pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway,
poured coffee grinds on my head
as I dressed for a job interview,
I never once thought of myself as a battered wife.
Instead, I was a very strong woman
in love with a deeply troubled man,
and I was the only person on Earth
who could help Conor face his demons.
The other question everybody asks is,
why doesn't she just leave?
Why didn't I walk out? I could have left any time.
To me, this is the saddest and most painful question that people ask,
because we victims know something you usually don't:
It's incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser.
Because the final step in the domestic violence pattern
is kill her.
Over 70 percent of domestic violence murders
happen after the victim has ended the relationship,
after she's gotten out,
because then the abuser has nothing left to lose.
Other outcomes include long-term stalking,