How to pronounce "ceremonies"

greetings Ted community so good to see

greetings Ted community so good to see

greetings Ted community so good to see you welcome to the latest of our daily

you welcome to the latest of our daily

you welcome to the latest of our daily live conversations in these weird days

live conversations in these weird days

live conversations in these weird days of the virus good to have you with us

of the virus good to have you with us

of the virus good to have you with us whether you're getting isolated at home

whether you're getting isolated at home

whether you're getting isolated at home maybe with with a loved one or with

maybe with with a loved one or with

maybe with with a loved one or with family

family

family maybe you're by yourself maybe you have

maybe you're by yourself maybe you have

maybe you're by yourself maybe you have symptoms our hearts go out to you maybe

symptoms our hearts go out to you maybe

symptoms our hearts go out to you maybe you've lost someone maybe you know

you've lost someone maybe you know

you've lost someone maybe you know medical workers on the front line and

medical workers on the front line and

medical workers on the front line and you're worried for them or maybe you

you're worried for them or maybe you

you're worried for them or maybe you think this whole thing as a pumped-up

think this whole thing as a pumped-up

think this whole thing as a pumped-up panic by the media whoever you are

panic by the media whoever you are

panic by the media whoever you are you're welcome here for for this next

you're welcome here for for this next

you're welcome here for for this next hour I think it's an important

hour I think it's an important

hour I think it's an important conversation you know every morning I I

conversation you know every morning I I

conversation you know every morning I I the first news headline I look at it's

the first news headline I look at it's

the first news headline I look at it's not a headline it's it's a graph there's

not a headline it's it's a graph there's

not a headline it's it's a graph there's a site war domitor dot info that has

a site war domitor dot info that has

a site war domitor dot info that has grass side I want to show you the the

grass side I want to show you the the

grass side I want to show you the the graph for that today here's it looks

graph for that today here's it looks

graph for that today here's it looks like I don't if you can do this I hope

like I don't if you can do this I hope

like I don't if you can do this I hope you like the super high-tech production

you like the super high-tech production

you like the super high-tech production values here by the way that is not a

values here by the way that is not a

values here by the way that is not a pretty graph that is what exponential

pretty graph that is what exponential

pretty graph that is what exponential growth looks like more than sixty

growth looks like more than sixty

growth looks like more than sixty thousand new cases outside China today

thousand new cases outside China today

thousand new cases outside China today and in the last two that you know that

and in the last two that you know that

and in the last two that you know that in the whole time in China this was

in the whole time in China this was

in the whole time in China this was raging

raging

raging they notched up about eighty thousand

they notched up about eighty thousand

they notched up about eighty thousand cases on the official numbers the world

cases on the official numbers the world

cases on the official numbers the world outside China in the last two days said

outside China in the last two days said

outside China in the last two days said one over a hundred thousand cases and

one over a hundred thousand cases and

one over a hundred thousand cases and u.s. is now number one the more the

u.s. is now number one the more the

u.s. is now number one the more the nation when this was supposed to go away

nation when this was supposed to go away

nation when this was supposed to go away pretty quickly now has more cases in

pretty quickly now has more cases in

pretty quickly now has more cases in anywhere else in the loss of my

anywhere else in the loss of my

anywhere else in the loss of my eighty-five thousand and growing fast

eighty-five thousand and growing fast

eighty-five thousand and growing fast and New York where I'm sitting where the

and New York where I'm sitting where the

and New York where I'm sitting where the whole ten team is based is the epicenter

whole ten team is based is the epicenter

whole ten team is based is the epicenter in the US so it's a scary time to be

in the US so it's a scary time to be

in the US so it's a scary time to be here in New York there's some truly

here in New York there's some truly

here in New York there's some truly horrible stories coming out of some of

horrible stories coming out of some of

horrible stories coming out of some of the hospitals that are in danger of

the hospitals that are in danger of

the hospitals that are in danger of getting overrun huge efforts being made

getting overrun huge efforts being made

getting overrun huge efforts being made there but and of course many other parts

there but and of course many other parts

there but and of course many other parts of the world we've we've we've heard

of the world we've we've we've heard

of the world we've we've we've heard some of the darker

some of the darker

some of the darker boys that are out there so it's you know

boys that are out there so it's you know

boys that are out there so it's you know it's it's an alarming time I'd like

it's it's an alarming time I'd like

it's it's an alarming time I'd like anyone who looks at the numbers

anyone who looks at the numbers

anyone who looks at the numbers understands what exponential growth is

understands what exponential growth is

understands what exponential growth is it's an alarming time there'll be days

it's an alarming time there'll be days

it's an alarming time there'll be days in the coming couple weeks where sixty

in the coming couple weeks where sixty

in the coming couple weeks where sixty thousand new cases in a day will seem

thousand new cases in a day will seem

thousand new cases in a day will seem wonderfully good news and I wasn't going

wonderfully good news and I wasn't going

wonderfully good news and I wasn't going to go higher and and so I suspect we're

to go higher and and so I suspect we're

to go higher and and so I suspect we're in this for a long time to go basically

in this for a long time to go basically

in this for a long time to go basically for many of us just our lives completely

for many of us just our lives completely

for many of us just our lives completely different from what they normally are

different from what they normally are

different from what they normally are many of us isolated in some form or

many of us isolated in some form or

many of us isolated in some form or other at home and in a way we're the

other at home and in a way we're the

other at home and in a way we're the lucky ones as others who can't afford to

lucky ones as others who can't afford to

lucky ones as others who can't afford to do that we're having to go out the works

do that we're having to go out the works

do that we're having to go out the works somehow makes some kind of living and in

somehow makes some kind of living and in

somehow makes some kind of living and in doing so may feel that they're putting

doing so may feel that they're putting

doing so may feel that they're putting themselves at at risk though you know

themselves at at risk though you know

themselves at at risk though you know these are hard our days and we're gonna

these are hard our days and we're gonna

these are hard our days and we're gonna have to get used to a bunch of new ways

have to get used to a bunch of new ways

have to get used to a bunch of new ways to be a new ways to connect with each

to be a new ways to connect with each

to be a new ways to connect with each other because we can't actually be

other because we can't actually be

other because we can't actually be isolated we're human beings we're social

isolated we're human beings we're social

isolated we're human beings we're social species we have to connect with other

species we have to connect with other

species we have to connect with other people we just have to and thankfully

people we just have to and thankfully

people we just have to and thankfully there are many ways that it is still

there are many ways that it is still

there are many ways that it is still possible to do that many beautiful ways

possible to do that many beautiful ways

possible to do that many beautiful ways and ways that we're discovering and

and ways that we're discovering and

and ways that we're discovering and we're going to spend this hour devoted

we're going to spend this hour devoted

we're going to spend this hour devoted to that and thinking about that I like

to that and thinking about that I like

to that and thinking about that I like to invite on my car's Whitney Pennington

to invite on my car's Whitney Pennington

to invite on my car's Whitney Pennington Rogers that's currently fair's curator

Rogers that's currently fair's curator

Rogers that's currently fair's curator Whitney hello how are you I'm doing okay

Whitney hello how are you I'm doing okay

Whitney hello how are you I'm doing okay I'm doing okay and I'm really looking

I'm doing okay and I'm really looking

I'm doing okay and I'm really looking forward to hearing more about what

forward to hearing more about what

forward to hearing more about what you've shared just how we can and really

you've shared just how we can and really

you've shared just how we can and really stay connected which i think is so

stay connected which i think is so

stay connected which i think is so important for us and so you know where

important for us and so you know where

important for us and so you know where we're bringing you an interview today

we're bringing you an interview today

we're bringing you an interview today with Priya Parker she's the author of

with Priya Parker she's the author of

with Priya Parker she's the author of the art of gathering and her work really

the art of gathering and her work really

the art of gathering and her work really focuses on how we can develop and and

focuses on how we can develop and and

focuses on how we can develop and and and really sustain those meaningful

and really sustain those meaningful

and really sustain those meaningful connections and she's sharing some

connections and she's sharing some

connections and she's sharing some insight onto how we can continue to have

insight onto how we can continue to have

insight onto how we can continue to have gatherings that are intentional and add

gatherings that are intentional and add

gatherings that are intentional and add great value to our lives during the

great value to our lives during the

great value to our lives during the pandemic as Chris mentioned you know on

pandemic as Chris mentioned you know on

pandemic as Chris mentioned you know on the point of connection we had some

the point of connection we had some

the point of connection we had some connectivity issues that would have made

connectivity issues that would have made

connectivity issues that would have made it really challenging for us to invite

it really challenging for us to invite

it really challenging for us to invite Priya to do this interview live so we

Priya to do this interview live so we

Priya to do this interview live so we pre-recorded it

pre-recorded it

pre-recorded it and you know we really are looking

and you know we really are looking

and you know we really are looking forward to seeing what you all share

forward to seeing what you all share

forward to seeing what you all share about your own experiences with creating

about your own experiences with creating

about your own experiences with creating these connections and so we stopped took

these connections and so we stopped took

these connections and so we stopped took a lot of value from this and look

a lot of value from this and look

a lot of value from this and look forward to hearing what your thoughts

forward to hearing what your thoughts

forward to hearing what your thoughts are and hope that this is something that

are and hope that this is something that

are and hope that this is something that you enjoy listening to well thank you

you enjoy listening to well thank you

you enjoy listening to well thank you especially given the comp special

especially given the comp special

especially given the comp special accommodations you had to make thank you

accommodations you had to make thank you

accommodations you had to make thank you so much for for making the time for this

