of being more fine grained about

sort of being more fine grained about what works and what's not but I think

what works and what's not but I think

what works and what's not but I think one of the most important takeaways from

one of the most important takeaways from

one of the most important takeaways from that research is those goals or

that research is those goals or

that research is those goals or objectives or whatever you want to call

objectives or whatever you want to call

objectives or whatever you want to call them have to be really granular like

them have to be really granular like

them have to be really granular like they have to tell you something that you

they have to tell you something that you

they have to tell you something that you should do as opposed to being this kind

should do as opposed to being this kind

should do as opposed to being this kind of goal that's just uh either you're

of goal that's just uh either you're

of goal that's just uh either you're happy or sad at the end so question

happy or sad at the end so question

happy or sad at the end so question there's an operative word there you said

there's an operative word there you said

there's an operative word there you said stretch goals what's the word stretch

stretch goals what's the word stretch

stretch goals what's the word stretch mean that that prefaces before goals

mean that that prefaces before goals

mean that that prefaces before goals yeah I mean for me in this instance it

yeah I mean for me in this instance it

yeah I mean for me in this instance it meant things that were uh often didn't

meant things that were uh often didn't

meant things that were uh often didn't reflect um a reality of where I was in

reflect um a reality of where I was in

reflect um a reality of where I was in my training at that point and so it was

my training at that point and so it was

my training at that point and so it was something that I I didn't have a great

something that I I didn't have a great

something that I I didn't have a great chance of of making uh because I thought

chance of of making uh because I thought

chance of of making uh because I thought that was the way you were supposed to do

that was the way you were supposed to do

that was the way you were supposed to do it set these set these big goals and

it set these set these big goals and

it set these set these big goals and they were often vague and I think a lot

they were often vague and I think a lot

they were often vague and I think a lot of the reason that New Year's

of the reason that New Year's

of the reason that New Year's resolutions fail is because they tend to

resolutions fail is because they tend to

resolutions fail is because they tend to be very vague like it's just time to set

be very vague like it's just time to set

be very vague like it's just time to set some notion as opposed to setting

some notion as opposed to setting

some notion as opposed to setting something that gives you a behavior that

something that gives you a behavior that

something that gives you a behavior that you can try so I prefer to think of I I

you can try so I prefer to think of I I

you can try so I prefer to think of I I I use this I call this my my book of

I use this I call this my my book of

I use this I call this my my book of small experiments where at least every

small experiments where at least every

small experiments where at least every other month I have something I want to

other month I have something I want to

other month I have something I want to learn or try and I force myself into an

learn or try and I force myself into an

learn or try and I force myself into an experiment it's like here's a thing I am

experiment it's like here's a thing I am

experiment it's like here's a thing I am going to try and reflect done so I don't

going to try and reflect done so I don't

going to try and reflect done so I don't know if that's a goal or not but that's

know if that's a goal or not but that's

know if that's a goal or not but that's how I go about it what what do you if

how I go about it what what do you if

how I go about it what what do you if you don't do goals what do you replace

you don't do goals what do you replace

you don't do goals what do you replace goals with well it's twofold first I

goals with well it's twofold first I

goals with well it's twofold first I will answer the why I ultimately had the

will answer the why I ultimately had the

will answer the why I ultimately had the urge to replace goals because it's not

urge to replace goals because it's not

urge to replace goals because it's not that David goals have absolutely no

that David goals have absolutely no

that David goals have absolutely no value that's not what I'm suggesting

value that's not what I'm suggesting

value that's not what I'm suggesting what I am suggesting is that the damage

what I am suggesting is that the damage

what I am suggesting is that the damage and the side effect of goals outweighs

and the side effect of goals outweighs

and the side effect of goals outweighs the value of goals I believe that goals

the value of goals I believe that goals

the value of goals I believe that goals are like a prescription medication The

are like a prescription medication The

are like a prescription medication The Dilemma is the world which subscribed us

Dilemma is the world which subscribed us

Dilemma is the world which subscribed us the drug of goals did not tell us about

the drug of goals did not tell us about

the drug of goals did not tell us about the warning signs they did not tell us

the warning signs they did not tell us

the warning signs they did not tell us about the side effects I was drafted

about the side effects I was drafted

about the side effects I was drafted into the National Football League by the

into the National Football League by the

into the National Football League by the Cleveland Browns again I suggest you are

Cleveland Browns again I suggest you are

Cleveland Browns again I suggest you are more likely to be struck by lightning

more likely to be struck by lightning

more likely to be struck by lightning than you are to be drafted in the NFL

than you are to be drafted in the NFL

than you are to be drafted in the NFL one plus million people play high school

one plus million people play high school

one plus million people play high school football roughly 20 30 or 40 ,000 play

football roughly 20 30 or 40 ,000 play

football roughly 20 30 or 40 ,000 play college football and again 250 are

college football and again 250 are

college football and again 250 are drafted but David because I failed at

drafted but David because I failed at

drafted but David because I failed at that goal I don't reflect on being

that goal I don't reflect on being

that goal I don't reflect on being drafted positively I only look at the

drafted positively I only look at the

drafted positively I only look at the fact that I didn't achieve my goal thus

fact that I didn't achieve my goal thus

fact that I didn't achieve my goal thus my self efficacy was completely

my self efficacy was completely

my self efficacy was completely undermine thus my self-esteem was

undermine thus my self-esteem was

undermine thus my self-esteem was completely undermined so it's not to say

completely undermined so it's not to say

completely undermined so it's not to say that goals don't have value I think

that goals don't have value I think

that goals don't have value I think those watching right now maybe you set

those watching right now maybe you set

those watching right now maybe you set the goal of being married by 26 27 maybe

the goal of being married by 26 27 maybe

the goal of being married by 26 27 maybe you set the goal of having your first

you set the goal of having your first

you set the goal of having your first home by 30 maybe you set the goal of

home by 30 maybe you set the goal of

home by 30 maybe you set the goal of starting a family by 30 and maybe you

starting a family by 30 and maybe you

starting a family by 30 and maybe you haven't checked off any of those boxes

haven't checked off any of those boxes

haven't checked off any of those boxes so thus though you have a career you're

so thus though you have a career you're

so thus though you have a career you're happy with though you have an apartment

happy with though you have an apartment

happy with though you have an apartment or a townhouse that you're content with

or a townhouse that you're content with

or a townhouse that you're content with though you have so many good things

though you have so many good things

though you have so many good things going on in your life you can't think

going on in your life you can't think

going on in your life you can't think about them positively because the only

about them positively because the only

about them positively because the only thing you focus and fixate on is man but

thing you focus and fixate on is man but

thing you focus and fixate on is man but I didn't do this or I didn't do that or

I didn't do this or I didn't do that or

I didn't do this or I didn't do that or David I didn't do this and that is

David I didn't do this and that is

David I didn't do this and that is really I would suggest is the thesis

really I would suggest is the thesis

really I would suggest is the thesis statement of the Dilemma so I do instead

statement of the Dilemma so I do instead

statement of the Dilemma so I do instead simply put I I focus on an objective

simply put I I focus on an objective

simply put I I focus on an objective without limitations small difference in

without limitations small difference in

without limitations small difference in words but I think it has a major impact

words but I think it has a major impact

words but I think it has a major impact on our lives an objective is energy

on our lives an objective is energy

on our lives an objective is energy aimed in a direction a goal is an end

aimed in a direction a goal is an end

aimed in a direction a goal is an end towards which energy is aimed quite

towards which energy is aimed quite

towards which energy is aimed quite literally by definition so why in the

literally by definition so why in the

literally by definition so why in the world would I set a goal and start

world would I set a goal and start

world would I set a goal and start something with the end in mind as

something with the end in mind as

something with the end in mind as opposed to having an objective and

opposed to having an objective and

opposed to having an objective and simply putting my energy in a direction

simply putting my energy in a direction

simply putting my energy in a direction if I want want to live a healthier

if I want want to live a healthier

if I want want to live a healthier lifestyle I will put my energy into a

lifestyle I will put my energy into a

lifestyle I will put my energy into a healthier lifestyle as opposed to I want

healthier lifestyle as opposed to I want

healthier lifestyle as opposed to I want to lose 15 pounds in the first three

to lose 15 pounds in the first three

to lose 15 pounds in the first three months of the year so then when you lose

months of the year so then when you lose

months of the year so then when you lose eight pounds you're like dang it I

eight pounds you're like dang it I

eight pounds you're like dang it I failed I I want to read one book every

failed I I want to read one book every

failed I I want to read one book every three weeks or one book a month as

three weeks or one book a month as

three weeks or one book a month as opposed to I want to become a more Avid

opposed to I want to become a more Avid

opposed to I want to become a more Avid Reader I want to put my energy into

Reader I want to put my energy into

Reader I want to put my energy into becoming a more Avid Reader I want to

becoming a more Avid Reader I want to

becoming a more Avid Reader I want to challenge myself mentally I want to

challenge myself mentally I want to

challenge myself mentally I want to stimulate myself mentally when we draw

stimulate myself mentally when we draw

stimulate myself mentally when we draw these hard lines in the sand it only

these hard lines in the sand it only

these hard lines in the sand it only leaves us focusing on falling short of

leaves us focusing on falling short of

leaves us focusing on falling short of the line that we didn't cross which we

the line that we didn't cross which we

the line that we didn't cross which we said in the sand so I think you're

said in the sand so I think you're

said in the sand so I think you're you're getting more Behavior change how

you're getting more Behavior change how

you're getting more Behavior change how do we make proximate Behavior change on

do we make proximate Behavior change on

do we make proximate Behavior change on sort of a daily basis and and I think

sort of a daily basis and and I think

sort of a daily basis and and I think that gets it some of this research about

that gets it some of this research about

that gets it some of this research about like when do objective or goal or

like when do objective or goal or

like when do objective or goal or whatever you want to call it setting

whatever you want to call it setting

whatever you want to call it setting work when it really tells you what you

work when it really tells you what you

work when it really tells you what you should be doing in the morning that

should be doing in the morning that

should be doing in the morning that that's why I favor this approach of the

that's why I favor this approach of the

that's why I favor this approach of the book of small experiments where it's

book of small experiments where it's

book of small experiments where it's like when I was writing my last book and

like when I was writing my last book and

like when I was writing my last book and I wanted to experiment with a different

I wanted to experiment with a different

I wanted to experiment with a different kind of structure so well what's an

kind of structure so well what's an

kind of structure so well what's an experiment that can that can give me

experiment that can that can give me

experiment that can that can give me some of that and I took a said take a

some of that and I took a said take a

some of that and I took a said take a beginner's online fiction writing course

beginner's online fiction writing course

beginner's online fiction writing course specific action and in that course we

specific action and in that course we

specific action and in that course we had to write stories with uh only

had to write stories with uh only

had to write stories with uh only dialogue and stories with no dialogue

dialogue and stories with no dialogue

dialogue and stories with no dialogue and the story with no dialogue I was so

and the story with no dialogue I was so

and the story with no dialogue I was so much better at and it gave me all these

much better at and it gave me all these

much better at and it gave me all these new different ideas for structure so I

new different ideas for structure so I

new different ideas for structure so I didn't have a specific goal of like how

didn't have a specific goal of like how

didn't have a specific goal of like how do I want to write this next book but I

do I want to write this next book but I

do I want to write this next book but I was doing these experiments that I

was doing these experiments that I

was doing these experiments that I thought were sort of shortterm enough

thought were sort of shortterm enough

thought were sort of shortterm enough that that I'd have an opportunity to

that that I'd have an opportunity to

that that I'd have an opportunity to reflect on them because I think it's

reflect on them because I think it's

reflect on them because I think it's really

really

really really reflection is where a lot of the

really reflection is where a lot of the

really reflection is where a lot of the game is right so the kind of goals I set

game is right so the kind of goals I set

game is right so the kind of goals I set for the 800 and you set for the NFL

for the 800 and you set for the NFL

for the 800 and you set for the NFL draft are the kind where the reflection

draft are the kind where the reflection

draft are the kind where the reflection is very kind of binary like I made it or

is very kind of binary like I made it or

is very kind of binary like I made it or I didn't doesn't really teach you a lot

I didn't doesn't really teach you a lot

I didn't doesn't really teach you a lot about what to do whereas this in when I

about what to do whereas this in when I

about what to do whereas this in when I was writing my first book The Sports

was writing my first book The Sports

was writing my first book The Sports Gene I spent some time talking to a

Gene I spent some time talking to a

Gene I spent some time talking to a woman named Ry elfren gemer in the

woman named Ry elfren gemer in the

woman named Ry elfren gemer in the Netherlands who followed soccer players

Netherlands who followed soccer players

Netherlands who followed soccer players and football players and for for

and football players and for for

and football players and for for everyone who's not American um from the

everyone who's not American um from the

everyone who's not American um from the age of 12 and looking at what led some

age of 12 and looking at what led some

age of 12 and looking at what led some of them to become Elite and there were

of them to become Elite and there were

of them to become Elite and there were physiological characteristics like if a

physiological characteristics like if a

physiological characteristics like if a kid couldn't hit 7 meters a second in a

kid couldn't hit 7 meters a second in a

kid couldn't hit 7 meters a second in a Sprint like they weren't going to go to

Sprint like they weren't going to go to

Sprint like they weren't going to go to the top level at the same time there

the top level at the same time there

the top level at the same time there were behavioral traits where you'd see

were behavioral traits where you'd see

were behavioral traits where you'd see these kids she had video of them from 12

these kids she had video of them from 12

these kids she had video of them from 12 all the way up to some of them the

all the way up to some of them the

all the way up to some of them the national team where they would be going

national team where they would be going

national team where they would be going to a coach say you know what are we

to a coach say you know what are we

to a coach say you know what are we working on in this Dr I think my

working on in this Dr I think my

working on in this Dr I think my weakness is I think I need to work on

weakness is I think I need to work on

weakness is I think I need to work on this other thing like why are we doing

this other thing like why are we doing

this other thing like why are we doing this and they would take accountability

this and they would take accountability

this and they would take accountability for their learning called

for their learning called

for their learning called self-regulatory learning and what Mariah

self-regulatory learning and what Mariah

self-regulatory learning and what Mariah told me was there's you know thousands

told me was there's you know thousands

told me was there's you know thousands of pages of papers on self-reg learning

of pages of papers on self-reg learning

of pages of papers on self-reg learning but what a lot of it boils down to is

but what a lot of it boils down to is

but what a lot of it boils down to is reflection this Loop of identifying

reflection this Loop of identifying

reflection this Loop of identifying something you want to improve or change

something you want to improve or change

something you want to improve or change come up with a way to test that execute

come up with a way to test that execute

come up with a way to test that execute reflect on it and adjust going forward

reflect on it and adjust going forward

reflect on it and adjust going forward this sort of loop of experiments

this sort of loop of experiments

this sort of loop of experiments reflection reflection reflection I think

reflection reflection reflection I think

reflection reflection reflection I think a lot of our especially New Year's

a lot of our especially New Year's

a lot of our especially New Year's resolutions the reflection is just you

resolutions the reflection is just you

resolutions the reflection is just you missed it or you didn't and it's not

missed it or you didn't and it's not

missed it or you didn't and it's not really actionable reflection I'm curious

really actionable reflection I'm curious

really actionable reflection I'm curious if that fits or doesn't into kind of

if that fits or doesn't into kind of

if that fits or doesn't into kind of your framework I I think that absolutely

your framework I I think that absolutely

your framework I I think that absolutely fits the model that is a similar model I

