meant so much to him.
If you had told me
that this smart, funny, sensitive man who adored me
would one day dictate whether or not I wore makeup,
how short my skirts were,
where I lived, what jobs I took,
who my friends were and where I spent Christmas,
I would have laughed at you,
because there was not a hint of violence or control
or anger in Conor at the beginning.
I didn't know that the first stage
in any domestic violence relationship
is to seduce and charm the victim.
I also didn't know that the second step is to isolate the victim.
Now, Conor did not come home one day and announce,
"You know, hey, all this Romeo and Juliet stuff has been great,
but I need to move into the next phase
where I isolate you and I abuse you" — (Laughter) —
"so I need to get you out of this apartment
where the neighbors can hear you scream
and out of this city where you have friends and family