so much for for making the time for this

so much for for making the time for this and I you know I think especially about

and I you know I think especially about

and I you know I think especially about having as we're having a conversation

having as we're having a conversation

having as we're having a conversation about connection this feels somehow

about connection this feels somehow

about connection this feels somehow really really related and relevant it

really really related and relevant it

really really related and relevant it seems like it makes a lot of sense that

seems like it makes a lot of sense that

seems like it makes a lot of sense that you know we're talking about how we can

you know we're talking about how we can

you know we're talking about how we can have connections in these trying times

have connections in these trying times

have connections in these trying times and create creative ways to do that and

and create creative ways to do that and

and create creative ways to do that and I think Before we jump into this

I think Before we jump into this

I think Before we jump into this conversation a little bit more I'd love

conversation a little bit more I'd love

conversation a little bit more I'd love to just talk a little bit first about

to just talk a little bit first about

to just talk a little bit first about your own background so you are the

your own background so you are the

your own background so you are the author of a book called the art of

author of a book called the art of

author of a book called the art of gathering and you know you think a lot

gathering and you know you think a lot

gathering and you know you think a lot about how we can have meaningful

about how we can have meaningful

about how we can have meaningful connections create meaningful gatherings

connections create meaningful gatherings

connections create meaningful gatherings but you're not an event planner so I'd

but you're not an event planner so I'd

but you're not an event planner so I'd love to hear a little bit more about the

love to hear a little bit more about the

love to hear a little bit more about the the lens through which you approach

the lens through which you approach

the lens through which you approach gathering sure so I'm a group conflict

gathering sure so I'm a group conflict

gathering sure so I'm a group conflict resolution facilitator I'm trained in

resolution facilitator I'm trained in

resolution facilitator I'm trained in the methodology of group dialogue so

the methodology of group dialogue so

the methodology of group dialogue so basically how do you bring together a

basically how do you bring together a

basically how do you bring together a group of people three or more though I'm

group of people three or more though I'm

group of people three or more though I'm often doing it with 12 people or 40

often doing it with 12 people or 40

often doing it with 12 people or 40 people or 300 people in a room and have

people or 300 people in a room and have

people or 300 people in a room and have meaningful conversation meaningful

meaningful conversation meaningful

meaningful conversation meaningful dialogue that actually creates a

dialogue that actually creates a

dialogue that actually creates a different outcome for that community

different outcome for that community

different outcome for that community based on how you structure the

based on how you structure the

based on how you structure the conversation and I wrote this book the

conversation and I wrote this book the

conversation and I wrote this book the art of gathering in part because I was

art of gathering in part because I was

art of gathering in part because I was frustrated by kind of what popular

frustrated by kind of what popular

frustrated by kind of what popular culture tells us about what creates

culture tells us about what creates

culture tells us about what creates magic between people which if you kind

magic between people which if you kind

magic between people which if you kind of boil it down very simply it's like if

of boil it down very simply it's like if

of boil it down very simply it's like if you get the things right if you get the

you get the things right if you get the

you get the things right if you get the fish knives right or if you get the food

fish knives right or if you get the food

fish knives right or if you get the food right or if you get the tablecloth right

right or if you get the tablecloth right

right or if you get the tablecloth right everything else will take care of itself

everything else will take care of itself

everything else will take care of itself that that magic will happen through

that that magic will happen through

that that magic will happen through people because of the luck of their

people because of the luck of their

people because of the luck of their chemistry and I know as a trained

chemistry and I know as a trained

chemistry and I know as a trained facilitator that that's just not true

facilitator that that's just not true

facilitator that that's just not true and going to gathering after gathering

and going to gathering after gathering

and going to gathering after gathering in all types of contexts at schools and

in all types of contexts at schools and

in all types of contexts at schools and the public square

the public square

the public square you know conferences birthday parties I

you know conferences birthday parties I

you know conferences birthday parties I would get really frustrated seeing hosts

would get really frustrated seeing hosts

would get really frustrated seeing hosts take a lot of time and a lot of care and

take a lot of time and a lot of care and

take a lot of time and a lot of care and a lot of love pouring their time and

a lot of love pouring their time and

a lot of love pouring their time and energy into broadly stuff that doesn't

energy into broadly stuff that doesn't

energy into broadly stuff that doesn't really matter or at least doesn't

really matter or at least doesn't

really matter or at least doesn't actually make connection and intimacy

actually make connection and intimacy

actually make connection and intimacy and meaning and transformation among

and meaning and transformation among

and meaning and transformation among people it creates beauty but it doesn't

people it creates beauty but it doesn't

people it creates beauty but it doesn't necessarily create connection and I

necessarily create connection and I

necessarily create connection and I wanted to bring the facilitators lens to

wanted to bring the facilitators lens to

wanted to bring the facilitators lens to how anybody regardless of where you are

how anybody regardless of where you are

how anybody regardless of where you are you don't need a fancy house you don't

you don't need a fancy house you don't

you don't need a fancy house you don't need the right fish knives you don't

need the right fish knives you don't

need the right fish knives you don't need a specific you know computer

need a specific you know computer

need a specific you know computer program how anybody can create meaning

program how anybody can create meaning

program how anybody can create meaning with the people in their lives any and

with the people in their lives any and

with the people in their lives any and you know at work at home and their

you know at work at home and their

you know at work at home and their community or in the public square that's

community or in the public square that's

community or in the public square that's great and it seems like you know that's

great and it seems like you know that's

great and it seems like you know that's something that now more than ever we

something that now more than ever we

something that now more than ever we need to be really thoughtful about that

need to be really thoughtful about that

need to be really thoughtful about that and I'm curious you know you started to

and I'm curious you know you started to

and I'm curious you know you started to talk about this a little bit about

talk about this a little bit about

talk about this a little bit about people really focusing more on visually

people really focusing more on visually

people really focusing more on visually what these gatherings look like I mean

what these gatherings look like I mean

what these gatherings look like I mean do you feel like collectively we really

do you feel like collectively we really

do you feel like collectively we really struggled with how to create meaningful

struggled with how to create meaningful

struggled with how to create meaningful gatherings even before we got to this

gatherings even before we got to this

gatherings even before we got to this moment with the coronavirus I think that

moment with the coronavirus I think that

moment with the coronavirus I think that many of our gatherings aren't up to

many of our gatherings aren't up to

many of our gatherings aren't up to snuff in terms of being memorable and

snuff in terms of being memorable and

snuff in terms of being memorable and transformative to the people in them and

transformative to the people in them and

transformative to the people in them and I think this is for a lot of different

I think this is for a lot of different

I think this is for a lot of different reasons I think one of the things that I

reasons I think one of the things that I

reasons I think one of the things that I studied worse were rituals that actually

studied worse were rituals that actually

studied worse were rituals that actually create transformation in people and and

create transformation in people and and

create transformation in people and and powerful rituals tend to be specific and

powerful rituals tend to be specific and

powerful rituals tend to be specific and specificity tends to come from sub

specificity tends to come from sub

specificity tends to come from sub communities so for example like 2

communities so for example like 2

communities so for example like 2 million Romanian red thread tying

million Romanian red thread tying

million Romanian red thread tying ceremonies was a very specific ceremony

ceremonies was a very specific ceremony

ceremonies was a very specific ceremony from with them for a very specific

from with them for a very specific

from with them for a very specific community or javanese like tooth filing

community or javanese like tooth filing

community or javanese like tooth filing ceremonies where where there's a

ceremonies where where there's a

ceremonies where where there's a specific act and the people part of that

specific act and the people part of that

specific act and the people part of that gathering or part of that community

gathering or part of that community

gathering or part of that community understands like the symbolic act of

understands like the symbolic act of

understands like the symbolic act of each thing they worship the same God

each thing they worship the same God

each thing they worship the same God they eat the same things they dress in

they eat the same things they dress in

they eat the same things they dress in the same way and as we've become

the same way and as we've become

the same way and as we've become globalized and diverse and and you know

globalized and diverse and and you know

globalized and diverse and and you know modern in

modern in

modern in in a lot of different ways I would argue

in a lot of different ways I would argue

in a lot of different ways I would argue all good things

all good things

all good things many of our gatherings in part to try to

many of our gatherings in part to try to

many of our gatherings in part to try to not offend one another or assume that we

not offend one another or assume that we

not offend one another or assume that we share the same beliefs have become vague

share the same beliefs have become vague

share the same beliefs have become vague and diluted and so part of what we're

and diluted and so part of what we're

and diluted and so part of what we're struggling with even well before this

struggling with even well before this

struggling with even well before this with this pandemic is when people are

with this pandemic is when people are

with this pandemic is when people are coming together to mark a specific

coming together to mark a specific

coming together to mark a specific occasion or to meet in a specific way we

occasion or to meet in a specific way we

occasion or to meet in a specific way we tend to under structure and under give

tend to under structure and under give

tend to under structure and under give less context and under host our

less context and under host our

less context and under host our gatherings in a way that actually

gatherings in a way that actually

gatherings in a way that actually creates meaning among people who don't

creates meaning among people who don't

creates meaning among people who don't all share the same beliefs that's great

all share the same beliefs that's great

all share the same beliefs that's great I mean and I think that it's now that we

I mean and I think that it's now that we

I mean and I think that it's now that we are in this moment and we're spending so

are in this moment and we're spending so

are in this moment and we're spending so much more time apart from one another

much more time apart from one another

much more time apart from one another physically it seems like you know

physically it seems like you know

physically it seems like you know thinking about how we can stay in touch

thinking about how we can stay in touch

thinking about how we can stay in touch and how we can stay connected in a

and how we can stay connected in a

and how we can stay connected in a meaningful way that that creates of

meaningful way that that creates of

meaningful way that that creates of course a new challenge but it sounds

course a new challenge but it sounds

course a new challenge but it sounds like it's much more than just staying in

like it's much more than just staying in

like it's much more than just staying in touch with each other

touch with each other

touch with each other so I mean how should we change the lens

so I mean how should we change the lens

so I mean how should we change the lens of how we think about gatherings now

of how we think about gatherings now

of how we think about gatherings now that we are in this in this moment with

that we are in this in this moment with

that we are in this in this moment with this pandemic so we don't know how long

this pandemic so we don't know how long

this pandemic so we don't know how long this will last and and the biggest

this will last and and the biggest

this will last and and the biggest mistake we make whether you're gathering

mistake we make whether you're gathering

mistake we make whether you're gathering online or off is we tend to assume that

online or off is we tend to assume that

online or off is we tend to assume that the purpose is obvious we tend to assume

the purpose is obvious we tend to assume

the purpose is obvious we tend to assume that if you're having a work meeting

that if you're having a work meeting

that if you're having a work meeting it's to discuss work or if you're having

it's to discuss work or if you're having

it's to discuss work or if you're having a birthday party it's to mark a birthday