fits the model that is a similar model I

fits the model that is a similar model I believe to um James clear Atomic habits

believe to um James clear Atomic habits

believe to um James clear Atomic habits he he focuses on the small steps he he

he he focuses on the small steps he he

he he focuses on the small steps he he he references focusing on the small

he references focusing on the small

he references focusing on the small steps the habits as opposed to hey you

steps the habits as opposed to hey you

steps the habits as opposed to hey you know what I need to do this and if I

know what I need to do this and if I

know what I need to do this and if I don't do this well then I didn't do

don't do this well then I didn't do

don't do this well then I didn't do anything to me I love what you're saying

anything to me I love what you're saying

anything to me I love what you're saying about experiments as opposed to goals

about experiments as opposed to goals

about experiments as opposed to goals when you were talking about running the

when you were talking about running the

when you were talking about running the 800 meters you mentioned at the start

800 meters you mentioned at the start

800 meters you mentioned at the start you said hey I want to focus on maybe

you said hey I want to focus on maybe

you said hey I want to focus on maybe kicking if the 300 meter mark That's

kicking if the 300 meter mark That's

kicking if the 300 meter mark That's focusing on energy that's focusing on

focusing on energy that's focusing on

focusing on energy that's focusing on hey let

hey let

hey let make a energetic and an actionable item

make a energetic and an actionable item

make a energetic and an actionable item as opposed to if I don't do this then

as opposed to if I don't do this then

as opposed to if I don't do this then what is the punishment and though there

what is the punishment and though there

what is the punishment and though there might not be a literal punishment there

might not be a literal punishment there

might not be a literal punishment there might not even be a worldly punishment I

might not even be a worldly punishment I

might not even be a worldly punishment I do think there is a psychological

do think there is a psychological

do think there is a psychological punishment and you know what David I'll

punishment and you know what David I'll

punishment and you know what David I'll take it even one step further and I

take it even one step further and I

take it even one step further and I would suggest and and I ended a previous

would suggest and and I ended a previous

would suggest and and I ended a previous conversation speaking on this with the

conversation speaking on this with the

conversation speaking on this with the goal you achieve it's the pen penalty

goal you achieve it's the pen penalty

goal you achieve it's the pen penalty you receive for setting a goal in the

you receive for setting a goal in the

you receive for setting a goal in the first place because say David you set a

first place because say David you set a

first place because say David you set a goal to lose 10 pounds in the first

goal to lose 10 pounds in the first

goal to lose 10 pounds in the first three months of the year and say you

three months of the year and say you

three months of the year and say you lose those 10 pounds in the first three

lose those 10 pounds in the first three

lose those 10 pounds in the first three months of the year what if you could

months of the year what if you could

months of the year what if you could have lost more say you actually set this

have lost more say you actually set this

have lost more say you actually set this goal and you think that this goal was

goal and you think that this goal was

goal and you think that this goal was the the the greatest most grandiose

the the the greatest most grandiose

the the the greatest most grandiose accomplishment of your life what if you

accomplishment of your life what if you

accomplishment of your life what if you actually could have done greater what if

actually could have done greater what if

actually could have done greater what if you actually could have gone further

you actually could have gone further

you actually could have gone further what if there actually was a greater

what if there actually was a greater

what if there actually was a greater level of success happiness famili IAL

level of success happiness famili IAL

level of success happiness famili IAL spiritual educational or monetary reward

spiritual educational or monetary reward

spiritual educational or monetary reward that was to be garnered but because you

that was to be garnered but because you

that was to be garnered but because you drew a line in the sand you were so

drew a line in the sand you were so

drew a line in the sand you were so fixated on that line that what if there

fixated on that line that what if there

fixated on that line that what if there was actually greater for you out there I

was actually greater for you out there I

was actually greater for you out there I suggest if I would have achieved the

suggest if I would have achieved the

suggest if I would have achieved the goal of being drafted earlier in the NFL

goal of being drafted earlier in the NFL

goal of being drafted earlier in the NFL I might have clung to an NFL career for

I might have clung to an NFL career for

I might have clung to an NFL career for longer instead of moving on and now I've

longer instead of moving on and now I've

longer instead of moving on and now I've written four books and and and done all

written four books and and and done all

written four books and and and done all the other things that I believe have

the other things that I believe have

the other things that I believe have added greater value not only to my life

added greater value not only to my life

added greater value not only to my life but hopefully have added G value to

but hopefully have added G value to

but hopefully have added G value to society and large what if you actually

society and large what if you actually

society and large what if you actually do achieve that goal you set David I

do achieve that goal you set David I

do achieve that goal you set David I would suggest that wasn't even

would suggest that wasn't even

would suggest that wasn't even potentially the greatest thing for your

potentially the greatest thing for your

potentially the greatest thing for your life I think you're getting at something

life I think you're getting at something

life I think you're getting at something profound that I saw you say in a in

profound that I saw you say in a in

profound that I saw you say in a in another interview I can't remember

another interview I can't remember

another interview I can't remember exactly which one it was but you talked

exactly which one it was but you talked

exactly which one it was but you talked about you know how a goal or an

about you know how a goal or an

about you know how a goal or an objective whatever we're calling it

objective whatever we're calling it

objective whatever we're calling it first of all I like your framing of

first of all I like your framing of

first of all I like your framing of goals as as medicine right because we

goals as as medicine right because we

goals as as medicine right because we don't often think of the the trade-off

don't often think of the the trade-off

don't often think of the the trade-off like what are the adverse side effects I

like what are the adverse side effects I

like what are the adverse side effects I really like that framing to kind of a us

really like that framing to kind of a us

really like that framing to kind of a us to what that might be I think you said

to what that might be I think you said

to what that might be I think you said you know some of these these things you

you know some of these these things you

you know some of these these things you try it should be a comma not a period

try it should be a comma not a period

try it should be a comma not a period yeah and I think that gets it some of

yeah and I think that gets it some of

yeah and I think that gets it some of the issue where you know it it reminds

the issue where you know it it reminds

the issue where you know it it reminds me again of of to bring in some of the

me again of of to bring in some of the

me again of of to bring in some of the psychology research you've got me

psychology research you've got me

psychology research you've got me thinking about this thing called the end

thinking about this thing called the end

thinking about this thing called the end of History illusion which is this

of History illusion which is this

of History illusion which is this finding that people you know if you ask

finding that people you know if you ask

finding that people you know if you ask have you learned a lot about what you

have you learned a lot about what you

have you learned a lot about what you want to do what your skills are Etc what

want to do what your skills are Etc what

want to do what your skills are Etc what motivates you everyone oh yeah yeah

motivates you everyone oh yeah yeah

motivates you everyone oh yeah yeah absolutely well do you think you'll

absolutely well do you think you'll

absolutely well do you think you'll you'll change a lot you know in your

you'll change a lot you know in your

you'll change a lot you know in your values and and those things that you

values and and those things that you

values and and those things that you believe going forward no now I'm pretty

believe going forward no now I'm pretty

believe going forward no now I'm pretty much now I'm pretty much finished and

much now I'm pretty much finished and

much now I'm pretty much finished and people always underestimate future

people always underestimate future

people always underestimate future change so the fastest time of change you

change so the fastest time of change you

change so the fastest time of change you know unsurprisingly is about 18 to 28

know unsurprisingly is about 18 to 28

know unsurprisingly is about 18 to 28 but it never stops and at every time

but it never stops and at every time

but it never stops and at every time point in life we underestimate future

point in life we underestimate future

point in life we underestimate future change some of this stuff is silly like

change some of this stuff is silly like

change some of this stuff is silly like you know you can look back at your old

you know you can look back at your old

you know you can look back at your old haircut and you know that like your uh

haircut and you know that like your uh

haircut and you know that like your uh you know your your feelings have changed

you know your your feelings have changed

you know your your feelings have changed about style but like people will say

about style but like people will say

about style but like people will say that you know they'll say that they're

that you know they'll say that they're

that you know they'll say that they're willing to pay a certain amount of money

willing to pay a certain amount of money

willing to pay a certain amount of money if they take their favorite band today

if they take their favorite band today

if they take their favorite band today I'm willing to pay x amount of money to

I'm willing to pay x amount of money to

I'm willing to pay x amount of money to see that band 10 years from now and then

see that band 10 years from now and then

see that band 10 years from now and then they're asked well how much would you

they're asked well how much would you

they're asked well how much would you pay to see today your favorite band from

pay to see today your favorite band from

pay to see today your favorite band from 10 years ago and it's like way way less

10 years ago and it's like way way less

10 years ago and it's like way way less because they underestimate how much

because they underestimate how much

because they underestimate how much their taste is going to change and so I

their taste is going to change and so I

their taste is going to change and so I wonder if some of what you're getting at

wonder if some of what you're getting at

wonder if some of what you're getting at and what I'm getting at is when we think

and what I'm getting at is when we think

and what I'm getting at is when we think of these goals as kind of a period

of these goals as kind of a period

of these goals as kind of a period you're not really being open to sort of

you're not really being open to sort of

you're not really being open to sort of the opportunistic pivots you're almost

the opportunistic pivots you're almost

the opportunistic pivots you're almost choosing a goal for a person you don't

choosing a goal for a person you don't

choosing a goal for a person you don't know yet yes change is so rapid I um

know yet yes change is so rapid I um

know yet yes change is so rapid I um Matthew mccon became a friend of mine

Matthew mccon became a friend of mine

Matthew mccon became a friend of mine over the last four years after covid and

over the last four years after covid and

over the last four years after covid and I asked him you know what he said this

I asked him you know what he said this

I asked him you know what he said this and then I asked him later about it but

and then I asked him later about it but

and then I asked him later about it but said it publicly I encourage you all

said it publicly I encourage you all

said it publicly I encourage you all after this conversation to Google it um

after this conversation to Google it um

after this conversation to Google it um after he won his Academy Award the ever

after he won his Academy Award the ever

after he won his Academy Award the ever Elusive and ever evasive Academy Award

Elusive and ever evasive Academy Award

Elusive and ever evasive Academy Award for best leading actor I believe he won

for best leading actor I believe he won

for best leading actor I believe he won in four he went up there on the stage

in four he went up there on the stage

in four he went up there on the stage holding this this Oscar Trophy and he

holding this this Oscar Trophy and he

holding this this Oscar Trophy and he said who is my hero speaking about a

said who is my hero speaking about a

said who is my hero speaking about a goal if you will and he said my

goal if you will and he said my

goal if you will and he said my hero is the 10 year from now version of

hero is the 10 year from now version of

hero is the 10 year from now version of me he said I'm constantly chasing the

me he said I'm constantly chasing the

me he said I'm constantly chasing the person I'm going to be 10 years from now

person I'm going to be 10 years from now

person I'm going to be 10 years from now and he said the beauty of that goal is

and he said the beauty of that goal is

and he said the beauty of that goal is you'll never catch it he said because

you'll never catch it he said because

you'll never catch it he said because I'm always adjusting I'm always moving

I'm always adjusting I'm always moving

I'm always adjusting I'm always moving I'm always changing I'm ever evasive he

I'm always changing I'm ever evasive he

I'm always changing I'm ever evasive he said so my hero is actually and my goal

said so my hero is actually and my goal

said so my hero is actually and my goal is actually 10 years ahead of me because

is actually 10 years ahead of me because

is actually 10 years ahead of me because I'm never going to catch that person

I'm never going to catch that person

I'm never going to catch that person because I'm always in this constant form

because I'm always in this constant form

because I'm always in this constant form of of shedding my outer shell and in a

of of shedding my outer shell and in a

of of shedding my outer shell and in a constant form of transformation and and

constant form of transformation and and

constant form of transformation and and I think David you've kind of hit the

I think David you've kind of hit the

I think David you've kind of hit the nail on the head in that goals at times

nail on the head in that goals at times

nail on the head in that goals at times and resolutions at times they put you in

and resolutions at times they put you in

and resolutions at times they put you in a box and they're too rigid they do not

a box and they're too rigid they do not

a box and they're too rigid they do not allow for elasticity they do not allow

allow for elasticity they do not allow

allow for elasticity they do not allow for you to actually uh mature into

for you to actually uh mature into

for you to actually uh mature into probably a better version of yourself

probably a better version of yourself

probably a better version of yourself because you're so fixated on chasing a

because you're so fixated on chasing a

because you're so fixated on chasing a goal that you set as a former version of

goal that you set as a former version of

goal that you set as a former version of yourself so again that's in the that's

yourself so again that's in the that's

yourself so again that's in the that's in the side effects panel about goals

in the side effects panel about goals

in the side effects panel about goals that we don't read where this is

that we don't read where this is

that we don't read where this is something you're not we not usually

something you're not we not usually

something you're not we not usually attuned to kind of especially let me

attuned to kind of especially let me

attuned to kind of especially let me share a story that you might find

share a story that you might find

share a story that you might find fascinating it's um my best friend we

fascinating it's um my best friend we

fascinating it's um my best friend we actually read your book Sports Gene I

actually read your book Sports Gene I

actually read your book Sports Gene I think maybe she read it sent it to me or

think maybe she read it sent it to me or

think maybe she read it sent it to me or or vice versa back in 2018 Olympic gold

or vice versa back in 2018 Olympic gold

or vice versa back in 2018 Olympic gold medalist in the Rio Olympics and here's

medalist in the Rio Olympics and here's

medalist in the Rio Olympics and here's a fascinating story because in order to

a fascinating story because in order to

a fascinating story because in order to go to the Olympics and the 100 meters or

go to the Olympics and the 100 meters or

go to the Olympics and the 100 meters or the 4x1 100 meters rather David you know