a birthday party it's to mark a birthday

a birthday party it's to mark a birthday and in this time specifically the

and in this time specifically the

and in this time specifically the biggest way to actually create a

biggest way to actually create a

biggest way to actually create a meaningful gathering for your community

meaningful gathering for your community

meaningful gathering for your community is to first ask what is the need like

is to first ask what is the need like

is to first ask what is the need like what is the need for this specific

what is the need for this specific

what is the need for this specific community at this specific moment in

community at this specific moment in

community at this specific moment in time and one of the things I've been

time and one of the things I've been

time and one of the things I've been watching is as as you know gathering

watching is as as you know gathering

watching is as as you know gathering after gathering is getting postponed or

after gathering is getting postponed or

after gathering is getting postponed or canceled the ones that are trying to

canceled the ones that are trying to

canceled the ones that are trying to figure out how to make they're off on

figure out how to make they're off on

figure out how to make they're off on offline Gathering online need to pause

offline Gathering online need to pause

offline Gathering online need to pause and actually ask given this new reality

and actually ask given this new reality

and actually ask given this new reality what is the need my community now needs

what is the need my community now needs

what is the need my community now needs and not assume that the gathering online

and not assume that the gathering online

and not assume that the gathering online should look exactly the same way as it

should look exactly the same way as it

should look exactly the same way as it did offline just sticking a video camera

did offline just sticking a video camera

did offline just sticking a video camera in front of one another

in front of one another

in front of one another I knew you know if you're a teacher and

I knew you know if you're a teacher and

I knew you know if you're a teacher and you're trying to figure out how to teach

you're trying to figure out how to teach

you're trying to figure out how to teach a course that is you know you have

a course that is you know you have

a course that is you know you have always taught with people physically

always taught with people physically

always taught with people physically your students physically in the room to

your students physically in the room to

your students physically in the room to actually pause and not say is my purpose

actually pause and not say is my purpose

actually pause and not say is my purpose to teach math perhaps your the purpose

to teach math perhaps your the purpose

to teach math perhaps your the purpose now for the next multiple weeks is to

now for the next multiple weeks is to

now for the next multiple weeks is to give confidence to your children to your

give confidence to your children to your

give confidence to your children to your students to keep trying through the

students to keep trying through the

students to keep trying through the mechanism of math I mean I'm kind of

mechanism of math I mean I'm kind of

mechanism of math I mean I'm kind of making this up here but part of what the

making this up here but part of what the

making this up here but part of what the the key of all of these gatherings is

the key of all of these gatherings is

the key of all of these gatherings is we're coming together to make them

we're coming together to make them

we're coming together to make them meaningful is to actually pause and to

meaningful is to actually pause and to

meaningful is to actually pause and to not assume we know what the need is or

not assume we know what the need is or

not assume we know what the need is or we know what the purpose is and to begin

we know what the purpose is and to begin

we know what the purpose is and to begin by asking first for the specific

by asking first for the specific

by asking first for the specific community for my family or my friends or

community for my family or my friends or

community for my family or my friends or for my cousins or for my group of

for my cousins or for my group of

for my cousins or for my group of activists or for my board members or for

activists or for my board members or for

activists or for my board members or for my neighbors this week this day what is

my neighbors this week this day what is

my neighbors this week this day what is it that we most need and how might we

it that we most need and how might we

it that we most need and how might we gather around that or for some people

gather around that or for some people

gather around that or for some people who are getting zoomed out you know zoom

who are getting zoomed out you know zoom

who are getting zoomed out you know zoom caught resumed call after zoom call the

caught resumed call after zoom call the

caught resumed call after zoom call the need might actually be to cancel a

need might actually be to cancel a

need might actually be to cancel a gathering so I'm not saying gather more

gathering so I'm not saying gather more

gathering so I'm not saying gather more I'm saying gather better and it seems

I'm saying gather better and it seems

I'm saying gather better and it seems that doing that also would be different

that doing that also would be different

that doing that also would be different for those people who maybe we're living

for those people who maybe we're living

for those people who maybe we're living with or you know are isolating with and

with or you know are isolating with and

with or you know are isolating with and those who are not actually physically

those who are not actually physically

those who are not actually physically spending time with so I guess how should

spending time with so I guess how should

spending time with so I guess how should we think about those connections

we think about those connections

we think about those connections differently yeah it's a great question

differently yeah it's a great question

differently yeah it's a great question so you know most many of us are

so you know most many of us are

so you know most many of us are isolating with family members or

isolating with family members or

isolating with family members or roommates or partners some of us are

roommates or partners some of us are

roommates or partners some of us are alone and most of us are also finding

alone and most of us are also finding

alone and most of us are also finding ways to be connected with those were not

ways to be connected with those were not

ways to be connected with those were not with so I'll sirs first start with the

with so I'll sirs first start with the

with so I'll sirs first start with the communities that we're that you're if

communities that we're that you're if

communities that we're that you're if you're isolating within which is a

you're isolating within which is a

you're isolating within which is a couple of things you know in conflict

couple of things you know in conflict

couple of things you know in conflict resolution one of the first one of the

resolution one of the first one of the

resolution one of the first one of the first things you do as a as a

first things you do as a as a

first things you do as a as a facilitator is is create ground rules

facilitator is is create ground rules

facilitator is is create ground rules you know I think of as EA's every

you know I think of as EA's every

you know I think of as EA's every gathering as an opportunity for an

gathering as an opportunity for an

gathering as an opportunity for an interruption and we right now are in the

interruption and we right now are in the

interruption and we right now are in the greatest moment of global interruption

greatest moment of global interruption

greatest moment of global interruption we faced in a long time and one of the

we faced in a long time and one of the

we faced in a long time and one of the opportunities for an interruption that

opportunities for an interruption that

opportunities for an interruption that this allows is when for those that

this allows is when for those that

this allows is when for those that you're you know quarantine

you're you know quarantine

you're you know quarantine whether they're the people you normally

whether they're the people you normally

whether they're the people you normally live with regularly live with or whether

live with regularly live with or whether

live with regularly live with or whether that you have you're an adult and you've

that you have you're an adult and you've

that you have you're an adult and you've gone home to your you know your adult

gone home to your you know your adult

gone home to your you know your adult parents and you're renegotiating what it

parents and you're renegotiating what it

parents and you're renegotiating what it actually looks like to live together

actually looks like to live together

actually looks like to live together during this period when you weren't

during this period when you weren't

during this period when you weren't expecting it is to actually first pause

expecting it is to actually first pause

expecting it is to actually first pause and let's create some ground rules you

and let's create some ground rules you

and let's create some ground rules you don't have to call it that but for some

don't have to call it that but for some

don't have to call it that but for some ground rules they say how do we want to

ground rules they say how do we want to

ground rules they say how do we want to live together how do we want to be

live together how do we want to be

live together how do we want to be together do we want to have specific

together do we want to have specific

together do we want to have specific evenings a week where we come together

evenings a week where we come together

evenings a week where we come together and we have dinner and are the rest of

and we have dinner and are the rest of

and we have dinner and are the rest of the week we're on our own how do we want

the week we're on our own how do we want

the week we're on our own how do we want to actually share food and to not assume

to actually share food and to not assume

to actually share food and to not assume that you kind of have to be together the

that you kind of have to be together the

that you kind of have to be together the whole time all the time but to actually

whole time all the time but to actually

whole time all the time but to actually have clear honest conversations to

have clear honest conversations to

have clear honest conversations to navigate both physical and psychological

navigate both physical and psychological

navigate both physical and psychological and interconnected space together and

and interconnected space together and

and interconnected space together and then and then once you've done that I

then and then once you've done that I

then and then once you've done that I think the the second thing around those

think the the second thing around those

think the the second thing around those who are isolating and creating

who are isolating and creating

who are isolating and creating meaningful gatherings together at home

meaningful gatherings together at home

meaningful gatherings together at home is to really think about you know there

is to really think about you know there

is to really think about you know there there's this in my in my book I talk

there's this in my in my book I talk

there's this in my in my book I talk about the Passover principle which is

about the Passover principle which is

about the Passover principle which is the first question I'm not Jewish but

the first question I'm not Jewish but

the first question I'm not Jewish but studied many different types of

studied many different types of

studied many different types of gatherings in my research and one of the

gatherings in my research and one of the

gatherings in my research and one of the questions that that the Jews ask during

questions that that the Jews ask during

questions that that the Jews ask during Passover Seder the first question is

Passover Seder the first question is

Passover Seder the first question is roughly translated as how is this night

roughly translated as how is this night

roughly translated as how is this night different than all other nights and I

different than all other nights and I

different than all other nights and I think that that is a question that is so

think that that is a question that is so

think that that is a question that is so powerful and is applicable to every

powerful and is applicable to every

powerful and is applicable to every gathering you've ever hosted

gathering you've ever hosted

gathering you've ever hosted so as you're home with your family or

so as you're home with your family or

so as you're home with your family or with your friends or with your partner

with your friends or with your partner

with your friends or with your partner to begin to ask how do you begin to mark

to begin to ask how do you begin to mark

to begin to ask how do you begin to mark the days so that they don't all blend in

the days so that they don't all blend in

the days so that they don't all blend in with each other you know what is Tuesday

with each other you know what is Tuesday

with each other you know what is Tuesday evening how do you want to come together