the 4x1 100 meters rather David you know

the 4x1 100 meters rather David you know this but for those watching who don't

this but for those watching who don't

this but for those watching who don't you need to finish top four at your

you need to finish top four at your

you need to finish top four at your country's trials your country's Olympic

country's trials your country's Olympic

country's trials your country's Olympic trials so at the USA Olympic trials uh

trials so at the USA Olympic trials uh

trials so at the USA Olympic trials uh uh my best friend she she finishes

uh my best friend she she finishes

uh my best friend she she finishes fourth at the Olympic trials and curious

fourth at the Olympic trials and curious

fourth at the Olympic trials and curious she ran the trial meet before we were as

she ran the trial meet before we were as

she ran the trial meet before we were as close curious I was like what was your

close curious I was like what was your

close curious I was like what was your mindset going into that race because

mindset going into that race because

mindset going into that race because David I'm fascinated and I'm I'm a

David I'm fascinated and I'm I'm a

David I'm fascinated and I'm I'm a curious person I said what was your

curious person I said what was your

curious person I said what was your mindset going into the most important

mindset going into the most important

mindset going into the most important race of your life and she said well the

race of your life and she said well the

race of your life and she said well the three women that I was running next to

three women that I was running next to

three women that I was running next to were all faster than me it was um Tiana

were all faster than me it was um Tiana

were all faster than me it was um Tiana balletta it was Tor buoy God Rest her

balletta it was Tor buoy God Rest her

balletta it was Tor buoy God Rest her soul and it was a woman named English

soul and it was a woman named English

soul and it was a woman named English Garner she said were all faster than me

Garner she said were all faster than me

Garner she said were all faster than me so my goal was to get fourth place and

so my goal was to get fourth place and

so my goal was to get fourth place and now David what place do you think she

now David what place do you think she

now David what place do you think she got she got fourth place and I was like

got she got fourth place and I was like

got she got fourth place and I was like I wonder what would have happened if

I wonder what would have happened if

I wonder what would have happened if either you didn't set a goal or you set

either you didn't set a goal or you set

either you didn't set a goal or you set a goal that could not have been improved

a goal that could not have been improved

a goal that could not have been improved thus first place I said the goal you

thus first place I said the goal you

thus first place I said the goal you achieved was a penalty you received for

achieved was a penalty you received for

achieved was a penalty you received for setting the goal you set a goal to get

setting the goal you set a goal to get

setting the goal you set a goal to get fourth place and getting fourth place is

fourth place and getting fourth place is

fourth place and getting fourth place is exactly what you did but there was third

exactly what you did but there was third

exactly what you did but there was third place there was second place and there

place there was second place and there

place there was second place and there was first place so I only wonder what

was first place so I only wonder what

was first place so I only wonder what would have happened if you would have

would have happened if you would have

would have happened if you would have set the goal of either getting first or

set the goal of either getting first or

set the goal of either getting first or what would have happened if you would

what would have happened if you would

what would have happened if you would have had an objective with no

have had an objective with no

have had an objective with no limitations if you would have set your

limitations if you would have set your

limitations if you would have set your energy into standing a top the podium

energy into standing a top the podium

energy into standing a top the podium what would have happened and I just

what would have happened and I just

what would have happened and I just think the goals put her in this instance

think the goals put her in this instance

think the goals put her in this instance inside of a box now ultimately if you

inside of a box now ultimately if you

inside of a box now ultimately if you finish top four you get to run on the 4X

finish top four you get to run on the 4X

finish top four you get to run on the 4X 100 meter relay because it's four people

100 meter relay because it's four people

100 meter relay because it's four people running that uh 400 running that one lap

running that uh 400 running that one lap

running that uh 400 running that one lap if you will so she was still able to go

if you will so she was still able to go

if you will so she was still able to go to the Rio Olympics and run the anchor

to the Rio Olympics and run the anchor

to the Rio Olympics and run the anchor leg and the preliminary round and finish

leg and the preliminary round and finish

leg and the preliminary round and finish with a gold medal but that was also

with a gold medal but that was also

with a gold medal but that was also confirmation David that like yo warning

confirmation David that like yo warning

confirmation David that like yo warning label read the warning signs if you set

label read the warning signs if you set

label read the warning signs if you set a goal you might just achieve that goal

a goal you might just achieve that goal

a goal you might just achieve that goal and what is that achievement actually

and what is that achievement actually

and what is that achievement actually costing you in the long term or is it

costing you in the long term or is it

costing you in the long term or is it costing you anything at all simply

costing you anything at all simply

costing you anything at all simply something to consider I love that we're

something to consider I love that we're

something to consider I love that we're kind of coalescing around this idea of

kind of coalescing around this idea of

kind of coalescing around this idea of rigidity and kind of the downsides of of

rigidity and kind of the downsides of of

rigidity and kind of the downsides of of making goals what would your sort of one

making goals what would your sort of one

making goals what would your sort of one piece of advice give because I think

piece of advice give because I think

piece of advice give because I think mine would be again that from the

mine would be again that from the

mine would be again that from the literature and self-regulatory learning

literature and self-regulatory learning

literature and self-regulatory learning we just do not reflect enough our our

we just do not reflect enough our our

we just do not reflect enough our our goals are often set too far in advance

goals are often set too far in advance

goals are often set too far in advance so they're they're too vague and not

so they're they're too vague and not

so they're they're too vague and not telling us kind of what our Behavior

telling us kind of what our Behavior

telling us kind of what our Behavior should be and so again I'm going to fog

should be and so again I'm going to fog

should be and so again I'm going to fog it the book of small experiments it's

it the book of small experiments it's

it the book of small experiments it's Alice curiouser and curiouser but gives

Alice curiouser and curiouser but gives

Alice curiouser and curiouser but gives you something these these reflection

you something these these reflection

you something these these reflection points so even if you did set New Year's

points so even if you did set New Year's

points so even if you did set New Year's resolutions you know I would argue that

resolutions you know I would argue that

resolutions you know I would argue that come March and someone I'm as economist

come March and someone I'm as economist

come March and someone I'm as economist Tim Harford was was uh I'm I'm taking

Tim Harford was was uh I'm I'm taking

Tim Harford was was uh I'm I'm taking some of his idea here come March it

some of his idea here come March it

some of his idea here come March it should be like reflection time because

should be like reflection time because

should be like reflection time because if you just leave it out and it's just I

if you just leave it out and it's just I

if you just leave it out and it's just I made it or I didn't you're not doing

made it or I didn't you're not doing

made it or I didn't you're not doing that really important part of what did I

that really important part of what did I

that really important part of what did I learn and how is that going to tell me

learn and how is that going to tell me

learn and how is that going to tell me to Pivot so that I think would be we do

to Pivot so that I think would be we do

to Pivot so that I think would be we do not do we think intuitively that we get

not do we think intuitively that we get

not do we think intuitively that we get all of the information about ourselves

all of the information about ourselves

all of the information about ourselves our interests and abilities from just

our interests and abilities from just

our interests and abilities from just going through an experience but I think

going through an experience but I think

going through an experience but I think it's pretty unequivocal that we don't do

it's pretty unequivocal that we don't do

it's pretty unequivocal that we don't do enough explicit refle reflection like

enough explicit refle reflection like

enough explicit refle reflection like you can even look at you know cardiac

you can even look at you know cardiac

you can even look at you know cardiac surgery teams there's some experiments

surgery teams there's some experiments

surgery teams there's some experiments where some will do a certain procedure

where some will do a certain procedure

where some will do a certain procedure 100% of a given time and others will do

100% of a given time and others will do

100% of a given time and others will do 80% procedures and 20% talking amongst

80% procedures and 20% talking amongst

80% procedures and 20% talking amongst themselves and reflecting and the errors

themselves and reflecting and the errors

themselves and reflecting and the errors will go down in the 8020 group more so I

will go down in the 8020 group more so I

will go down in the 8020 group more so I think reflection reflection reflection

think reflection reflection reflection

think reflection reflection reflection building it in explicitly would be my

building it in explicitly would be my

building it in explicitly would be my most important uh single piece of advice

most important uh single piece of advice

most important uh single piece of advice for goal setting because that's going to