evening how do you want to come together

evening how do you want to come together could you you know set up a list of

could you you know set up a list of

could you you know set up a list of questions of questions you would never

questions of questions you would never

questions of questions you would never you know typically ask one another at a

you know typically ask one another at a

you know typically ask one another at a normal evening but how do you actually

normal evening but how do you actually

normal evening but how do you actually come together and answer the you know

come together and answer the you know

come together and answer the you know thirty four questions to fall in love

thirty four questions to fall in love

thirty four questions to fall in love with anybody questions or or find a way

with anybody questions or or find a way

with anybody questions or or find a way to have conversations with your parents

to have conversations with your parents

to have conversations with your parents or with your grandparents that that

or with your grandparents that that

or with your grandparents that that normal times don't allow for and then to

normal times don't allow for and then to

normal times don't allow for and then to your second point around how do we

your second point around how do we

your second point around how do we create meaning or connection with those

create meaning or connection with those

create meaning or connection with those who with whom or not with there are you

who with whom or not with there are you

who with whom or not with there are you know melot's sort of the same question

know melot's sort of the same question

know melot's sort of the same question which is map out your community

which is map out your community

which is map out your community and ask what is what do they need and

and ask what is what do they need and

and ask what is what do they need and what do you need and in some cases it

what do you need and in some cases it

what do you need and in some cases it might be just a simple kind of passive

might be just a simple kind of passive

might be just a simple kind of passive experiencing something together through

experiencing something together through

experiencing something together through connecting and kind of sync watching

connecting and kind of sync watching

connecting and kind of sync watching something so like the Metropolitan Opera

something so like the Metropolitan Opera

something so like the Metropolitan Opera every night is doing live streams of

every night is doing live streams of

every night is doing live streams of their operas around you know online

their operas around you know online

their operas around you know online there's many types of cultural and art

there's many types of cultural and art

there's many types of cultural and art institutions that are actually making

institutions that are actually making

institutions that are actually making free a lot of their content and so at

free a lot of their content and so at

free a lot of their content and so at kind of a low participation rate but

kind of a low participation rate but

kind of a low participation rate but just kind of wanting to do something

just kind of wanting to do something

just kind of wanting to do something together the equivalent of going to

together the equivalent of going to

together the equivalent of going to watch the movies you can actually sync

watch the movies you can actually sync

watch the movies you can actually sync watch these things together at a higher

watch these things together at a higher

watch these things together at a higher level of engagement one of the forms of

level of engagement one of the forms of

level of engagement one of the forms of meaning-making is to actually think

meaning-making is to actually think

meaning-making is to actually think about what are the conversations or how

about what are the conversations or how

about what are the conversations or how do you want to engage with one another

do you want to engage with one another

do you want to engage with one another through either a shared activity or or

through either a shared activity or or

through either a shared activity or or or sharing activity over this course of

or sharing activity over this course of

or sharing activity over this course of time I went in 2012 Bruce Springsteen

time I went in 2012 Bruce Springsteen

time I went in 2012 Bruce Springsteen gave this amazing talk at South by

gave this amazing talk at South by

gave this amazing talk at South by Southwest where he basically kind of

Southwest where he basically kind of

Southwest where he basically kind of gave his a musical autobiography so like

gave his a musical autobiography so like

gave his a musical autobiography so like the songs that most shaped him as a

the songs that most shaped him as a

the songs that most shaped him as a seven year old as a 13 year old as a 19

seven year old as a 13 year old as a 19

seven year old as a 13 year old as a 19 year old as a 23 year old it's one of

year old as a 23 year old it's one of

year old as a 23 year old it's one of the most amazing speeches you can ever

the most amazing speeches you can ever

the most amazing speeches you can ever read and you can you can look it online

read and you can you can look it online

read and you can you can look it online actually this is like what a nerd I am I

actually this is like what a nerd I am I

actually this is like what a nerd I am I like read through the speech and then

like read through the speech and then

like read through the speech and then just played the song on each song and

just played the song on each song and

just played the song on each song and Spotify to kind of like have the

Spotify to kind of like have the

Spotify to kind of like have the experience and I was telling this to a

experience and I was telling this to a

experience and I was telling this to a friend and he said why don't we do that

friend and he said why don't we do that

friend and he said why don't we do that as a circle of friends

as a circle of friends

as a circle of friends over a series of dinners we you know in

over a series of dinners we you know in

over a series of dinners we you know in my case is a group of friends who know

my case is a group of friends who know

my case is a group of friends who know each other pretty well and we can kind

each other pretty well and we can kind

each other pretty well and we can kind of get into the same rut when we hang

of get into the same rut when we hang

of get into the same rut when we hang out it's great but it was a sort of this

out it's great but it was a sort of this

out it's great but it was a sort of this idea of an interruption in the way that

idea of an interruption in the way that

idea of an interruption in the way that how do we actually have a different kind

how do we actually have a different kind

how do we actually have a different kind of conversation and so we made up the

of conversation and so we made up the

of conversation and so we made up the rules and we called it seven songs and

rules and we called it seven songs and

rules and we called it seven songs and the invitation was that each friend each

the invitation was that each friend each

the invitation was that each friend each person gets one evening one dinner one

person gets one evening one dinner one

person gets one evening one dinner one salon where they come and they bring the

salon where they come and they bring the

salon where they come and they bring the seven songs that most shaped them over

seven songs that most shaped them over

seven songs that most shaped them over the course of their life their their

the course of their life their their

the course of their life their their full life and the rest of us would agree

full life and the rest of us would agree

full life and the rest of us would agree to kind of listen to them and also to

to kind of listen to them and also to

to kind of listen to them and also to the songs and there's no reason you

the songs and there's no reason you

the songs and there's no reason you couldn't do that virtually and so when I

couldn't do that virtually and so when I

couldn't do that virtually and so when I say create meaning together you know

say create meaning together you know

say create meaning together you know meaning is created through specificity

meaning is created through specificity

meaning is created through specificity and structure and

and structure and

and structure and a specific purpose and so in this moment

a specific purpose and so in this moment

a specific purpose and so in this moment a time when we're not sure how long will

a time when we're not sure how long will

a time when we're not sure how long will be social distancing or at least

be social distancing or at least

be social distancing or at least physically distancing to find really

physically distancing to find really

physically distancing to find really interesting forms of interruptions among

interesting forms of interruptions among

interesting forms of interruptions among friends and families to say how do we

friends and families to say how do we

friends and families to say how do we actually want to use this time together

actually want to use this time together

actually want to use this time together and to have perhaps conversations that

and to have perhaps conversations that

and to have perhaps conversations that we typically wouldn't have in this kind

we typically wouldn't have in this kind

we typically wouldn't have in this kind of different moment well I love that I

of different moment well I love that I

of different moment well I love that I love how it seems like there's so many

love how it seems like there's so many

love how it seems like there's so many ways that we can take the events that we

ways that we can take the events that we

ways that we can take the events that we already have there are the ways that

already have there are the ways that

already have there are the ways that we've already been connecting and I

we've already been connecting and I

we've already been connecting and I really just modify them and adapt them

really just modify them and adapt them

really just modify them and adapt them to this situation that we're living in

to this situation that we're living in

to this situation that we're living in so one thing I'm curious about you you

so one thing I'm curious about you you

so one thing I'm curious about you you sort of mention this at the beginning of

sort of mention this at the beginning of

sort of mention this at the beginning of your response and thinking about the

your response and thinking about the

your response and thinking about the ground rules um I'd love to talk a

ground rules um I'd love to talk a

ground rules um I'd love to talk a little bit too about you know what might

little bit too about you know what might

little bit too about you know what might some of those ground rules look like

some of those ground rules look like

some of those ground rules look like when we're thinking about how we're

when we're thinking about how we're

when we're thinking about how we're connecting and gathering with folks you

connecting and gathering with folks you

connecting and gathering with folks you know as you mentioned in some cases

know as you mentioned in some cases

know as you mentioned in some cases where maybe you're isolating together

where maybe you're isolating together

where maybe you're isolating together but maybe that whole living experience

but maybe that whole living experience

but maybe that whole living experience is different that if you're maybe an

is different that if you're maybe an

is different that if you're maybe an adult child who's moving home you know

adult child who's moving home you know

adult child who's moving home you know what is what does that look like how do

what is what does that look like how do

what is what does that look like how do you have create those ground rules so

you have create those ground rules so

you have create those ground rules so that you can connect to meaningfully

that you can connect to meaningfully

that you can connect to meaningfully gather meaningfully in a space that

gather meaningfully in a space that

gather meaningfully in a space that maybe is very different from what your

maybe is very different from what your

maybe is very different from what your living situation was like before ground

living situation was like before ground

living situation was like before ground rules help us create a common social

rules help us create a common social

rules help us create a common social contract to be able to enjoy each other

contract to be able to enjoy each other

contract to be able to enjoy each other so the first thing is people often think

so the first thing is people often think

so the first thing is people often think like little rules but actually there are

like little rules but actually there are

like little rules but actually there are implicit norms that were sort of

implicit norms that were sort of

implicit norms that were sort of navigating implicitly around each other

navigating implicitly around each other

navigating implicitly around each other and often fights come up because our

and often fights come up because our

and often fights come up because our norms clash or expectations clash and so

norms clash or expectations clash and so

norms clash or expectations clash and so before even having a conversation around

before even having a conversation around

before even having a conversation around sort of ground rules to answer questions

sort of ground rules to answer questions

sort of ground rules to answer questions together like how do we want to think

together like how do we want to think

together like how do we want to think about who uses what space when and

about who uses what space when and

about who uses what space when and depending on the physical infrastructure

depending on the physical infrastructure

depending on the physical infrastructure of your house that might be rotating

of your house that might be rotating

of your house that might be rotating through there might be one room and one

through there might be one room and one

through there might be one room and one office and then six different people

office and then six different people

office and then six different people wanting to use it it might be who gets

wanting to use it it might be who gets

wanting to use it it might be who gets to use the kitchen at different times so

to use the kitchen at different times so

to use the kitchen at different times so so norms around physical space asking

so norms around physical space asking

so norms around physical space asking questions around are there times where

questions around are there times where

questions around are there times where we would like to actually like how much

we would like to actually like how much

we would like to actually like how much together time do each want or need

together time do each want or need

together time do each want or need how much like a part time do we each

how much like a part time do we each

how much like a part time do we each want or need I know that in some

want or need I know that in some

want or need I know that in some families and extended families there's

families and extended families there's

families and extended families there's sort of this norm that when you come

sort of this norm that when you come

sort of this norm that when you come together whether it's Thanksgiving or

together whether it's Thanksgiving or

together whether it's Thanksgiving or whether it's you know Easter or Passover

whether it's you know Easter or Passover

whether it's you know Easter or Passover there's a sense that well we're never

there's a sense that well we're never

there's a sense that well we're never actually together so you kind of do

actually together so you kind of do

actually together so you kind of do everything together all day long right

everything together all day long right

everything together all day long right you eat every meal together you can and

you eat every meal together you can and

you eat every meal together you can and yeah it's easy to kind of get fall back

yeah it's easy to kind of get fall back

yeah it's easy to kind of get fall back into the routine of what it's like when

into the routine of what it's like when

into the routine of what it's like when you suddenly go home but this time is

you suddenly go home but this time is

you suddenly go home but this time is very different than that and so part of

very different than that and so part of

very different than that and so part of this is sort of zooming back and

this is sort of zooming back and

this is sort of zooming back and particularly with adult children within

particularly with adult children within

particularly with adult children within their parents to begin to ask what are

their parents to begin to ask what are

their parents to begin to ask what are all of our individual and connecting

all of our individual and connecting

all of our individual and connecting collective needs and then how do we

collective needs and then how do we

collective needs and then how do we begin to navigate navigate an orient

begin to navigate navigate an orient

begin to navigate navigate an orient around this around this this moment

around this around this this moment

around this around this this moment other types of conversations to ask to

other types of conversations to ask to

other types of conversations to ask to have potential years financially are we

have potential years financially are we

have potential years financially are we sharing costs around certain things how

sharing costs around certain things how

sharing costs around certain things how do we think about if somebody wants to

do we think about if somebody wants to

do we think about if somebody wants to spend money on something that's shared

spend money on something that's shared

spend money on something that's shared and somebody else's want to have it like

and somebody else's want to have it like

and somebody else's want to have it like how do we want to think about that

how do we want to think about that

how do we want to think about that what are you know rules around

what are you know rules around

what are you know rules around quarantine you know this is also this is

quarantine you know this is also this is

quarantine you know this is also this is an inherently relational disease right

an inherently relational disease right

an inherently relational disease right that's what a pandemic is and so what

that's what a pandemic is and so what

that's what a pandemic is and so what are the rules around which we agree to

are the rules around which we agree to

are the rules around which we agree to enter or exit or procure food and and to

enter or exit or procure food and and to

enter or exit or procure food and and to basically you know relationships many of

basically you know relationships many of

basically you know relationships many of us are being put into a situation that

us are being put into a situation that

us are being put into a situation that we weren't expecting and one of the best

we weren't expecting and one of the best

we weren't expecting and one of the best ways again to begin to navigate that and

ways again to begin to navigate that and

ways again to begin to navigate that and not just have it be a defensive time but

not just have it be a defensive time but

not just have it be a defensive time but a generative time or a creative time

a generative time or a creative time

a generative time or a creative time with those with whom you're sharing

with those with whom you're sharing

with those with whom you're sharing space is to talk about it early and

space is to talk about it early and

space is to talk about it early and often and begin to hear about what are

often and begin to hear about what are

often and begin to hear about what are again what our individual needs what our

again what our individual needs what our

again what our individual needs what our collective needs and you can also make

collective needs and you can also make

collective needs and you can also make it fun but this is you know living

it fun but this is you know living

it fun but this is you know living together creates a context in which it's

together creates a context in which it's

together creates a context in which it's better to talk about how you want to

better to talk about how you want to

better to talk about how you want to navigate it first and and not just kind

navigate it first and and not just kind

navigate it first and and not just kind of the hygiene of it but also then how

of the hygiene of it but also then how

of the hygiene of it but also then how do we want to actually come together

do we want to actually come together

do we want to actually come together during this time and use it differently

during this time and use it differently

during this time and use it differently I love that and I mean I guess also in

I love that and I mean I guess also in

I love that and I mean I guess also in thinking about it from the work

thinking about it from the work

thinking about it from the work perspective you talked about you know

perspective you talked about you know

perspective you talked about you know not getting zoomed out but maybe it's

not getting zoomed out but maybe it's

not getting zoomed out but maybe it's the reverse it sounds like where you

the reverse it sounds like where you

the reverse it sounds like where you might come from a space where you're

might come from a space where you're

might come from a space where you're constantly seeing your co-workers in

constantly seeing your co-workers in

constantly seeing your co-workers in person

person

person day to day for those people who are

day to day for those people who are

day to day for those people who are working remotely now and the dynamic of

working remotely now and the dynamic of

working remotely now and the dynamic of how you gather in those situations also

how you gather in those situations also

how you gather in those situations also seem like they might change and benefit

seem like they might change and benefit

seem like they might change and benefit from some rules around what those

from some rules around what those

from some rules around what those gatherings look like you know I guess

gatherings look like you know I guess

gatherings look like you know I guess what are some unique things that you

what are some unique things that you

what are some unique things that you think people might face in their work

think people might face in their work

think people might face in their work lives as a result of social distancing

lives as a result of social distancing

lives as a result of social distancing when it comes to gathering absolutely I

when it comes to gathering absolutely I

when it comes to gathering absolutely I think it raises an entire new set of

think it raises an entire new set of

think it raises an entire new set of questions I mean to be clear there have

questions I mean to be clear there have

questions I mean to be clear there have been MIT there are many global companies

been MIT there are many global companies

been MIT there are many global companies that have already been distributed have

that have already been distributed have

that have already been distributed have been doing distributing distributive

been doing distributing distributive

been doing distributing distributive teaming for for you know decades the

teaming for for you know decades the

teaming for for you know decades the disabled community has very interesting

disabled community has very interesting

disabled community has very interesting and has long been advocating for you

and has long been advocating for you

and has long been advocating for you know simple things like live-streaming

know simple things like live-streaming

know simple things like live-streaming let alone thinking about digital

let alone thinking about digital

let alone thinking about digital participatory ways of coming together so

participatory ways of coming together so

participatory ways of coming together so this is not new for everybody and it's

this is not new for everybody and it's

this is not new for everybody and it's new and this scale for most of us and I

new and this scale for most of us and I

new and this scale for most of us and I think some of the things that these that

think some of the things that these that

think some of the things that these that that you know the sort of the first week

that you know the sort of the first week

that you know the sort of the first week or at least in the u.s. contacts but you

or at least in the u.s. contacts but you

or at least in the u.s. contacts but you know the cycles of weeks is it's putting

know the cycles of weeks is it's putting

know the cycles of weeks is it's putting us in a situation where all of a sudden

us in a situation where all of a sudden

us in a situation where all of a sudden questions of intimacy come up so for

questions of intimacy come up so for

questions of intimacy come up so for example for many of us were where we're

example for many of us were where we're

example for many of us were where we're showing sides of ourselves this this is

showing sides of ourselves this this is

showing sides of ourselves this this is an example of that that we wouldn't

an example of that that we wouldn't

an example of that that we wouldn't normally share and in a work context

normally share and in a work context

normally share and in a work context that could be that could be meaning

that could be that could be meaning

that could be that could be meaning having your colleagues see your kitchen

having your colleagues see your kitchen

having your colleagues see your kitchen or that could be having your colleagues

or that could be having your colleagues

or that could be having your colleagues see your child or your dog or whatever

see your child or your dog or whatever

see your child or your dog or whatever it is that typically you would actually

it is that typically you would actually

it is that typically you would actually in a work context have the power to

in a work context have the power to

in a work context have the power to choose to show and so I think the

choose to show and so I think the

choose to show and so I think the questions of intimacy are ones that are

questions of intimacy are ones that are

questions of intimacy are ones that are going to come up and I and you know

going to come up and I and you know

going to come up and I and you know intimacy for intimacy sake particularly

intimacy for intimacy sake particularly

intimacy for intimacy sake particularly in a power context isn't necessarily a

in a power context isn't necessarily a

in a power context isn't necessarily a good thing

good thing

good thing but within within a conscious set up

but within within a conscious set up

but within within a conscious set up intimacy to actually bring people into

intimacy to actually bring people into

intimacy to actually bring people into this moment together and not pretend

this moment together and not pretend

this moment together and not pretend that it this isn't strange is also

that it this isn't strange is also

that it this isn't strange is also helpful so for example questions that

helpful so for example questions that

helpful so for example questions that team leaders and people hosting calls

team leaders and people hosting calls

team leaders and people hosting calls should think about is do you purposely

should think about is do you purposely

should think about is do you purposely want to have people actually just have a

want to have people actually just have a

want to have people actually just have a white background in the back as a

white background in the back as a

white background in the back as a relative equaliser or do you want to

relative equaliser or do you want to

relative equaliser or do you want to purposely invite people to put the

purposely invite people to put the

purposely invite people to put the camera and

camera and

camera and of a part of their home that is

of a part of their home that is

of a part of their home that is meaningful to them and one isn't right

meaningful to them and one isn't right

meaningful to them and one isn't right or wrong but just to be really

or wrong but just to be really

or wrong but just to be really thoughtful about what are you asking

thoughtful about what are you asking

thoughtful about what are you asking people to share and what are you asking

people to share and what are you asking

people to share and what are you asking people to hide or allowing them to keep

people to hide or allowing them to keep

people to hide or allowing them to keep for themselves we have different spaces

for themselves we have different spaces

for themselves we have different spaces for different reasons and that's a good

for different reasons and that's a good

for different reasons and that's a good thing and so part of what's happening in

thing and so part of what's happening in

thing and so part of what's happening in this moment is when you're allowing

this moment is when you're allowing

this moment is when you're allowing because the technology that we have is

because the technology that we have is

because the technology that we have is is penetrating into spaces that usually

is penetrating into spaces that usually

is penetrating into spaces that usually we have more choice whether or not we

we have more choice whether or not we

we have more choice whether or not we want to share and so it sounds like a

want to share and so it sounds like a

want to share and so it sounds like a big part of that it's just it's really

big part of that it's just it's really

big part of that it's just it's really just having those conversations with

just having those conversations with

just having those conversations with each other about what makes the most

each other about what makes the most

each other about what makes the most sense for that particular group that and

sense for that particular group that and

sense for that particular group that and I think the host and particularly the

I think the host and particularly the

I think the host and particularly the person who has power in the context you

person who has power in the context you

person who has power in the context you know to really think about what is the

know to really think about what is the

know to really think about what is the purpose of this gathering who needs to

purpose of this gathering who needs to

purpose of this gathering who needs to be there and what is the need that we're

be there and what is the need that we're

be there and what is the need that we're trying to fulfill and how do I

trying to fulfill and how do I

trying to fulfill and how do I temporarily equalize people so the role

temporarily equalize people so the role

temporarily equalize people so the role of a host I believe has has you have

of a host I believe has has you have

of a host I believe has has you have three roles as a host the first is to

three roles as a host the first is to

three roles as a host the first is to connect people to the purpose of the

connect people to the purpose of the

connect people to the purpose of the meeting and to each other

meeting and to each other

meeting and to each other the second is to protect them from each

the second is to protect them from each

the second is to protect them from each other and the third is to temporarily

other and the third is to temporarily

other and the third is to temporarily equalize them and in some context

equalize them and in some context

equalize them and in some context temporarily equalizing people might mean

temporarily equalizing people might mean

temporarily equalizing people might mean showing your background and in other

showing your background and in other

showing your background and in other context temporarily equalizing them

context temporarily equalizing them

context temporarily equalizing them means don't show the background because

means don't show the background because

means don't show the background because of the stark difference or imbalance

of the stark difference or imbalance

of the stark difference or imbalance between the people in the room and I

between the people in the room and I

between the people in the room and I think part of like the responsibility to

think part of like the responsibility to

think part of like the responsibility to host the gathering should not fall

host the gathering should not fall

host the gathering should not fall equally across the spectrum of power and

equally across the spectrum of power and

equally across the spectrum of power and so a boss should really think about what

so a boss should really think about what

so a boss should really think about what is needed and how do I set my people up

is needed and how do I set my people up

is needed and how do I set my people up so that they're so that they're able to

so that they're so that they're able to

so that they're so that they're able to focus on the need at hand you know I'll

focus on the need at hand you know I'll

focus on the need at hand you know I'll take one more second and just say I

take one more second and just say I

take one more second and just say I think another question that's coming up

think another question that's coming up

think another question that's coming up quite often is when do you cancel when

quite often is when do you cancel when

quite often is when do you cancel when do you postpone and when do you just

do you postpone and when do you just

do you postpone and when do you just bring it on zoom' and again for a host

bring it on zoom' and again for a host

bring it on zoom' and again for a host to say for the person who's really

to say for the person who's really

to say for the person who's really thinking about the need of the community

thinking about the need of the community

thinking about the need of the community to say well what is it that is essential