for goal setting because that's going to

for goal setting because that's going to make you make more granular goals and

make you make more granular goals and

make you make more granular goals and take lessons in a much shorter duration

take lessons in a much shorter duration

take lessons in a much shorter duration D let me ask you a question here because

D let me ask you a question here because

D let me ask you a question here because I think part of this is the unhealth

I think part of this is the unhealth

I think part of this is the unhealth with goals in

with goals in

with goals in that of often times goals do not afford

that of often times goals do not afford

that of often times goals do not afford you the luxury of reflection

you the luxury of reflection

you the luxury of reflection meaning what's the benefit of reflection

meaning what's the benefit of reflection

meaning what's the benefit of reflection in that instance when I didn't get

in that instance when I didn't get

in that instance when I didn't get drafted where I wanted to get drafted in

drafted where I wanted to get drafted in

drafted where I wanted to get drafted in the NFL David reflection was not going

the NFL David reflection was not going

the NFL David reflection was not going to do me any good it's over it's done I

to do me any good it's over it's done I

to do me any good it's over it's done I lost about $3 million in that one day

lost about $3 million in that one day

lost about $3 million in that one day I've torn my quad there is not another

I've torn my quad there is not another

I've torn my quad there is not another NFL draft than I could submit to at the

NFL draft than I could submit to at the

NFL draft than I could submit to at the point in which I wanted to be married by

point in which I wanted to be married by

point in which I wanted to be married by 30 and I'm

30 and I'm

30 and I'm not 30 not coming back the next birthday

not 30 not coming back the next birthday

not 30 not coming back the next birthday 31 and the one after that is 32 I could

31 and the one after that is 32 I could

31 and the one after that is 32 I could reflect on hey is it me is it Society do

reflect on hey is it me is it Society do

reflect on hey is it me is it Society do I need to put myself out there more

I need to put myself out there more

I need to put myself out there more should I try dating gaps do I need to

should I try dating gaps do I need to

should I try dating gaps do I need to get this and that maybe I should spend

get this and that maybe I should spend

get this and that maybe I should spend more time with the grocery store go

more time with the grocery store go

more time with the grocery store go whatever the case may be but I do not

whatever the case may be but I do not

whatever the case may be but I do not know in today's ultra competitive

know in today's ultra competitive

know in today's ultra competitive Society David that goals and reflection

Society David that goals and reflection

Society David that goals and reflection are related because often times if you

are related because often times if you

are related because often times if you set a goal to hit this monetary Mark in

set a goal to hit this monetary Mark in

set a goal to hit this monetary Mark in your business and you don't hit it that

your business and you don't hit it that

your business and you don't hit it that fiscal year is over so yeah you could

fiscal year is over so yeah you could

fiscal year is over so yeah you could hit it next year but you missed it last

hit it next year but you missed it last

hit it next year but you missed it last year speak to that I don't know at least

year speak to that I don't know at least

year speak to that I don't know at least in my experience obviously though I was

in my experience obviously though I was

in my experience obviously though I was in in the athletic industry in the

in in the athletic industry in the

in in the athletic industry in the athletic industry it is a zero sum game

athletic industry it is a zero sum game

athletic industry it is a zero sum game yeah do you believe that goals and

yeah do you believe that goals and

yeah do you believe that goals and reflection are actually related because

reflection are actually related because

reflection are actually related because once you fail at that goal you have

once you fail at that goal you have

once you fail at that goal you have failed door closed on to the next yeah

failed door closed on to the next yeah

failed door closed on to the next yeah that's a great point I mean I think if

that's a great point I mean I think if

that's a great point I mean I think if the goal is too nebulous uh then you're

the goal is too nebulous uh then you're

the goal is too nebulous uh then you're not going to fix it with reflection so I

not going to fix it with reflection so I

not going to fix it with reflection so I think something that's a specific

think something that's a specific

think something that's a specific behavior that you can test you know in

behavior that you can test you know in

behavior that you can test you know in in experiment a an opportunity to Pivot

in experiment a an opportunity to Pivot

in experiment a an opportunity to Pivot and there was a question there was

and there was a question there was

and there was a question there was someone uh a question I think it was uh

someone uh a question I think it was uh

someone uh a question I think it was uh Shanta who asked how we can create goals

Shanta who asked how we can create goals

Shanta who asked how we can create goals that are flexible enough to adapt to

that are flexible enough to adapt to

that are flexible enough to adapt to unexpected changes but keep moving and

unexpected changes but keep moving and

unexpected changes but keep moving and being motivated and focused I think that

being motivated and focused I think that

being motivated and focused I think that gets to that balance of rigidity and

gets to that balance of rigidity and

gets to that balance of rigidity and flexibility where where think we should

flexibility where where think we should

flexibility where where think we should be setting those experiments right you

be setting those experiments right you

be setting those experiments right you have in in in my head like I'll have

have in in in my head like I'll have

have in in in my head like I'll have some some sort of vague goal it's just

some some sort of vague goal it's just

some some sort of vague goal it's just that that I can't help it but I don't

that that I can't help it but I don't

that that I can't help it but I don't know if that's gonna actually help me

know if that's gonna actually help me

know if that's gonna actually help me get to it and it's smaller here's what's

get to it and it's smaller here's what's

get to it and it's smaller here's what's interesting who asked that question

interesting who asked that question

interesting who asked that question David Shanta Shanta what's fascinating

David Shanta Shanta what's fascinating

David Shanta Shanta what's fascinating then David then I think we're just using

then David then I think we're just using

then David then I think we're just using the word goal because we're comfortable

the word goal because we're comfortable

the word goal because we're comfortable using it fair enough in the event that

using it fair enough in the event that

using it fair enough in the event that our goal is ever changing and our goal

our goal is ever changing and our goal

our goal is ever changing and our goal is extremely fluid and and our goal for

is extremely fluid and and our goal for

is extremely fluid and and our goal for the end of of the month could be to lose

the end of of the month could be to lose

the end of of the month could be to lose three pounds but now we ain't lost the

three pounds but now we ain't lost the

three pounds but now we ain't lost the three pound so now we're going to say

three pound so now we're going to say

three pound so now we're going to say you know what my goal is to lose one

you know what my goal is to lose one

you know what my goal is to lose one pound or now we ain't lost the three

pound or now we ain't lost the three

pound or now we ain't lost the three pound so you know let me lose three

pound so you know let me lose three

pound so you know let me lose three pounds by the end of three months that

pounds by the end of three months that

pounds by the end of three months that wasn't a goal now now it is you're doing

wasn't a goal now now it is you're doing

wasn't a goal now now it is you're doing what I would suggest which is just

what I would suggest which is just

what I would suggest which is just putting your energy in a direction goals

putting your energy in a direction goals

putting your energy in a direction goals are finite goals are lines in the sand

are finite goals are lines in the sand

are finite goals are lines in the sand goals are an end towards which energy is

goals are an end towards which energy is

goals are an end towards which energy is aimed so if you are and we are

aimed so if you are and we are

aimed so if you are and we are constantly adjusting our goals then

constantly adjusting our goals then

constantly adjusting our goals then we're only using the word goal and we're

we're only using the word goal and we're

we're only using the word goal and we're only using the word resolution and we're

only using the word resolution and we're

only using the word resolution and we're only using these words because Society

only using these words because Society

only using these words because Society has conditioned us to use this

has conditioned us to use this

has conditioned us to use this particular verbiage which I think we

particular verbiage which I think we

particular verbiage which I think we should toss out because it's not

should toss out because it's not

should toss out because it's not actually a goal if we are constantly

actually a goal if we are constantly

actually a goal if we are constantly modifying the behavior of said goal the

modifying the behavior of said goal the

modifying the behavior of said goal the moment we don't meet the goal fair I

moment we don't meet the goal fair I

moment we don't meet the goal fair I mean that's why my preferred language is

mean that's why my preferred language is

mean that's why my preferred language is experiment but what would you say for

experiment but what would you say for

experiment but what would you say for someone whose goal comes from some kind

someone whose goal comes from some kind

someone whose goal comes from some kind of performance goal you know from a or

of performance goal you know from a or

of performance goal you know from a or some higher up or something like that

some higher up or something like that

some higher up or something like that and then they're tasked with changing

and then they're tasked with changing

and then they're tasked with changing their behavior to meet it and they don't

their behavior to meet it and they don't

their behavior to meet it and they don't really have a choice great question so

really have a choice great question so

really have a choice great question so early on I said um goals do there is

early on I said um goals do there is

early on I said um goals do there is benefit to goals if there is no higher

benefit to goals if there is no higher

benefit to goals if there is no higher level of achievement then I do not have

level of achievement then I do not have

level of achievement then I do not have an issue with setting a goal for example

an issue with setting a goal for example

an issue with setting a goal for example let's use the track and field um analogy

let's use the track and field um analogy

let's use the track and field um analogy and I relay race the primary objective

and I relay race the primary objective

and I relay race the primary objective is to get the Baton around the track if

is to get the Baton around the track if

is to get the Baton around the track if you do not get the Baton around the

you do not get the Baton around the

you do not get the Baton around the track and if for some reason the Baton

track and if for some reason the Baton

track and if for some reason the Baton hits the ground and goes into the

hits the ground and goes into the

hits the ground and goes into the infield I will spare you all some of the

infield I will spare you all some of the

infield I will spare you all some of the more minute rules then you fail so

more minute rules then you fail so

more minute rules then you fail so because getting the Baton around the

because getting the Baton around the

because getting the Baton around the track is of the utmost importance and

track is of the utmost importance and

track is of the utmost importance and you can do nothing greater than getting

you can do nothing greater than getting

you can do nothing greater than getting the Baton around the track yes set the

the Baton around the track yes set the

the Baton around the track yes set the goal of getting the Baton around the

goal of getting the Baton around the

goal of getting the Baton around the track what I do not suggest doing is

track what I do not suggest doing is

track what I do not suggest doing is setting a time goal because a time can

setting a time goal because a time can

setting a time goal because a time can always be improved getting the Baton

always be improved getting the Baton

always be improved getting the Baton around the track is pass fail you can

around the track is pass fail you can

around the track is pass fail you can set a goal for that because there was no

set a goal for that because there was no

set a goal for that because there was no higher level of achievement so in the

higher level of achievement so in the

higher level of achievement so in the event you have um

event you have um

event you have um goals dictated by your boss if it's past

goals dictated by your boss if it's past

goals dictated by your boss if it's past fail by all means if you have to meet a

fail by all means if you have to meet a

fail by all means if you have to meet a deadline then heck yeah your goal better

deadline then heck yeah your goal better

deadline then heck yeah your goal better be to meet that deadline because if you

be to meet that deadline because if you

be to meet that deadline because if you do not meet that deadline you failed but

do not meet that deadline you failed but

do not meet that deadline you failed but SE selling goals like if you need to

SE selling goals like if you need to

SE selling goals like if you need to sell um for those that are in selling

sell um for those that are in selling

sell um for those that are in selling Industries if you want to sell x amount

Industries if you want to sell x amount

Industries if you want to sell x amount of units or x amount of

of units or x amount of

of units or x amount of that's when I suggest man you might have

that's when I suggest man you might have

that's when I suggest man you might have been able to sell more if you did not

been able to sell more if you did not

been able to sell more if you did not set a goal I would rather do what David

set a goal I would rather do what David

set a goal I would rather do what David you are suggesting with experiments what

you are suggesting with experiments what

you are suggesting with experiments what James Clear is suggesting and I would

James Clear is suggesting and I would

James Clear is suggesting and I would rather commit to actions daily not some

rather commit to actions daily not some

rather commit to actions daily not some sort of goal that cannot be improved but

sort of goal that cannot be improved but

sort of goal that cannot be improved but I would rather commit a goal that can be

I would rather commit a goal that can be

I would rather commit a goal that can be improved David I would rather commit to

improved David I would rather commit to

improved David I would rather commit to actions daily which are let me be more

actions daily which are let me be more

actions daily which are let me be more outgoing or let me be energetic on every

outgoing or let me be energetic on every

outgoing or let me be energetic on every call every sales call or let me start

call every sales call or let me start

call every sales call or let me start with a great greting and end with the

with a great greting and end with the

with a great greting and end with the greeting whatever the case may be I

greeting whatever the case may be I

greeting whatever the case may be I would rather commit to The Habit as

would rather commit to The Habit as

would rather commit to The Habit as opposed to the end I like those and I

opposed to the end I like those and I

opposed to the end I like those and I think just as semantics I would call

think just as semantics I would call

think just as semantics I would call those experiments I'm gonna open up the

those experiments I'm gonna open up the

those experiments I'm gonna open up the call like this and see how it goes yes

call like this and see how it goes yes

call like this and see how it goes yes and since you you know mentioning habits

and since you you know mentioning habits

and since you you know mentioning habits and and James CLE and you know Charles

and and James CLE and you know Charles

and and James CLE and you know Charles doig has written a lot about habits and

doig has written a lot about habits and

doig has written a lot about habits and and I want to bounce this idea off you

and I want to bounce this idea off you

and I want to bounce this idea off you because last year this is GNA sound

because last year this is GNA sound

because last year this is GNA sound funny but I was studying some of the

funny but I was studying some of the

funny but I was studying some of the rhetorical techniques of Martin Luther

rhetorical techniques of Martin Luther

rhetorical techniques of Martin Luther King Jr and and he uses certain sort of

King Jr and and he uses certain sort of

King Jr and and he uses certain sort of analogies and Frames really beautifully

analogies and Frames really beautifully

analogies and Frames really beautifully repeatedly and one of them is Odus vers

repeatedly and one of them is Odus vers

repeatedly and one of them is Odus vers Orpheus so Odus to uh prevent himself

Orpheus so Odus to uh prevent himself

Orpheus so Odus to uh prevent himself from from succumbing to the Beautiful

from from succumbing to the Beautiful

from from succumbing to the Beautiful song of the sirens had his had his

song of the sirens had his had his

song of the sirens had his had his Shipmates lash him to the Mast right so

Shipmates lash him to the Mast right so

Shipmates lash him to the Mast right so he restrained himself so it's an

he restrained himself so it's an

he restrained himself so it's an avoidance strategy whereas orus who was

avoidance strategy whereas orus who was

avoidance strategy whereas orus who was the this legendary musician when he

the this legendary musician when he

the this legendary musician when he faced the sirens he played his own

faced the sirens he played his own

faced the sirens he played his own beautiful music over them he's like I'm

beautiful music over them he's like I'm

beautiful music over them he's like I'm not going to restrain myself that

not going to restrain myself that

not going to restrain myself that doesn't work in the long run I mean

doesn't work in the long run I mean

doesn't work in the long run I mean again this is metaphorical not lashing

again this is metaphorical not lashing

again this is metaphorical not lashing to the mask I'm going to rep it with

to the mask I'm going to rep it with

to the mask I'm going to rep it with something better and king would use that

something better and king would use that

something better and king would use that to say you know we can't just go for

to say you know we can't just go for

to say you know we can't just go for these the the avoidance of hate we need

these the the avoidance of hate we need

these the the avoidance of hate we need to replace it with love and I think that

to replace it with love and I think that

to replace it with love and I think that really comports with some of the

really comports with some of the

really comports with some of the research that that approach goals are

research that that approach goals are

research that that approach goals are better than avoidance goals but people

better than avoidance goals but people

better than avoidance goals but people usually set the avoidance you know I'm

usually set the avoidance you know I'm

usually set the avoidance you know I'm not going to eat this or that thing and

not going to eat this or that thing and

not going to eat this or that thing and some of the that has to do with habits

some of the that has to do with habits

some of the that has to do with habits right and and to come to bring it back

right and and to come to bring it back

right and and to come to bring it back to

to

to habits as Charles doig sort of wrote

habits as Charles doig sort of wrote

habits as Charles doig sort of wrote about some of this and the Power of

about some of this and the Power of

about some of this and the Power of Habit that there's this sequence of a

Habit that there's this sequence of a

Habit that there's this sequence of a cue that sets you to do something a

cue that sets you to do something a

cue that sets you to do something a behavior that you then take and and a

behavior that you then take and and a

behavior that you then take and and a reward so say you're you know sitting at

reward so say you're you know sitting at

reward so say you're you know sitting at your desk uh you want to get up and you

your desk uh you want to get up and you

your desk uh you want to get up and you it's a certain time a day you go to the

it's a certain time a day you go to the

it's a certain time a day you go to the cafeteria you you eat a cookie and the

cafeteria you you eat a cookie and the

cafeteria you you eat a cookie and the reward you know is this sugar rush and

reward you know is this sugar rush and

reward you know is this sugar rush and and what he argued is let's not focus on

and what he argued is let's not focus on

and what he argued is let's not focus on changing the queue like trying to get

changing the queue like trying to get

changing the queue like trying to get rid of the cookie let's not focus on

rid of the cookie let's not focus on

rid of the cookie let's not focus on changing the reward let's try to change

changing the reward let's try to change

changing the reward let's try to change the behavior in the Middle based on what

the behavior in the Middle based on what

the behavior in the Middle based on what you think the reward really is so for

you think the reward really is so for

you think the reward really is so for him it was like actually I need a few

him it was like actually I need a few

him it was like actually I need a few minutes break and to socialize I don't

minutes break and to socialize I don't

minutes break and to socialize I don't need a cookie so the cookie still there

need a cookie so the cookie still there

need a cookie so the cookie still there the time of day is still the queue but

the time of day is still the queue but

the time of day is still the queue but he tried replacing that getting a cookie

he tried replacing that getting a cookie

he tried replacing that getting a cookie with going and talking with some of his

with going and talking with some of his

with going and talking with some of his colleagues instead and I think there's

colleagues instead and I think there's

colleagues instead and I think there's some wisdom in that that the queue can

some wisdom in that that the queue can

some wisdom in that that the queue can be very difficult to change depending on

be very difficult to change depending on

be very difficult to change depending on how much flexibility you have in your

how much flexibility you have in your

how much flexibility you have in your situation the reward not necessarily

situation the reward not necessarily

situation the reward not necessarily always sure what it is but you can try

always sure what it is but you can try

always sure what it is but you can try different behaviors to to replace

different behaviors to to replace

different behaviors to to replace instead of just restraining yourself

instead of just restraining yourself

instead of just restraining yourself what do you think about that that's one

what do you think about that that's one

what do you think about that that's one incredibly fascinating um I think that

incredibly fascinating um I think that

incredibly fascinating um I think that is tangential to an ENT extrinsic

is tangential to an ENT extrinsic

is tangential to an ENT extrinsic motivation right because the reward is

motivation right because the reward is

motivation right because the reward is extrinsic I I am doing this so that I

extrinsic I I am doing this so that I

extrinsic I I am doing this so that I can get said reward but one I always

can get said reward but one I always

can get said reward but one I always believe in changing from within the the

believe in changing from within the the

believe in changing from within the the outer shell of something is only a

outer shell of something is only a

outer shell of something is only a result of the inner shell of something

result of the inner shell of something

result of the inner shell of something it's only a result of what is from

it's only a result of what is from

it's only a result of what is from within it will inevitably flow outward I

within it will inevitably flow outward I

within it will inevitably flow outward I believe that truly if we want to see the

believe that truly if we want to see the

believe that truly if we want to see the changes that we desire to see in our

changes that we desire to see in our

changes that we desire to see in our life it has to come from within it

life it has to come from within it

life it has to come from within it cannot be oh well some sort of extrinsic

cannot be oh well some sort of extrinsic

cannot be oh well some sort of extrinsic motivation whether it's money um whether

motivation whether it's money um whether

motivation whether it's money um whether it's a shiny object at the end of the

it's a shiny object at the end of the

it's a shiny object at the end of the tunnel whether it's the pot of gold I

tunnel whether it's the pot of gold I

tunnel whether it's the pot of gold I believe it has to we have to get to the

believe it has to we have to get to the

believe it has to we have to get to the root of the why because the root of the

root of the why because the root of the

root of the why because the root of the why will dictate a motivation that will

why will dictate a motivation that will

why will dictate a motivation that will never run dry the root of the why will

never run dry the root of the why will

never run dry the root of the why will dictate a motivation that cannot be

dictate a motivation that cannot be

dictate a motivation that cannot be extinguished that will not be

extinguished that will not be

extinguished that will not be relinquished so I'm I I love that David

relinquished so I'm I I love that David

relinquished so I'm I I love that David because to me that's addressing the root

because to me that's addressing the root

because to me that's addressing the root of the why as opposed to Simply focusing

of the why as opposed to Simply focusing

of the why as opposed to Simply focusing on some sort of external motivation that

on some sort of external motivation that

on some sort of external motivation that inevitably will just stop caring about

inevitably will just stop caring about

inevitably will just stop caring about sooner than later I I think you're I

sooner than later I I think you're I

sooner than later I I think you're I think this dovetails well to some of the

think this dovetails well to some of the

think this dovetails well to some of the the user questions because some of the

the user questions because some of the

the user questions because some of the questions were a little more

questions were a little more

questions were a little more philosophical in bent so I think we

philosophical in bent so I think we

philosophical in bent so I think we should switch over to a few of those

should switch over to a few of those

should switch over to a few of those because I think you you naturally kind

because I think you you naturally kind

because I think you you naturally kind of went there one of the goals from

of went there one of the goals from

of went there one of the goals from fadwa was I mean sorry one of the

fadwa was I mean sorry one of the

fadwa was I mean sorry one of the questions from F was how can we balance

questions from F was how can we balance

questions from F was how can we balance ambition with well-being especially in a

ambition with well-being especially in a

ambition with well-being especially in a high pressure world and I kind of think

high pressure world and I kind of think

high pressure world and I kind of think I I have sort of an intellectual hero uh

I I have sort of an intellectual hero uh

I I have sort of an intellectual hero uh in that regard and a fun story like I I

in that regard and a fun story like I I

in that regard and a fun story like I I read my kindergarten or the Phantom toll

read my kindergarten or the Phantom toll

read my kindergarten or the Phantom toll booth if people know that book and

booth if people know that book and

booth if people know that book and there's a character called the senses

there's a character called the senses

there's a character called the senses taker you know it's a play on senses

taker you know it's a play on senses

taker you know it's a play on senses taker but senses Taker and his job is to

taker but senses Taker and his job is to

taker but senses Taker and his job is to help people find things they weren't

help people find things they weren't

help people find things they weren't looking for um and to me that is like in

looking for um and to me that is like in

looking for um and to me that is like in our algorithmic life it's never been

our algorithmic life it's never been

our algorithmic life it's never been easier to find things that you weren't

easier to find things that you weren't

easier to find things that you weren't looking for and to have Ambitions that

looking for and to have Ambitions that

looking for and to have Ambitions that really weren't yours and and kind of an

really weren't yours and and kind of an

really weren't yours and and kind of an someone who made a big impression on me

someone who made a big impression on me

someone who made a big impression on me an intellectual hero was Herbert Simon

an intellectual hero was Herbert Simon

an intellectual hero was Herbert Simon who was one of the founding fathers of

who was one of the founding fathers of

who was one of the founding fathers of AI one of the founders of cognitive

AI one of the founders of cognitive

AI one of the founders of cognitive psychology and one of his most powerful

psychology and one of his most powerful

psychology and one of his most powerful ideas was satisficing as opposed to

ideas was satisficing as opposed to

ideas was satisficing as opposed to maximizing so people often want to

maximizing so people often want to

maximizing so people often want to maximize they want to make the optimal

maximize they want to make the optimal

maximize they want to make the optimal decision meet the the perfect goal you

decision meet the the perfect goal you

decision meet the the perfect goal you know only the gold medal not the silver

know only the gold medal not the silver

know only the gold medal not the silver medal in their respective life he wasn't

medal in their respective life he wasn't

medal in their respective life he wasn't talking about uh sports but you can

talking about uh sports but you can

talking about uh sports but you can never really maximize because we have

never really maximize because we have

never really maximize because we have limited brain processing capacity you

limited brain processing capacity you

limited brain processing capacity you can't know the alternative possibilities

can't know the alternative possibilities

can't know the alternative possibilities you can't process enough information uh

you can't process enough information uh

you can't process enough information uh to compare all of those um you know

to compare all of those um you know

to compare all of those um you know brooms on Amazon and find out which is

brooms on Amazon and find out which is

brooms on Amazon and find out which is the best one and it turns out that the

the best one and it turns out that the

the best one and it turns out that the maximizing tendency is almost always a

maximizing tendency is almost always a

maximizing tendency is almost always a bad thing to be for psychological health

bad thing to be for psychological health

bad thing to be for psychological health and so Simon himself said he was a

and so Simon himself said he was a

and so Simon himself said he was a satisficer he would wear uh he had you

satisficer he would wear uh he had you

satisficer he would wear uh he had you know a certain pair of shoes he wore in

know a certain pair of shoes he wore in

know a certain pair of shoes he wore in one season and another in another season

one season and another in another season

one season and another in another season a certain hat then he'd only get one

a certain hat then he'd only get one

a certain hat then he'd only get one when it ran out because he wanted to

when it ran out because he wanted to

when it ran out because he wanted to save all of his cognitive bandwidth for

save all of his cognitive bandwidth for

save all of his cognitive bandwidth for his work where he really wanted to dive

his work where he really wanted to dive

his work where he really wanted to dive in in other areas he satisficed and you

in in other areas he satisficed and you

in in other areas he satisficed and you could almost accuse him of having you

could almost accuse him of having you

could almost accuse him of having you know low ambition if he hadn't won the

know low ambition if he hadn't won the

know low ambition if he hadn't won the Nobel Prize the Turing award and like

Nobel Prize the Turing award and like

Nobel Prize the Turing award and like the lifetime psychology Award right if

the lifetime psychology Award right if

the lifetime psychology Award right if not for his trophy case you might accuse

not for his trophy case you might accuse

not for his trophy case you might accuse him of having low ambition but I've kind

him of having low ambition but I've kind

him of having low ambition but I've kind of taken that and set areas in my life

of taken that and set areas in my life

of taken that and set areas in my life where I'm proactively going to satisfice

where I'm proactively going to satisfice

where I'm proactively going to satisfice and say this is good enough so when I'm

and say this is good enough so when I'm

and say this is good enough so when I'm writing a book for example it's got to

writing a book for example it's got to

writing a book for example it's got to be an eight n or 10 when I send out a

be an eight n or 10 when I send out a

be an eight n or 10 when I send out a newsletter you know if that's a six or a

newsletter you know if that's a six or a

newsletter you know if that's a six or a seven or a six and a half that's an okay

seven or a six and a half that's an okay

seven or a six and a half that's an okay place for that to occupy in my life and

place for that to occupy in my life and

place for that to occupy in my life and that was a very foreign idea to me uh so

that was a very foreign idea to me uh so

that was a very foreign idea to me uh so that idea of satisfy saying I really

that idea of satisfy saying I really

that idea of satisfy saying I really like is sort of a personal philosophy

like is sort of a personal philosophy

like is sort of a personal philosophy what what do you think of it because it

what what do you think of it because it

what what do you think of it because it can sound sort of like you're just

can sound sort of like you're just

can sound sort of like you're just good goals that's beautiful and I'm

good goals that's beautiful and I'm

good goals that's beautiful and I'm gonna steal that um I do not know who

gonna steal that um I do not know who

gonna steal that um I do not know who asked that question again that was uh

asked that question again that was uh

asked that question again that was uh fadwa fadwa I do not know fadwa if you

fadwa fadwa I do not know fadwa if you

fadwa fadwa I do not know fadwa if you can balance ambition with well-being um

can balance ambition with well-being um

can balance ambition with well-being um I went to the Paris Olympics this past

I went to the Paris Olympics this past

I went to the Paris Olympics this past year track is my first love though I

year track is my first love though I

year track is my first love though I played American football I went to the

played American football I went to the

played American football I went to the Paris Olympics this first year now what

Paris Olympics this first year now what

Paris Olympics this first year now what what I will challenge all of you all to

what I will challenge all of you all to

what I will challenge all of you all to do the next time you're watching a

do the next time you're watching a

do the next time you're watching a Olympic type of race or an Olympic

Olympic type of race or an Olympic

Olympic type of race or an Olympic caliber race look at the silver medal

caliber race look at the silver medal

caliber race look at the silver medal medist those that finish second versus

medist those that finish second versus

medist those that finish second versus the bronze medalists those that finish

the bronze medalists those that finish

the bronze medalists those that finish third the bronze medalists are often

third the bronze medalists are often

third the bronze medalists are often happier than the silver medalists now

happier than the silver medalists now

happier than the silver medalists now you ask yourself and they live

you ask yourself and they live

you ask yourself and they live longer why in the world and David you

longer why in the world and David you

longer why in the world and David you may have studied this or written about

may have studied this or written about

may have studied this or written about this maybe I'm taking it from you I do

this maybe I'm taking it from you I do

this maybe I'm taking it from you I do not recall why in the world are the

not recall why in the world are the

not recall why in the world are the bronze medalists happier than the silver

bronze medalists happier than the silver

bronze medalists happier than the silver medalists because the bronze medalists

medalists because the bronze medalists

medalists because the bronze medalists they're just happy to have made the

they're just happy to have made the

they're just happy to have made the podium and gotten a medal but the silver

podium and gotten a medal but the silver

podium and gotten a medal but the silver medalists they are upset that they did

medalists they are upset that they did

medalists they are upset that they did not get gold

not get gold

not get gold ambition gold medal well-being happy

ambition gold medal well-being happy

ambition gold medal well-being happy vers sad if you will to take the most

vers sad if you will to take the most

vers sad if you will to take the most basic form of that conversation one

basic form of that conversation one

basic form of that conversation one individual is so ambitious that they all

individual is so ambitious that they all

individual is so ambitious that they all wanted BR gold but because one got

wanted BR gold but because one got

wanted BR gold but because one got silver they're like dang it I could have

silver they're like dang it I could have

silver they're like dang it I could have got gold one got bronze and they're like

got gold one got bronze and they're like

got gold one got bronze and they're like man I could have got fourth and that to

man I could have got fourth and that to

man I could have got fourth and that to me is the tension and the dichotomy

me is the tension and the dichotomy

me is the tension and the dichotomy between ambition and well-being I wanted

between ambition and well-being I wanted

between ambition and well-being I wanted to be drafted in the first three rounds

to be drafted in the first three rounds

to be drafted in the first three rounds of the NFL draft

of the NFL draft

of the NFL draft I got drafted in the sixth round of the

I got drafted in the sixth round of the

I got drafted in the sixth round of the NFL draft so I'm sitting there out of

NFL draft so I'm sitting there out of

NFL draft so I'm sitting there out of seven rounds so I'm sitting there like

seven rounds so I'm sitting there like

seven rounds so I'm sitting there like man I should have got drafted higher but

man I should have got drafted higher but

man I should have got drafted higher but the undrafted player is like man I wish

the undrafted player is like man I wish

the undrafted player is like man I wish I would have got drafted or the player

I would have got drafted or the player

I would have got drafted or the player that got drafted in the seventh round is

that got drafted in the seventh round is

that got drafted in the seventh round is like who thank God I got drafted whereas