to say well what is it that is essential

to say well what is it that is essential in this moment in time and who needs to

in this moment in time and who needs to

in this moment in time and who needs to be a part of that and to not assume that

be a part of that and to not assume that

be a part of that and to not assume that every person has to be part of every

every person has to be part of every

every person has to be part of every zoom meeting but also to not assume that

zoom meeting but also to not assume that

zoom meeting but also to not assume that that everything that you were going to

that everything that you were going to

that everything that you were going to do anyway still needs to happen there

do anyway still needs to happen there

do anyway still needs to happen there was a there was a I think it became a

was a there was a I think it became a

was a there was a I think it became a New Yorker cartoon but a joke going

New Yorker cartoon but a joke going

New Yorker cartoon but a joke going around that said something like

around that said something like

around that said something like I guess that I guess that work meeting

I guess that I guess that work meeting

I guess that I guess that work meeting really could have just been put in an

really could have just been put in an

really could have just been put in an email so there will be some gatherings

email so there will be some gatherings

email so there will be some gatherings that are canceled and like we will be

that are canceled and like we will be

that are canceled and like we will be better for it and then there will all be

better for it and then there will all be

better for it and then there will all be other gatherings that are invented and

other gatherings that are invented and

other gatherings that are invented and we will be better for it I love that and

we will be better for it I love that and

we will be better for it I love that and I just love how there is this is such a

I just love how there is this is such a

I just love how there is this is such a creative poem and it sounds like and and

creative poem and it sounds like and and

creative poem and it sounds like and and I'm curious I mean you already shared

I'm curious I mean you already shared

I'm curious I mean you already shared some examples of ways that you can turn

some examples of ways that you can turn

some examples of ways that you can turn some of the meetings and gatherings that

some of the meetings and gatherings that

some of the meetings and gatherings that you've already had and sort of adapt

you've already had and sort of adapt

you've already had and sort of adapt them to this moment but I'd love to hear

them to this moment but I'd love to hear

them to this moment but I'd love to hear - you know what are some I guess unique

- you know what are some I guess unique

- you know what are some I guess unique ways that you think really it just

ways that you think really it just

ways that you think really it just applies to the moment we're living in

applies to the moment we're living in

applies to the moment we're living in that this is the kind of gathering that

that this is the kind of gathering that

that this is the kind of gathering that only can happen as we're all you know

only can happen as we're all you know

only can happen as we're all you know spending so much time apart as we're all

spending so much time apart as we're all

spending so much time apart as we're all connecting virtually or however whatever

connecting virtually or however whatever

connecting virtually or however whatever the circumstance is you know what what

the circumstance is you know what what

the circumstance is you know what what our gatherings that feel really unique

our gatherings that feel really unique

our gatherings that feel really unique to this moment um one of the ones that

to this moment um one of the ones that

to this moment um one of the ones that I've been watching that's been written

I've been watching that's been written

I've been watching that's been written about a lot is a DJ called d-nice last

about a lot is a DJ called d-nice last

about a lot is a DJ called d-nice last Wednesday he started basically like

Wednesday he started basically like

Wednesday he started basically like DJing sets from 6:00 p.m. to midnight

DJing sets from 6:00 p.m. to midnight

DJing sets from 6:00 p.m. to midnight six hours at a time Eastern Standard

six hours at a time Eastern Standard

six hours at a time Eastern Standard Time and Friday night and Friday night a

Time and Friday night and Friday night a

Time and Friday night and Friday night a number of kind of famous artists joined

number of kind of famous artists joined

number of kind of famous artists joined to you know joined the party and then

to you know joined the party and then

to you know joined the party and then Saturday night it just kind of took off

Saturday night it just kind of took off

Saturday night it just kind of took off in this in this kind of electric way

in this in this kind of electric way

in this in this kind of electric way over a hundred thousand people joined

over a hundred thousand people joined

over a hundred thousand people joined through Instagram Live and at some point

through Instagram Live and at some point

through Instagram Live and at some point like people from all around the world

like people from all around the world

like people from all around the world but also a lot of political leaders in

but also a lot of political leaders in

but also a lot of political leaders in the u.s. like kind of joined and came in

the u.s. like kind of joined and came in

the u.s. like kind of joined and came in came out Bernie Sanders came in

came out Bernie Sanders came in

came out Bernie Sanders came in Elizabeth Warren made a cameo Michelle

Elizabeth Warren made a cameo Michelle

Elizabeth Warren made a cameo Michelle Obama came in and and you know that kind

Obama came in and and you know that kind

Obama came in and and you know that kind of collective moment of people all

of collective moment of people all

of collective moment of people all dancing in their own like living room

dancing in their own like living room

dancing in their own like living room wherever they are but being able to come

wherever they are but being able to come

wherever they are but being able to come into a virtual Club you know it reminded

into a virtual Club you know it reminded

into a virtual Club you know it reminded me of studio 54 Andy Warhol was was once

me of studio 54 Andy Warhol was was once

me of studio 54 Andy Warhol was was once asked about his like red in the red rope

asked about his like red in the red rope

asked about his like red in the red rope and why he like referred to like that

and why he like referred to like that

and why he like referred to like that the you know it was like a dictatorship

the you know it was like a dictatorship

the you know it was like a dictatorship to get in like no one could get in and

to get in like no one could get in and

to get in like no one could get in and he is he said it's a dictatorship at the

he is he said it's a dictatorship at the

he is he said it's a dictatorship at the door

door

door so we can have a democracy on the dance

so we can have a democracy on the dance

so we can have a democracy on the dance floor and Dean Isis like experiment to

floor and Dean Isis like experiment to

floor and Dean Isis like experiment to me was that except it didn't need to be

me was that except it didn't need to be

me was that except it didn't need to be a dictatorship at the door and I think

a dictatorship at the door and I think

a dictatorship at the door and I think that is unique to this time it was a

that is unique to this time it was a

that is unique to this time it was a democracy at the door and it was a

democracy at the door and it was a

democracy at the door and it was a democracy on the dance floor and I think

democracy on the dance floor and I think

democracy on the dance floor and I think people are experimenting in all sorts of

people are experimenting in all sorts of

people are experimenting in all sorts of ways of how they can meaningfully gather

ways of how they can meaningfully gather

ways of how they can meaningfully gather there's there's a work context which a

there's there's a work context which a

there's there's a work context which a lot of people I think most of us have

lot of people I think most of us have

lot of people I think most of us have lost unexpected forms of income by

lost unexpected forms of income by

lost unexpected forms of income by actually having to not you know be able

actually having to not you know be able

actually having to not you know be able to provide a service in person that's

to provide a service in person that's

to provide a service in person that's particularly true of in-person gathering

particularly true of in-person gathering

particularly true of in-person gathering based businesses like restaurants or

based businesses like restaurants or

based businesses like restaurants or in-person speed-dating companies you

in-person speed-dating companies you

in-person speed-dating companies you know yoga instructors all types of

know yoga instructors all types of

know yoga instructors all types of people who rely on in-person connections

people who rely on in-person connections

people who rely on in-person connections to to you know for their livelihood and

to to you know for their livelihood and

to to you know for their livelihood and I think one one thing that you're seeing

I think one one thing that you're seeing

I think one one thing that you're seeing is people who kind of always in the back

is people who kind of always in the back

is people who kind of always in the back of their head thought yeah I should

of their head thought yeah I should

of their head thought yeah I should probably have you know Instagram live

probably have you know Instagram live

probably have you know Instagram live sessions I should probably figure out

sessions I should probably figure out

sessions I should probably figure out how to do this online this is kind of a

how to do this online this is kind of a

how to do this online this is kind of a forcing mechanism to do that and you can

forcing mechanism to do that and you can

forcing mechanism to do that and you can see every day experiments with from

see every day experiments with from

see every day experiments with from dance studios like forward forward

dance studios like forward forward

dance studios like forward forward spaces to you know

spaces to you know

spaces to you know virtual choirs rehearsing I think

virtual choirs rehearsing I think

virtual choirs rehearsing I think they're called the sofa singers you know

they're called the sofa singers you know

they're called the sofa singers you know every every week once a week on Sundays

every every week once a week on Sundays

every every week once a week on Sundays there's there Casper Turk you'll is

there's there Casper Turk you'll is

there's there Casper Turk you'll is having something called Sunday

having something called Sunday

having something called Sunday sing-alongs the resistent revival chorus

sing-alongs the resistent revival chorus

sing-alongs the resistent revival chorus is doing is also experimenting with how

is doing is also experimenting with how

is doing is also experimenting with how can they also have you know chorus

can they also have you know chorus

can they also have you know chorus rehearsals choir rehearsals but also

rehearsals choir rehearsals but also

rehearsals choir rehearsals but also have others participate people are

have others participate people are

have others participate people are trying a lot of radical experiments

trying a lot of radical experiments

trying a lot of radical experiments around how do you actually be together

around how do you actually be together

around how do you actually be together apart and how do we use these

apart and how do we use these

apart and how do we use these technologies to do it I had a friend who

technologies to do it I had a friend who

technologies to do it I had a friend who texted me a picture of she threw a

texted me a picture of she threw a

texted me a picture of she threw a surprise birthday party for her mother

surprise birthday party for her mother

surprise birthday party for her mother over unzoom and to me it was also you

over unzoom and to me it was also you

over unzoom and to me it was also you know we're experimenting how to get

know we're experimenting how to get

know we're experimenting how to get online in part this is an

online in part this is an

online in part this is an intergenerational experiment

intergenerational experiment

intergenerational experiment so in that case most of her mother's

so in that case most of her mother's

so in that case most of her mother's friends weren't on zoom' and so part of

friends weren't on zoom' and so part of

friends weren't on zoom' and so part of the act of love was her having to go and

the act of love was her having to go and

the act of love was her having to go and like getting each friend and texting

like getting each friend and texting

like getting each friend and texting them and explain them how to down

them and explain them how to down

them and explain them how to down the app and then getting online and then

the app and then getting online and then

the app and then getting online and then having her mother's partner say hey

having her mother's partner say hey

having her mother's partner say hey honey you know come walk over here in

honey you know come walk over here in

honey you know come walk over here in the laptop I think there's a show I

the laptop I think there's a show I

the laptop I think there's a show I think you might want to watch and she

think you might want to watch and she

think you might want to watch and she walks over and then he you know opens up

walks over and then he you know opens up

walks over and then he you know opens up the screen and every all of her friends

the screen and every all of her friends

the screen and every all of her friends are sitting there on these tiny little

are sitting there on these tiny little

are sitting there on these tiny little squares saying surprise and so I think

squares saying surprise and so I think

squares saying surprise and so I think we're experimenting around how do we

we're experimenting around how do we

we're experimenting around how do we actually be together apart in a moment

actually be together apart in a moment

actually be together apart in a moment where we have some of the technology

where we have some of the technology

where we have some of the technology that other generations couldn't have

that other generations couldn't have

that other generations couldn't have imagined but we haven't necessarily

imagined but we haven't necessarily

imagined but we haven't necessarily thought about using it in this way hmm

thought about using it in this way hmm

thought about using it in this way hmm that's that's great I mean and I think

that's that's great I mean and I think

that's that's great I mean and I think that that makes me wonder too just what

that that makes me wonder too just what

that that makes me wonder too just what does this mean for the future you know

does this mean for the future you know

does this mean for the future you know when we come out of this do you think

when we come out of this do you think

when we come out of this do you think that this there's going to be a real

that this there's going to be a real

that this there's going to be a real shift in the way we think about how we

shift in the way we think about how we

shift in the way we think about how we gather I hope so I think that there will

gather I hope so I think that there will

gather I hope so I think that there will be some gatherings that will go by the

be some gatherings that will go by the

be some gatherings that will go by the wayside I think some some work meetings

wayside I think some some work meetings

wayside I think some some work meetings that are cancelled that nobody misses

that are cancelled that nobody misses

that are cancelled that nobody misses and but we're kind of too weak so we

and but we're kind of too weak so we

and but we're kind of too weak so we were too weak to end before or for

were too weak to end before or for

were too weak to end before or for political reasons we'll go and no one

political reasons we'll go and no one

political reasons we'll go and no one will mention them again and we will be

will mention them again and we will be

will mention them again and we will be better for it I think that there will be

better for it I think that there will be

better for it I think that there will be certain gatherings that will be

certain gatherings that will be

certain gatherings that will be preserved or come back you know kind of

preserved or come back you know kind of

preserved or come back you know kind of in full force because we realized how

in full force because we realized how

in full force because we realized how much we value those gatherings there was

much we value those gatherings there was

much we value those gatherings there was a beautiful piece a couple of days ago

a beautiful piece a couple of days ago

a beautiful piece a couple of days ago it I think it was a video that went

it I think it was a video that went

it I think it was a video that went viral online

viral online

viral online and then I believe the New York Times

and then I believe the New York Times

and then I believe the New York Times wrote about it of the Irish week and

wrote about it of the Irish week and

wrote about it of the Irish week and there's certain you know there are

there's certain you know there are

there's certain you know there are certain communities that already have as

certain communities that already have as

certain communities that already have as I said at the beginning of this call

I said at the beginning of this call

I said at the beginning of this call deeply powerful embedded rituals and

deeply powerful embedded rituals and

deeply powerful embedded rituals and specific sub communities and there are

specific sub communities and there are

specific sub communities and there are certain there are certain communities

certain there are certain communities

certain there are certain communities that actually are very sophisticated

that actually are very sophisticated

that actually are very sophisticated collective gatherers and and the Irish

collective gatherers and and the Irish

collective gatherers and and the Irish wake is you know is one of those

wake is you know is one of those

wake is you know is one of those examples of people actually coming

examples of people actually coming

examples of people actually coming physically together people marking

physically together people marking

physically together people marking marking death and also remembering and

marking death and also remembering and

marking death and also remembering and singing songs together and and and you

singing songs together and and and you

singing songs together and and and you know actually gathering around the wake

know actually gathering around the wake

know actually gathering around the wake and in a moment where because of

and in a moment where because of

and in a moment where because of physical distancing that's no longer you

physical distancing that's no longer you

physical distancing that's no longer you know possible one family created this

know possible one family created this

know possible one family created this this ritual this idea that as they drove

this ritual this idea that as they drove

this ritual this idea that as they drove their their mother's body to the

their their mother's body to the

their their mother's body to the graveyard

graveyard

graveyard neighbors came out and stood six feet

neighbors came out and stood six feet

neighbors came out and stood six feet apart to basically pay their respects

apart to basically pay their respects

apart to basically pay their respects and I think that's a you know it's an

and I think that's a you know it's an

and I think that's a you know it's an exist a beautiful example of a temporary

exist a beautiful example of a temporary

exist a beautiful example of a temporary invention of how do we remember and how

invention of how do we remember and how

invention of how do we remember and how do we think about honoring because the

do we think about honoring because the

do we think about honoring because the the the desire and the need is so deep

the the desire and the need is so deep

the the desire and the need is so deep that even if we can't do it in the way

that even if we can't do it in the way

that even if we can't do it in the way that we usually do it we can actually

that we usually do it we can actually

that we usually do it we can actually invent ways that still allow for that

invent ways that still allow for that

invent ways that still allow for that collective witnessing and marking and

collective witnessing and marking and

collective witnessing and marking and holding to happen and then I think that

holding to happen and then I think that

holding to happen and then I think that after I think a big change after this

after I think a big change after this

after I think a big change after this this period this pandemic is our

this period this pandemic is our

this period this pandemic is our assumption of what we can do virtually

assumption of what we can do virtually

assumption of what we can do virtually and and what what do we actually crave

and and what what do we actually crave

and and what what do we actually crave to be together and want to do together

to be together and want to do together

to be together and want to do together and then what actually is okay to do

and then what actually is okay to do

and then what actually is okay to do apart and I think will become much more

apart and I think will become much more

apart and I think will become much more sophisticated and using tools that have

sophisticated and using tools that have

sophisticated and using tools that have you know that are that are popping up in

you know that are that are popping up in

you know that are that are popping up in all sorts of context digital tools to be

all sorts of context digital tools to be

all sorts of context digital tools to be able to do certain things apart and then

able to do certain things apart and then

able to do certain things apart and then I think we will also be very very

I think we will also be very very

I think we will also be very very grateful to be back together again well

grateful to be back together again well

grateful to be back together again well it's really nice I mean because you

it's really nice I mean because you

it's really nice I mean because you don't sound fearful I I guess that this

don't sound fearful I I guess that this

don't sound fearful I I guess that this moment is going to ruin the way that we

moment is going to ruin the way that we

moment is going to ruin the way that we stay connected it sounds like you you

stay connected it sounds like you you

stay connected it sounds like you you have a really optimistic approach to

have a really optimistic approach to

have a really optimistic approach to this and that in many ways it sounds

this and that in many ways it sounds

this and that in many ways it sounds like it might be a good thing that we're

like it might be a good thing that we're

like it might be a good thing that we're kind of going through this I wouldn't

kind of going through this I wouldn't

kind of going through this I wouldn't say it's a good thing that we're going

say it's a good thing that we're going

say it's a good thing that we're going through this I think that this is a yes

through this I think that this is a yes

through this I think that this is a yes in a global crisis I think that I and I

in a global crisis I think that I and I

in a global crisis I think that I and I think that like any pandemic this will

think that like any pandemic this will

think that like any pandemic this will this affects different communities

this affects different communities

this affects different communities differently I think that this is very

differently I think that this is very

differently I think that this is very dangerous for for communities that are

dangerous for for communities that are

dangerous for for communities that are already isolated I think that this will

already isolated I think that this will

already isolated I think that this will exacerbate social and economic

exacerbate social and economic

exacerbate social and economic inequality as it already is and I think

inequality as it already is and I think

inequality as it already is and I think you know I there's been a discussion you

you know I there's been a discussion you

you know I there's been a discussion you know we are we are in a gathering

know we are we are in a gathering

know we are we are in a gathering recession and I think the question is

recession and I think the question is

recession and I think the question is whether or not we can stave off the

whether or not we can stave off the

whether or not we can stave off the loneliness boom if we can do things that

loneliness boom if we can do things that

loneliness boom if we can do things that allow us that even during this time a

allow us that even during this time a

allow us that even during this time a very dire straits if we can find

very dire straits if we can find

very dire straits if we can find inventive ways to still to still get

inventive ways to still to still get

inventive ways to still to still get through this together and I think in any

through this together and I think in any

through this together and I think in any I think

I think

I think a massive interruption and anytime

a massive interruption and anytime

a massive interruption and anytime there's a massive interruption it allows

there's a massive interruption it allows

there's a massive interruption it allows all of us to pause and to ask the

all of us to pause and to ask the

all of us to pause and to ask the questions well why do we do this in the

questions well why do we do this in the

questions well why do we do this in the first place and I think that's powerful

first place and I think that's powerful

first place and I think that's powerful thank you and thank you for clarifying

thank you and thank you for clarifying

thank you and thank you for clarifying of course I agree that I don't think

of course I agree that I don't think

of course I agree that I don't think this is a good thing but I instead meant

this is a good thing but I instead meant

this is a good thing but I instead meant an opportunity it seems like it presents