like who thank God I got drafted whereas

like who thank God I got drafted whereas I am like dang it I wish wish I would

I am like dang it I wish wish I would

I am like dang it I wish wish I would have got drafted higher ambition versus

have got drafted higher ambition versus

have got drafted higher ambition versus well-being I at least have not figured

well-being I at least have not figured

well-being I at least have not figured out how to navigate both of those from a

out how to navigate both of those from a

out how to navigate both of those from a micro sense properly macro sense zooming

micro sense properly macro sense zooming

micro sense properly macro sense zooming out at at the lens of my life sure I've

out at at the lens of my life sure I've

out at at the lens of my life sure I've done a lot of great things micro sense

done a lot of great things micro sense

done a lot of great things micro sense that silver medalist maybe two three

that silver medalist maybe two three

that silver medalist maybe two three four five years later they're happy they

four five years later they're happy they

four five years later they're happy they got a medal but in the a macro sense but

got a medal but in the a macro sense but

got a medal but in the a macro sense but in the micro H I don't know how you do

in the micro H I don't know how you do

in the micro H I don't know how you do it David I don't know how you do it they

it David I don't know how you do it they

it David I don't know how you do it they do in aggregate live shorter and it

do in aggregate live shorter and it

do in aggregate live shorter and it seems to be that sort of disappointment

seems to be that sort of disappointment

seems to be that sort of disappointment I mean I think you're kind of well first

I mean I think you're kind of well first

I mean I think you're kind of well first takeaway is obviously that you used to

takeaway is obviously that you used to

takeaway is obviously that you used to have good taste and then you switch from

have good taste and then you switch from

have good taste and then you switch from track to football but everyone barely

track to football but everyone barely

track to football but everyone barely even needs pointing out since it's so

even needs pointing out since it's so

even needs pointing out since it's so um but the the I think you're kind of

um but the the I think you're kind of

um but the the I think you're kind of giving a treatment of this of the sort

giving a treatment of this of the sort

giving a treatment of this of the sort of uh modern model of the brain is

of uh modern model of the brain is

of uh modern model of the brain is called predictive processing where it's

called predictive processing where it's

called predictive processing where it's like your happiness is going to be the

like your happiness is going to be the

like your happiness is going to be the difference between what you expected and

difference between what you expected and

difference between what you expected and what happened and the difficulty there

what happened and the difficulty there

what happened and the difficulty there is right exactly what you've been saying

is right exactly what you've been saying

is right exactly what you've been saying you set that certain goal like I think

you set that certain goal like I think

you set that certain goal like I think you should write the FDA warning for

you should write the FDA warning for

you should write the FDA warning for goals uh you know to get all the side

goals uh you know to get all the side

goals uh you know to get all the side effects down um the the the the

effects down um the the the the

effects down um the the the the difficulty there is you set you set a

difficulty there is you set you set a

difficulty there is you set you set a high goal you want to be ambitious you

high goal you want to be ambitious you

high goal you want to be ambitious you fall short you're really unhappy you

fall short you're really unhappy you

fall short you're really unhappy you don't want to set no goals right and so

don't want to set no goals right and so

don't want to set no goals right and so I think it it maybe comes back to that

I think it it maybe comes back to that

I think it it maybe comes back to that that idea of of not having too rigid

that idea of of not having too rigid

that idea of of not having too rigid goals and and trying to find goals that

goals and and trying to find goals that

goals and and trying to find goals that direct your energy as opposed to the

direct your energy as opposed to the

direct your energy as opposed to the ones that are just this endpoint where

ones that are just this endpoint where

ones that are just this endpoint where you're going to be happy or sad um

you're going to be happy or sad um

you're going to be happy or sad um whether you meet them so I I really like

whether you meet them so I I really like

whether you meet them so I I really like how you framed that um let me see the

how you framed that um let me see the

how you framed that um let me see the there's another uh uh great question

there's another uh uh great question

there's another uh uh great question here have you en from Alex Andra have

here have you en from Alex Andra have

here have you en from Alex Andra have you encountered situations in which

you encountered situations in which

you encountered situations in which you've questioned the perspectives

you've questioned the perspectives

you've questioned the perspectives you're sharing right now and if so what

you're sharing right now and if so what

you're sharing right now and if so what what do you

what do you

what do you believe happened in those moments that

believe happened in those moments that

believe happened in those moments that that sort of caused you to falter I'll

that sort of caused you to falter I'll

that sort of caused you to falter I'll just say I'm an inveterate uh

just say I'm an inveterate uh

just say I'm an inveterate uh flip-flopper like I would not make it in

flip-flopper like I would not make it in

flip-flopper like I would not make it in politics I flip-flop all the time

politics I flip-flop all the time

politics I flip-flop all the time because I think when we learn something

because I think when we learn something

because I think when we learn something we should we should update um our

we should we should update um our

we should we should update um our behaviors and I think has something

behaviors and I think has something

behaviors and I think has something changed I mean right now since we're

changed I mean right now since we're

changed I mean right now since we're sharing this perspective I wouldn't say

sharing this perspective I wouldn't say

sharing this perspective I wouldn't say between starting this talk and now that

between starting this talk and now that

between starting this talk and now that a perspective has changed but my

a perspective has changed but my

a perspective has changed but my perspective certainly changed about

perspective certainly changed about

perspective certainly changed about goals in general where like when I was a

goals in general where like when I was a

goals in general where like when I was a teenager I had all these long-term goals

teenager I had all these long-term goals

teenager I had all these long-term goals and and i' ended up doing none of those

and and i' ended up doing none of those

and and i' ended up doing none of those things and every project in my life that

things and every project in my life that

things and every project in my life that has mattered has been an opportunistic

has mattered has been an opportunistic

has mattered has been an opportunistic pivot to something I didn't expect um

pivot to something I didn't expect um

pivot to something I didn't expect um and so that's kind of kind of a way that

and so that's kind of kind of a way that

and so that's kind of kind of a way that my my perspective changed what about you

my my perspective changed what about you

my my perspective changed what about you uel um I believe in always evolving and

uel um I believe in always evolving and

uel um I believe in always evolving and always changing uh one of my favorite

always changing uh one of my favorite

always changing uh one of my favorite books um by Chuck closterman but what if

books um by Chuck closterman but what if

books um by Chuck closterman but what if we're wrong and so I'm constantly asking

we're wrong and so I'm constantly asking

we're wrong and so I'm constantly asking myself hey what if I am wrong about this

myself hey what if I am wrong about this

myself hey what if I am wrong about this what if I am wrong about that as it

what if I am wrong about that as it

what if I am wrong about that as it pertains to my lack of goals I think

pertains to my lack of goals I think

pertains to my lack of goals I think that an objective with no limitations it

that an objective with no limitations it

that an objective with no limitations it is the safest healthiest and most

is the safest healthiest and most

is the safest healthiest and most efficient way to operate again there is

efficient way to operate again there is

efficient way to operate again there is value in setting goals there's just a

value in setting goals there's just a

value in setting goals there's just a cost that I personally am no longer

cost that I personally am no longer

cost that I personally am no longer willing to pay I have also um lived a

willing to pay I have also um lived a

willing to pay I have also um lived a much more maximal Life by letting go of

much more maximal Life by letting go of

much more maximal Life by letting go of goals because I'm no longer stuck in

goals because I'm no longer stuck in

goals because I'm no longer stuck in this box I believe this question is from

this box I believe this question is from

this box I believe this question is from Alexander so Alexander I'm no longer

Alexander so Alexander I'm no longer

Alexander so Alexander I'm no longer stuck in this box now I have the freedom

stuck in this box now I have the freedom

stuck in this box now I have the freedom to create

to create

to create now okay sure I'll write music okay I'll

now okay sure I'll write music okay I'll

now okay sure I'll write music okay I'll I'll write animated shorts okay I'll

I'll write animated shorts okay I'll

I'll write animated shorts okay I'll write books okay I'll do Sports shows

write books okay I'll do Sports shows

write books okay I'll do Sports shows it's no longer like I have to play

it's no longer like I have to play

it's no longer like I have to play football and get drafted here um so I am

football and get drafted here um so I am

football and get drafted here um so I am constantly evolving but as it stands now

constantly evolving but as it stands now

constantly evolving but as it stands now um for me an objective with no

um for me an objective with no

um for me an objective with no limitations it gives me the room for the

limitations it gives me the room for the

limitations it gives me the room for the evolution that I need within this

evolution that I need within this

evolution that I need within this freedom of no limitations as opposed to

freedom of no limitations as opposed to

freedom of no limitations as opposed to what is finite in in the goals of it all

what is finite in in the goals of it all

what is finite in in the goals of it all related question to that from

related question to that from

related question to that from maximiliano who asked what's one belief

maximiliano who asked what's one belief

maximiliano who asked what's one belief about success that you've had to uh

about success that you've had to uh

about success that you've had to uh unlearn yourself and how's it changed

unlearn yourself and how's it changed

unlearn yourself and how's it changed your approach that one's easy to me I

your approach that one's easy to me I

your approach that one's easy to me I think that's the so-called arrival

think that's the so-called arrival

think that's the so-called arrival fallacy where I kept having this idea of

fallacy where I kept having this idea of

fallacy where I kept having this idea of I write a bestselling book if I you know

I write a bestselling book if I you know

I write a bestselling book if I you know make it to Nationals 800 all this stuff

make it to Nationals 800 all this stuff

make it to Nationals 800 all this stuff like then I will have arrived and then I

like then I will have arrived and then I

like then I will have arrived and then I can do all this other stuff about like

can do all this other stuff about like

can do all this other stuff about like trying to be a happy person and

trying to be a happy person and

trying to be a happy person and cultivate friendships and all this stuff

cultivate friendships and all this stuff

cultivate friendships and all this stuff because I just got to arrive at that

because I just got to arrive at that

because I just got to arrive at that thing and you never arrive like you do

thing and you never arrive like you do

thing and you never arrive like you do that thing and you're still you right

that thing and you're still you right

that thing and you're still you right it's like go to the top of Mount Everest

it's like go to the top of Mount Everest

it's like go to the top of Mount Everest you're still you or like I always think

you're still you or like I always think

you're still you or like I always think about it like you know these experiences

about it like you know these experiences

about it like you know these experiences can can change you of course but I think

can can change you of course but I think

can can change you of course but I think that idea that there'll be somewhere

that idea that there'll be somewhere

that idea that there'll be somewhere where you arrive you get into the right

where you arrive you get into the right

where you arrive you get into the right College uh you you get the promotion and

College uh you you get the promotion and

College uh you you get the promotion and suddenly all those things that were

suddenly all those things that were

suddenly all those things that were plugging you like now it's fine now I

plugging you like now it's fine now I

plugging you like now it's fine now I can relax or do the things I want to do

can relax or do the things I want to do

can relax or do the things I want to do I think that's just usually um uh not

I think that's just usually um uh not

I think that's just usually um uh not realistic and and not so helpful so I

realistic and and not so helpful so I

realistic and and not so helpful so I had to unlearn the arrival fallacy

had to unlearn the arrival fallacy

had to unlearn the arrival fallacy because I really had this idea that I

because I really had this idea that I

because I really had this idea that I would do certain things just get those

would do certain things just get those

would do certain things just get those off my plate and uh you know then I can

off my plate and uh you know then I can

off my plate and uh you know then I can focus on some of these other things I

focus on some of these other things I

focus on some of these other things I want to do but if you do something well

want to do but if you do something well

want to do but if you do something well your plate only gets more full and so at

your plate only gets more full and so at

your plate only gets more full and so at one point I had a uh you know I enlisted

one point I had a uh you know I enlisted

one point I had a uh you know I enlisted some help out a virtual assistant to

some help out a virtual assistant to

some help out a virtual assistant to sort of help me manage some of those

sort of help me manage some of those

sort of help me manage some of those things and I realized

things and I realized

things and I realized that that trying to be more productive

that that trying to be more productive

that that trying to be more productive in some of these opportunities I had was

in some of these opportunities I had was

in some of these opportunities I had was sort of a trap because I was the

sort of a trap because I was the

sort of a trap because I was the bottleneck like my brain was the

bottleneck like my brain was the

bottleneck like my brain was the bottleneck I could not get to all these

bottleneck I could not get to all these

bottleneck I could not get to all these things and and and having seeing knowing

things and and and having seeing knowing

things and and and having seeing knowing where they were like having an ABCD list

where they were like having an ABCD list

where they were like having an ABCD list for email was actually worse because if

for email was actually worse because if

for email was actually worse because if I saw them I felt like I needed to do it

I saw them I felt like I needed to do it

I saw them I felt like I needed to do it and so I I kind of got rid of that and

and so I I kind of got rid of that and

and so I I kind of got rid of that and and try to focus on sort of the most

and try to focus on sort of the most

and try to focus on sort of the most important things and don't look at email

important things and don't look at email

important things and don't look at email first thing in the morning because then

first thing in the morning because then

first thing in the morning because then it'll be hard for me to focus on on some

it'll be hard for me to focus on on some

it'll be hard for me to focus on on some of my most important projects but that

of my most important projects but that

of my most important projects but that sense that I'll arrive and you know and

sense that I'll arrive and you know and

sense that I'll arrive and you know and then everything will be good I think is

then everything will be good I think is

then everything will be good I think is uh just not realistic what do you think

uh just not realistic what do you think

uh just not realistic what do you think what's something you had to unlearn I

what's something you had to unlearn I

what's something you had to unlearn I mean obviously had this very dramatic

mean obviously had this very dramatic

mean obviously had this very dramatic story about goal settings no that's well

story about goal settings no that's well

story about goal settings no that's well said um I would suggest I I would

said um I would suggest I I would

said um I would suggest I I would suggest success is one of the most

suggest success is one of the most

suggest success is one of the most dangerous words in the English language

dangerous words in the English language

dangerous words in the English language I would suggest that because success can

I would suggest that because success can

I would suggest that because success can make you a

make you a

make you a prisoner I was having a conversation one

prisoner I was having a conversation one

prisoner I was having a conversation one time I'm getting a haircut my phone

time I'm getting a haircut my phone

time I'm getting a haircut my phone rings it's Oprah and she called me and

rings it's Oprah and she called me and

rings it's Oprah and she called me and she didn't really have anything to say

she didn't really have anything to say

she didn't really have anything to say and so I was like well you called me so

and so I was like well you called me so

and so I was like well you called me so now I'm just gonna take all the time

now I'm just gonna take all the time

now I'm just gonna take all the time that I can take we're talking for like

that I can take we're talking for like

that I can take we're talking for like 5502 minutes or something that's how

5502 minutes or something that's how

5502 minutes or something that's how long my haircuts take David I don't know

long my haircuts take David I don't know

long my haircuts take David I don't know why so we're talking for like 52 minutes

why so we're talking for like 52 minutes

why so we're talking for like 52 minutes and um we start talking about Michael

and um we start talking about Michael

and um we start talking about Michael Jackson because that was one of her

Jackson because that was one of her

Jackson because that was one of her greatest interviews it was the like

greatest interviews it was the like

greatest interviews it was the like highest watched non Super Bowl event of

highest watched non Super Bowl event of

highest watched non Super Bowl event of like the 1990s Michael Jackson sit down

like the 1990s Michael Jackson sit down

like the 1990s Michael Jackson sit down and Michael Jackson told her how forever

and Michael Jackson told her how forever

and Michael Jackson told her how forever he was trying to chase Thriller Thriller

he was trying to chase Thriller Thriller

he was trying to chase Thriller Thriller sold like 182 million copies worldwide

sold like 182 million copies worldwide

sold like 182 million copies worldwide one of the greatest hits of not even our

one of the greatest hits of not even our

one of the greatest hits of not even our generation one of the greatest hits in

generation one of the greatest hits in

generation one of the greatest hits in the history of the world and Michael

the history of the world and Michael

the history of the world and Michael Jackson was forever trying to chase

Jackson was forever trying to chase

Jackson was forever trying to chase Thriller and not being able to catch

Thriller and not being able to catch

Thriller and not being able to catch Thriller as it pertained to Global

Thriller as it pertained to Global

Thriller as it pertained to Global impact and sales weighed him down so I

impact and sales weighed him down so I

impact and sales weighed him down so I asked Oprah about that I said you did

asked Oprah about that I said you did

asked Oprah about that I said you did the Oprah Winfrey show but like there

the Oprah Winfrey show but like there

the Oprah Winfrey show but like there will be nothing greater than the Oprah

will be nothing greater than the Oprah

will be nothing greater than the Oprah Winfrey Show and she spoke on being

Winfrey Show and she spoke on being

Winfrey Show and she spoke on being significant more than being successful

significant more than being successful

significant more than being successful and so I subscribe to chasing

and so I subscribe to chasing

and so I subscribe to chasing significance over chasing success

significance over chasing success

significance over chasing success because once you chase success you will

because once you chase success you will

because once you chase success you will find yourself being a prisoner to that

find yourself being a prisoner to that

find yourself being a prisoner to that success David you write a bestselling

success David you write a bestselling

success David you write a bestselling book and then you're like well I got to

book and then you're like well I got to

book and then you're like well I got to write a number one New York Times

write a number one New York Times

write a number one New York Times bestselling book but then when you write

bestselling book but then when you write

bestselling book but then when you write a number one New York Times bestselling

a number one New York Times bestselling

a number one New York Times bestselling book now every book after that it better

book now every book after that it better

book now every book after that it better hit the New York Times list because if

hit the New York Times list because if

hit the New York Times list because if you don't hit the New York Times list

you don't hit the New York Times list

you don't hit the New York Times list then you're like dang that sucks I

then you're like dang that sucks I

then you're like dang that sucks I failed and I found

failed and I found

failed and I found myself a slave to success but as opposed

myself a slave to success but as opposed

myself a slave to success but as opposed to now if I put out a book did it make

to now if I put out a book did it make

to now if I put out a book did it make an impact was it significant it may not

an impact was it significant it may not

an impact was it significant it may not have made the New York Times bestsellers

have made the New York Times bestsellers

have made the New York Times bestsellers list but somebody came up to me in

list but somebody came up to me in

list but somebody came up to me in Austin with tears in their eyes because

Austin with tears in their eyes because

Austin with tears in their eyes because of that content saying how I had changed

of that content saying how I had changed

of that content saying how I had changed their husband's life if I come out with

their husband's life if I come out with

their husband's life if I come out with another episode of uncomfortable

another episode of uncomfortable

another episode of uncomfortable conversations it might not win an Emmy

conversations it might not win an Emmy

conversations it might not win an Emmy Award but someone might come up to me

Award but someone might come up to me

Award but someone might come up to me and say how they sat down with their

and say how they sat down with their

and say how they sat down with their kids and they watched it and it had an

kids and they watched it and it had an

kids and they watched it and it had an impact on the trajectory of their future

impact on the trajectory of their future

impact on the trajectory of their future success is a dangerous dangerous

success is a dangerous dangerous

success is a dangerous dangerous dangerous dangerous word and I used to

dangerous dangerous word and I used to

dangerous dangerous word and I used to be a prisoner of success but I found the

be a prisoner of success but I found the

be a prisoner of success but I found the key and now I'm trying to find a way to

key and now I'm trying to find a way to

key and now I'm trying to find a way to get all the way out success I don't

get all the way out success I don't

get all the way out success I don't subscribe to success that that one that

subscribe to success that that one that

subscribe to success that that one that word success David it has kept me up way

word success David it has kept me up way

word success David it has kept me up way too many hours of the night it's

too many hours of the night it's

too many hours of the night it's interesting because we're obviously

interesting because we're obviously

interesting because we're obviously coming from you know a fortunate vantage

coming from you know a fortunate vantage

coming from you know a fortunate vantage point in having accomplished some of

point in having accomplished some of

point in having accomplished some of these some of these kind of creative

these some of these kind of creative

these some of these kind of creative goals uh sorry creative objectives just

goals uh sorry creative objectives just

goals uh sorry creative objectives just done things that that where we've had

done things that that where we've had

done things that that where we've had freedom over some of the things that

freedom over some of the things that

freedom over some of the things that we've accomplished um and you know you

we've accomplished um and you know you

we've accomplished um and you know you hit a you hit a sort of nerve that sent

hit a you hit a sort of nerve that sent

hit a you hit a sort of nerve that sent like a bolt of of a fear through me

like a bolt of of a fear through me

like a bolt of of a fear through me about you say the next book has to be a

about you say the next book has to be a

about you say the next book has to be a a bestseller because I'm finishing up

a bestseller because I'm finishing up

a bestseller because I'm finishing up one right now and really feeling that

one right now and really feeling that

one right now and really feeling that pressure and the way I sort of tried to

pressure and the way I sort of tried to

pressure and the way I sort of tried to take some of that off myself was instead

take some of that off myself was instead

take some of that off myself was instead of viewing it as like I have to live up

of viewing it as like I have to live up

of viewing it as like I have to live up to the sales numbers of the last one

to the sales numbers of the last one

to the sales numbers of the last one which I fortunately was reasonably good

which I fortunately was reasonably good

which I fortunately was reasonably good at not tracking very well um uh you know

at not tracking very well um uh you know

at not tracking very well um uh you know it's like a you gotta lose your password

it's like a you gotta lose your password

it's like a you gotta lose your password sometimes um and I said my experiment

sometimes um and I said my experiment

sometimes um and I said my experiment this time is I've never written a book

this time is I've never written a book

this time is I've never written a book with an an external architecture that

with an an external architecture that

with an an external architecture that starts before I write the book so this

starts before I write the book so this

starts before I write the book so this sort of structure that I'll write to and

sort of structure that I'll write to and

sort of structure that I'll write to and so I I created one this time and it

so I I created one this time and it

so I I created one this time and it caused me to write in chronological

caused me to write in chronological

caused me to write in chronological order which I've never done so you know

order which I've never done so you know

order which I've never done so you know after more than a decade suddenly I have

after more than a decade suddenly I have

after more than a decade suddenly I have this new process and so I'm feeling

this new process and so I'm feeling

this new process and so I'm feeling anxious about it because it's not the

anxious about it because it's not the

anxious about it because it's not the formula I was used to and I wouldn't

formula I was used to and I wouldn't

formula I was used to and I wouldn't feel anxious about it if I didn't think

feel anxious about it if I didn't think

feel anxious about it if I didn't think it raised the chances of my failure

it raised the chances of my failure

it raised the chances of my failure compared to last books but I think my

compared to last books but I think my

compared to last books but I think my feeling again you know if I satisfy on

feeling again you know if I satisfy on

feeling again you know if I satisfy on the sales standpoint you know there

the sales standpoint you know there

the sales standpoint you know there there there's a there's a limit the

there there's a there's a limit the

there there's a there's a limit the experiment is something that I really

experiment is something that I really

experiment is something that I really really wanted to do that's meaningful to

really wanted to do that's meaningful to

really wanted to do that's meaningful to me to see if it's if it's a better kind

me to see if it's if it's a better kind

me to see if it's if it's a better kind of writing that I can do and if it fails

of writing that I can do and if it fails

of writing that I can do and if it fails I'm for sure going to be using that uh

I'm for sure going to be using that uh

I'm for sure going to be using that uh as as feedback if it turns out it fails

as as feedback if it turns out it fails

as as feedback if it turns out it fails but I'm feeling very anxious about it uh

but I'm feeling very anxious about it uh

but I'm feeling very anxious about it uh currently but I think David is tough

currently but I think David is tough

currently but I think David is tough because again transparently like sports

because again transparently like sports

because again transparently like sports Gene I believe was the first book of

Gene I believe was the first book of

Gene I believe was the first book of yours I read don't know if it's your

yours I read don't know if it's your

yours I read don't know if it's your first book first book of yours I read um

first book first book of yours I read um

first book first book of yours I read um was rain your second book yes yep so

was rain your second book yes yep so

was rain your second book yes yep so after I read sports genan I'm like David

after I read sports genan I'm like David

after I read sports genan I'm like David you set the bar High I'm quoting your

you set the bar High I'm quoting your

you set the bar High I'm quoting your work obviously I well not obviously I do

work obviously I well not obviously I do

work obviously I well not obviously I do a sports television show every day for

a sports television show every day for

a sports television show every day for two hours and so I need to fill a lot of

two hours and so I need to fill a lot of

two hours and so I need to fill a lot of content I'm getting into arguments with

content I'm getting into arguments with

content I'm getting into arguments with people about your your models of of

people about your your models of of

people about your your models of of Michael Phelps had the ideal swim body

Michael Phelps had the ideal swim body

Michael Phelps had the ideal swim body type and this athlete and and

type and this athlete and and

type and this athlete and and African-American individuals by often

African-American individuals by often

African-American individuals by often their their torsos are shorter whereas

their their torsos are shorter whereas

their their torsos are shorter whereas this people so I mean I'm I'm you set

this people so I mean I'm I'm you set

this people so I mean I'm I'm you set the bar high so now when I read range

the bar high so now when I read range

the bar high so now when I read range I'm like well it better be as good a

I'm like well it better be as good a

I'm like well it better be as good a sports Gene you know what I mean like

sports Gene you know what I mean like

sports Gene you know what I mean like that is the dilemma I believe of success

that is the dilemma I believe of success

that is the dilemma I believe of success and whether or not you cared about

and whether or not you cared about

and whether or not you cared about emanuel's opinion does not stop Emanuel

emanuel's opinion does not stop Emanuel

emanuel's opinion does not stop Emanuel from having an opinion whether or

from having an opinion whether or

from having an opinion whether or not like truly whether or not I care

not like truly whether or not I care

not like truly whether or not I care about sales does not stop sales from

about sales does not stop sales from

about sales does not stop sales from either occurring or not occurring I can

either occurring or not occurring I can

either occurring or not occurring I can try to limit myself from caring about

try to limit myself from caring about

try to limit myself from caring about success but somewhere someone is

success but somewhere someone is

success but somewhere someone is weighing my success based upon some

weighing my success based upon some

weighing my success based upon some Metric whether or not that metric is of

Metric whether or not that metric is of

Metric whether or not that metric is of importance to my life that's the

importance to my life that's the

importance to my life that's the question so so that gets a at a question

question so so that gets a at a question

question so so that gets a at a question from um cus I I apologize if I'm

from um cus I I apologize if I'm

from um cus I I apologize if I'm mispronouncing your name who asked what

mispronouncing your name who asked what

mispronouncing your name who asked what practical steps can we take to shift our

practical steps can we take to shift our

practical steps can we take to shift our Focus from external achievements to to

Focus from external achievements to to

Focus from external achievements to to internal fulfillment and I think that's

internal fulfillment and I think that's

internal fulfillment and I think that's tough you know in some ways I think

tough you know in some ways I think

tough you know in some ways I think that's maybe tougher than ever because

that's maybe tougher than ever because

that's maybe tougher than ever because boy are we living in a golden age of

boy are we living in a golden age of

boy are we living in a golden age of being shown things that you should

being shown things that you should

being shown things that you should desire that you didn't really desire

desire that you didn't really desire

desire that you didn't really desire right so I think I mean to me and I

right so I think I mean to me and I

right so I think I mean to me and I think this is a trend it started

think this is a trend it started

think this is a trend it started actually before like social Medan

actually before like social Medan

actually before like social Medan algorithms because you can look at these

algorithms because you can look at these

algorithms because you can look at these I think it was starting kind of in the

I think it was starting kind of in the

I think it was starting kind of in the late 60s these these surveys of young

late 60s these these surveys of young

late 60s these these surveys of young people in America on well not just young

people in America on well not just young

people in America on well not just young people but on locus of control which

people but on locus of control which

people but on locus of control which basically psychology speak for are you

basically psychology speak for are you

basically psychology speak for are you um are you kind of behaving in a way

um are you kind of behaving in a way

um are you kind of behaving in a way would you feel like you have control

would you feel like you have control

would you feel like you have control over your fate do you feel like you have

over your fate do you feel like you have

over your fate do you feel like you have agency or not and internal locus of

agency or not and internal locus of

agency or not and internal locus of control means you're you're being driven

control means you're you're being driven

control means you're you're being driven by things that you want to achieve

by things that you want to achieve

by things that you want to achieve things that that you want to try

things that that you want to try

things that that you want to try external locus of control is you know x

external locus of control is you know x

external locus of control is you know x amount of money things that are less in

amount of money things that are less in

amount of money things that are less in your control not that they have no

your control not that they have no

your control not that they have no control but less in your control and and

control but less in your control and and

control but less in your control and and the people shifted from internal to

the people shifted from internal to

the people shifted from internal to external locus of control like very

external locus of control like very

external locus of control like very steadily over time and so we're much

steadily over time and so we're much

steadily over time and so we're much more externally motivated now and I

more externally motivated now and I

more externally motivated now and I think some of that just has to do with

think some of that just has to do with

think some of that just has to do with it's so much easier to have fomo because

it's so much easier to have fomo because

it's so much easier to have fomo because of all the stuff we see so I feel like

of all the stuff we see so I feel like

of all the stuff we see so I feel like you know like when I remember when there

you know like when I remember when there

you know like when I remember when there was some talk about like Mark Zuckerberg

was some talk about like Mark Zuckerberg

was some talk about like Mark Zuckerberg talking about the metaverse and he's

talking about the metaverse and he's

talking about the metaverse and he's like we can all have like our own

like we can all have like our own

like we can all have like our own individual world and I'm like oh man so

individual world and I'm like oh man so

individual world and I'm like oh man so we can all like optimize all that sounds

we can all like optimize all that sounds

we can all like optimize all that sounds terrible to me like I want some embodi

terrible to me like I want some embodi

terrible to me like I want some embodi experience including with strangers

experience including with strangers

experience including with strangers where I'm not thinking about all the

where I'm not thinking about all the

where I'm not thinking about all the things that I'm that I'm missing on the

things that I'm that I'm missing on the

things that I'm that I'm missing on the internet so actually one of my current

internet so actually one of my current

internet so actually one of my current experiments was this year I want more

experiments was this year I want more

experiments was this year I want more because writing can be very solitary I

because writing can be very solitary I

because writing can be very solitary I want more embodied experience with

want more embodied experience with

want more embodied experience with strangers so dance class with strangers

strangers so dance class with strangers

strangers so dance class with strangers so ju just started just took the first

so ju just started just took the first

so ju just started just took the first one and that was something that's

one and that was something that's

one and that was something that's important to me that I realized I was

important to me that I realized I was

important to me that I realized I was missing out on but sometimes also I

missing out on but sometimes also I

missing out on but sometimes also I think you just got to turn off the

think you just got to turn off the

think you just got to turn off the algorithm and just like maybe take

algorithm and just like maybe take

algorithm and just like maybe take social media off your phone for brief

social media off your phone for brief

social media off your phone for brief periods and then you can put it back the

periods and then you can put it back the

periods and then you can put it back the dance class salsa hip hop Waltz ballet

dance class salsa hip hop Waltz ballet

dance class salsa hip hop Waltz ballet Shuffle you know so I'm the book I'm

Shuffle you know so I'm the book I'm

Shuffle you know so I'm the book I'm working on is about how constraints can

working on is about how constraints can

working on is about how constraints can be useful actually maybe we should Dove

be useful actually maybe we should Dove

be useful actually maybe we should Dove tail to that and talk about what we're

tail to that and talk about what we're

tail to that and talk about what we're working on now because we only have a

working on now because we only have a

working on now because we only have a few minutes left so I'm I'm finishing up

few minutes left so I'm I'm finishing up

few minutes left so I'm I'm finishing up a book about how constraints can be

a book about how constraints can be

a book about how constraints can be useful instead of just limiting from the

useful instead of just limiting from the

useful instead of just limiting from the form of a haiku why does it prompt

form of a haiku why does it prompt

form of a haiku why does it prompt creativity rather than squelch it to

creativity rather than squelch it to

creativity rather than squelch it to technological innovation to um the the

technological innovation to um the the

technological innovation to um the the structures in society that made

structures in society that made

structures in society that made strangers behaviors more predictable so

strangers behaviors more predictable so

strangers behaviors more predictable so that we could we could trade with people

that we could we could trade with people

that we could we could trade with people that weren't our kin or our friends and

that weren't our kin or our friends and

that weren't our kin or our friends and I got interested in this kind of dancing

I got interested in this kind of dancing

I got interested in this kind of dancing because it was invented in I saw a

because it was invented in I saw a

because it was invented in I saw a documentary about it it was invented in

documentary about it it was invented in

documentary about it it was invented in clubs in Melbourne that were really

clubs in Melbourne that were really

clubs in Melbourne that were really crowded and people wanted to be able to

crowded and people wanted to be able to

crowded and people wanted to be able to move and do a lot of things in a very

move and do a lot of things in a very

move and do a lot of things in a very confined space so they had to come up

confined space so they had to come up

confined space so they had to come up with these moves so it kind of

with these moves so it kind of

with these moves so it kind of dovetailed with my interest and

dovetailed with my interest and

dovetailed with my interest and constraints so so Shuffle that's I like

constraints so so Shuffle that's I like

constraints so so Shuffle that's I like that I like that um I guess right now

that I like that um I guess right now

that I like that um I guess right now if obviously we're running out of time I

if obviously we're running out of time I

if obviously we're running out of time I think I'll leave with two thoughts I'll

think I'll leave with two thoughts I'll

think I'll leave with two thoughts I'll leave with the thought of one really

leave with the thought of one really

leave with the thought of one really hammering something that I haven't

hammering something that I haven't

hammering something that I haven't suggested yet which is if the focus for

suggested yet which is if the focus for

suggested yet which is if the focus for me and if what I'm submitting to

me and if what I'm submitting to

me and if what I'm submitting to everybody is to have an objective

everybody is to have an objective

everybody is to have an objective instead of a goal then I'll leave you by

instead of a goal then I'll leave you by

instead of a goal then I'll leave you by saying your objective it should be

saying your objective it should be

saying your objective it should be subjective and it should be subject to

subjective and it should be subject to

subjective and it should be subject to people's interpretation simply put right

people's interpretation simply put right

people's interpretation simply put right now I want to be considered David one of

now I want to be considered David one of

now I want to be considered David one of the most creative people the industry

the most creative people the industry

the most creative people the industry has ever seen that is how I navigate my

has ever seen that is how I navigate my

has ever seen that is how I navigate my life my objective being one of the most

life my objective being one of the most

life my objective being one of the most creative people one of the most creative

creative people one of the most creative

creative people one of the most creative people the industry has ever seen it is

people the industry has ever seen it is

people the industry has ever seen it is subjective it's subject to people's

subjective it's subject to people's

subjective it's subject to people's interpretation David might be like wow

interpretation David might be like wow

interpretation David might be like wow Emanuel acho is very creative others

Emanuel acho is very creative others

Emanuel acho is very creative others might be like nah it's not for me

might be like nah it's not for me

might be like nah it's not for me whereas a goal is finite and everybody

whereas a goal is finite and everybody

whereas a goal is finite and everybody can say you passed or you failed my

can say you passed or you failed my

can say you passed or you failed my objective is now it's subjective thus

objective is now it's subjective thus

objective is now it's subjective thus there is no way for someone to say that

there is no way for someone to say that

there is no way for someone to say that I failed it is simply hey it's subject

I failed it is simply hey it's subject

I failed it is simply hey it's subject to to your

to to your

to to your interpretation um as for kind of current

interpretation um as for kind of current

interpretation um as for kind of current works man I'm I'm constantly creating um

works man I'm I'm constantly creating um

works man I'm I'm constantly creating um I because I am chasing being a creative

I because I am chasing being a creative

I because I am chasing being a creative um my next book will likely be a book

um my next book will likely be a book

um my next book will likely be a book about grief an uncomfortable

about grief an uncomfortable

about grief an uncomfortable conversation about grief I want to move

conversation about grief I want to move

conversation about grief I want to move into that space as I continue to

into that space as I continue to

into that space as I continue to navigate aspects of mental health I

navigate aspects of mental health I

navigate aspects of mental health I think I'm I'm also currently just

think I'm I'm also currently just

think I'm I'm also currently just working on different types of creation

working on different types of creation

working on different types of creation I'm working on different types of songs

I'm working on different types of songs

I'm working on different types of songs and different types of animated shorts

and different types of animated shorts

and different types of animated shorts I'm working on continuing to put content

I'm working on continuing to put content

I'm working on continuing to put content into the world because if my objective

into the world because if my objective

into the world because if my objective is to be one of the most creative people

is to be one of the most creative people

is to be one of the most creative people the industry has ever seen not only must

the industry has ever seen not only must

the industry has ever seen not only must I create but I must also create a wide

I create but I must also create a wide

I create but I must also create a wide variety of things

variety of things

variety of things to both please my desires and hopefully

to both please my desires and hopefully

to both please my desires and hopefully um satiate some mental appetites in

um satiate some mental appetites in

um satiate some mental appetites in society I love it last thing we're going

society I love it last thing we're going

society I love it last thing we're going to do lightning round two sentences each

to do lightning round two sentences each

to do lightning round two sentences each the two tips you'd most leave people

the two tips you'd most leave people

the two tips you'd most leave people with mine are book of small experiments

with mine are book of small experiments

with mine are book of small experiments you know for yourself and and for a kid

you know for yourself and and for a kid

you know for yourself and and for a kid like I take it to my kid I I you know I

like I take it to my kid I I you know I

like I take it to my kid I I you know I don't tell him what to do but when he

don't tell him what to do but when he

don't tell him what to do but when he does something I try to heighten the

does something I try to heighten the

does something I try to heighten the reflection the amount he learns from

reflection the amount he learns from

reflection the amount he learns from having done that thing you know what

having done that thing you know what

having done that thing you know what worked what didn't what did you like and

worked what didn't what did you like and

worked what didn't what did you like and second one pick spots in your life to

second one pick spots in your life to

second one pick spots in your life to satisfy make it a practice you don't

satisfy make it a practice you don't

satisfy make it a practice you don't need to maximize everywhere some people

need to maximize everywhere some people

need to maximize everywhere some people do that naturally but but a lot of us

do that naturally but but a lot of us

do that naturally but but a lot of us could I think be more productive if we

could I think be more productive if we

could I think be more productive if we picked the spots where it's okay to

picked the spots where it's okay to

picked the spots where it's okay to satisfice satisfy since maximizing for a

satisfice satisfy since maximizing for a

satisfice satisfy since maximizing for a finite individual is limited anyway I

finite individual is limited anyway I

finite individual is limited anyway I love that I will share something I heard

love that I will share something I heard

love that I will share something I heard most recently um focus more on how your

most recently um focus more on how your

most recently um focus more on how your life feels to you than how it looks to

life feels to you than how it looks to

life feels to you than how it looks to other people I think that suffices the

other people I think that suffices the

other people I think that suffices the entirety of the conversation we're

entirety of the conversation we're

entirety of the conversation we're having if your goals are extrinsic then

having if your goals are extrinsic then

having if your goals are extrinsic then often times it can be about how it feel

often times it can be about how it feel

often times it can be about how it feel how it looks to other people than how it

how it looks to other people than how it

how it looks to other people than how it feels to you focus more on how your life

feels to you focus more on how your life

feels to you focus more on how your life feels to you than how your life looks to

feels to you than how your life looks to

feels to you than how your life looks to other people and

other people and

other people and lastly I would suggest be the change you

lastly I would suggest be the change you

lastly I would suggest be the change you want to see be the change you want to

want to see be the change you want to

want to see be the change you want to see rather than kind of doing the change

see rather than kind of doing the change

see rather than kind of doing the change that you want to see quite literally be

that you want to see quite literally be

that you want to see quite literally be the change um David I've never drank a

the change um David I've never drank a

the change um David I've never drank a day in my life I don't have an issue

day in my life I don't have an issue

day in my life I don't have an issue with people that do drink I just don't

with people that do drink I just don't

with people that do drink I just don't drink when a bartender comes up to me

drink when a bartender comes up to me

drink when a bartender comes up to me and says hey would you like to drink I'm

and says hey would you like to drink I'm

and says hey would you like to drink I'm like no I don't drink not I'm not

like no I don't drink not I'm not

like no I don't drink not I'm not drinking I don't drink and so those that

drinking I don't drink and so those that

drinking I don't drink and so those that are setting these goals or objectives or

are setting these goals or objectives or

are setting these goals or objectives or experiments whatever the case it may be

experiments whatever the case it may be

experiments whatever the case it may be be that don't just do that be that

be that don't just do that be that

be that don't just do that be that because there is a difference so you

because there is a difference so you

because there is a difference so you were sober when you switched from track

were sober when you switched from track

were sober when you switched from track to football which is

to football which is

to football which is surprising know to each their own um

surprising know to each their own um

surprising know to each their own um thanks for the great questions really

thanks for the great questions really

thanks for the great questions really enjoyed the mandor questions sorry if we

enjoyed the mandor questions sorry if we

enjoyed the mandor questions sorry if we didn't get to to all of them thank you

didn't get to to all of them thank you

didn't get to to all of them thank you all

all

all [Music]