an opportunity it seems like it presents

an opportunity it seems like it presents an opportunity for us to to reflect and

an opportunity for us to to reflect and

an opportunity for us to to reflect and that seems to be a positive element of

that seems to be a positive element of

that seems to be a positive element of this so thank you for that and you know

this so thank you for that and you know

this so thank you for that and you know I think I'd like I'll just also oh go

I think I'd like I'll just also oh go

I think I'd like I'll just also oh go ahead Priya sorry I'll just say one more

ahead Priya sorry I'll just say one more

ahead Priya sorry I'll just say one more thing I think um the way we gather is

thing I think um the way we gather is

thing I think um the way we gather is contagious

contagious

contagious meaning we define how and what we gather

meaning we define how and what we gather

meaning we define how and what we gather around if somebody all of a sudden

around if somebody all of a sudden

around if somebody all of a sudden decides to have a birthday party in a

decides to have a birthday party in a

decides to have a birthday party in a very different way not only is it kind

very different way not only is it kind

very different way not only is it kind of fun and interesting for the people in

of fun and interesting for the people in

of fun and interesting for the people in that birthday party but every guest

that birthday party but every guest

that birthday party but every guest leaves thinking huh maybe I could do my

leaves thinking huh maybe I could do my

leaves thinking huh maybe I could do my birthday party a different way or huh

birthday party a different way or huh

birthday party a different way or huh maybe a few no doesn't have to look that

maybe a few no doesn't have to look that

maybe a few no doesn't have to look that way or huh maybe a meeting doesn't have

way or huh maybe a meeting doesn't have

way or huh maybe a meeting doesn't have to look that way and you know one of the

to look that way and you know one of the

to look that way and you know one of the things that's contagious during this

things that's contagious during this

things that's contagious during this time also is its courage and one of the

time also is its courage and one of the

time also is its courage and one of the reasons I love collecting all of these

reasons I love collecting all of these

reasons I love collecting all of these different stories and inventions of how

different stories and inventions of how

different stories and inventions of how people are coming together and being

people are coming together and being

people are coming together and being extraordinarily creative about it is is

extraordinarily creative about it is is

extraordinarily creative about it is is in part to give each other ideas and

in part to give each other ideas and

in part to give each other ideas and inspiration and one of the things I

inspiration and one of the things I

inspiration and one of the things I would I would ask if you know those who

would I would ask if you know those who

would I would ask if you know those who are watching to send me the examples

are watching to send me the examples

are watching to send me the examples that you're seeing and particularly the

that you're seeing and particularly the

that you're seeing and particularly the examples that you're creating yourself

examples that you're creating yourself

examples that you're creating yourself because it actually gives us us hope and

because it actually gives us us hope and

because it actually gives us us hope and ideas of how we can all do this

ideas of how we can all do this

ideas of how we can all do this differently I actually send out a weekly

differently I actually send out a weekly

differently I actually send out a weekly newsletter of examples from around the

newsletter of examples from around the

newsletter of examples from around the world of how we're actually gathering

world of how we're actually gathering

world of how we're actually gathering together apart and and you know I don't

together apart and and you know I don't

together apart and and you know I don't know if the you know if you can its

know if the you know if you can its

know if the you know if you can its Priya Parker calm if you want to send me

Priya Parker calm if you want to send me

Priya Parker calm if you want to send me emails or examples of gathering ideas

emails or examples of gathering ideas

emails or examples of gathering ideas that you've been seeing that I've been

that you've been seeing that I've been

that you've been seeing that I've been that have been moving because we all

that have been moving because we all

that have been moving because we all decide how we want to gather and we

decide how we want to gather and we

decide how we want to gather and we inspire each other by trying to do it

inspire each other by trying to do it

inspire each other by trying to do it differently that's great skree and that

differently that's great skree and that

differently that's great skree and that sounds like you know thinking about

sounds like you know thinking about

sounds like you know thinking about resources folks might look for if they

resources folks might look for if they

resources folks might look for if they just you know decide they want to try

just you know decide they want to try

just you know decide they want to try and implement some of these examples you

and implement some of these examples you

and implement some of these examples you shared or some of the things you've

shared or some of the things you've

shared or some of the things you've suggested

suggested

suggested that seems like that's a great way for

that seems like that's a great way for

that seems like that's a great way for them to to do some of that so thank you

them to to do some of that so thank you

them to to do some of that so thank you you know I'd love to we had some

you know I'd love to we had some

you know I'd love to we had some audience members who sent in questions

audience members who sent in questions

audience members who sent in questions in advance to aspirin so I'd love to

in advance to aspirin so I'd love to

in advance to aspirin so I'd love to dive into a few of those which I think

dive into a few of those which I think

dive into a few of those which I think might be really interesting so one

might be really interesting so one

might be really interesting so one question from our audience was what tips

question from our audience was what tips

question from our audience was what tips would you offer to meaningfully engage

would you offer to meaningfully engage

would you offer to meaningfully engage with family or friends who can't access

with family or friends who can't access

with family or friends who can't access vigils that virtual spaces excuse me

vigils that virtual spaces excuse me

vigils that virtual spaces excuse me like grandparents those who might have

like grandparents those who might have

like grandparents those who might have disabilities or impairments or those who

disabilities or impairments or those who

disabilities or impairments or those who just may not have connectivity strong

just may not have connectivity strong

just may not have connectivity strong connectivity issues in terms of internet

connectivity issues in terms of internet

connectivity issues in terms of internet and phone

and phone

and phone how could you stay connected with those

how could you stay connected with those

how could you stay connected with those those folks it's a beautiful question a

those folks it's a beautiful question a

those folks it's a beautiful question a couple of things one is if they have a

couple of things one is if they have a

couple of things one is if they have a phone line and that's a big if but if

phone line and that's a big if but if

phone line and that's a big if but if they have a phone line a landline ways

they have a phone line a landline ways

they have a phone line a landline ways to one regularly call and create some

to one regularly call and create some

to one regularly call and create some kind of moment that they look forward to

kind of moment that they look forward to

kind of moment that they look forward to there are other types of rituals from

there are other types of rituals from

there are other types of rituals from other communities I've been told that

other communities I've been told that

other communities I've been told that German theater groups have a practice

German theater groups have a practice

German theater groups have a practice where they come together and read a book

where they come together and read a book

where they come together and read a book aloud like one book aloud until they're

aloud like one book aloud until they're

aloud like one book aloud until they're done with it

done with it

done with it so like over the course of 15 hours

so like over the course of 15 hours

so like over the course of 15 hours communities come together and one person

communities come together and one person

communities come together and one person reads a chapter and you pass it around

reads a chapter and you pass it around

reads a chapter and you pass it around and you eat and you you know drink and

and you eat and you you know drink and

and you eat and you you know drink and you can and you basically read an entire

you can and you basically read an entire

you can and you basically read an entire book together and you know somebody you

book together and you know somebody you

book together and you know somebody you can absolutely do that by like dialing

can absolutely do that by like dialing

can absolutely do that by like dialing and the person who's who's who can't

and the person who's who's who can't

and the person who's who's who can't necessarily zoom in but to read together

necessarily zoom in but to read together

necessarily zoom in but to read together on the phone if you if four communities

on the phone if you if four communities

on the phone if you if four communities are for people who are completely

are for people who are completely

are for people who are completely isolated digitally or through technology

isolated digitally or through technology

isolated digitally or through technology to find ways at least for the time being

to find ways at least for the time being

to find ways at least for the time being to you know to send them to send them

to you know to send them to send them

to you know to send them to send them letters like one of the things we're

letters like one of the things we're

letters like one of the things we're starting to see is to go back to things

starting to see is to go back to things

starting to see is to go back to things like why we why we knit why we make

like why we why we knit why we make

like why we why we knit why we make bread why we learn to create the things

bread why we learn to create the things

bread why we learn to create the things that we do without the help from you

that we do without the help from you

that we do without the help from you know the outside world and to find ways

know the outside world and to find ways

know the outside world and to find ways to to perhaps pass objects or passed

to to perhaps pass objects or passed

to to perhaps pass objects or passed letters but for those who you know if

letters but for those who you know if

letters but for those who you know if there's no way in and no way out I think

there's no way in and no way out I think

there's no way in and no way out I think that's one of the communities that I was

that's one of the communities that I was

that's one of the communities that I was talking about that's actually

talking about that's actually

talking about that's actually you know that's a very high risk so

you know that's a very high risk so

you know that's a very high risk so another really great question we had was

another really great question we had was

another really great question we had was how can you get a sense for the feel the

how can you get a sense for the feel the

how can you get a sense for the feel the energy in the room when we're not

energy in the room when we're not

energy in the room when we're not physically in the same space what are

physically in the same space what are

physically in the same space what are some ways that we can recreate that

some ways that we can recreate that

some ways that we can recreate that those connections and that bond when

those connections and that bond when

those connections and that bond when we're connecting from apart this is one

we're connecting from apart this is one

we're connecting from apart this is one of the harder parts about being apart

of the harder parts about being apart

of the harder parts about being apart because we have to at some level created

because we have to at some level created

because we have to at some level created in our mind psychologically together and

in our mind psychologically together and

in our mind psychologically together and then also create that physical feeling

then also create that physical feeling

then also create that physical feeling you know with one's own body without

you know with one's own body without

you know with one's own body without actually sharing space with others

actually sharing space with others

actually sharing space with others around the room so a couple of tips the

around the room so a couple of tips the

around the room so a couple of tips the first is give your gathering a name and

first is give your gathering a name and

first is give your gathering a name and you know don't just call it meeting or

you know don't just call it meeting or

you know don't just call it meeting or don't just call it birthday party you

don't just call it birthday party you

don't just call it birthday party you know call or dinner party call it the

know call or dinner party call it the

know call or dinner party call it the worn out mom's hootenanny or call it the

worn out mom's hootenanny or call it the

worn out mom's hootenanny or call it the seventh song salon or call it the you

seventh song salon or call it the you

seventh song salon or call it the you know dance until you drop disco I mean

know dance until you drop disco I mean

know dance until you drop disco I mean again I'm making this up but but part of

again I'm making this up but but part of

again I'm making this up but but part of what names do is that they're acts of

what names do is that they're acts of

what names do is that they're acts of social priming to get people actually

social priming to get people actually

social priming to get people actually into a specific psychological and

into a specific psychological and

into a specific psychological and physical space and so give your

physical space and so give your

physical space and so give your gathering a name the gathering starts

gathering a name the gathering starts

gathering a name the gathering starts from the moment of discovery meaning

from the moment of discovery meaning

from the moment of discovery meaning from the moment that the guest actually

from the moment that the guest actually

from the moment that the guest actually understands oh this is something I

understands oh this is something I

understands oh this is something I attend look forward to the second is

attend look forward to the second is

attend look forward to the second is half people bring some kind of physical

half people bring some kind of physical

half people bring some kind of physical object or show some kind of physical

object or show some kind of physical

object or show some kind of physical object on their side of the screen

object on their side of the screen

object on their side of the screen whether it's starting with you know

whether it's starting with you know

whether it's starting with you know asking everybody to bring a vessel with

asking everybody to bring a vessel with

asking everybody to bring a vessel with a favorite drink inside depending on

a favorite drink inside depending on

a favorite drink inside depending on your time zone and then share a story

your time zone and then share a story

your time zone and then share a story about where they got that coffee mug

about where they got that coffee mug

about where they got that coffee mug from third is and this sounds kind of

from third is and this sounds kind of

from third is and this sounds kind of simple but remind people that they have

simple but remind people that they have

simple but remind people that they have a body meaning like they themselves have

a body meaning like they themselves have

a body meaning like they themselves have a body and that could mean that could

a body and that could mean that could

a body and that could mean that could happen in a number of different ways but

happen in a number of different ways but

happen in a number of different ways but whether it means having them actually be

whether it means having them actually be

whether it means having them actually be showing they're like more of than just

showing they're like more of than just

showing they're like more of than just their head but actually for like the

their head but actually for like the

their head but actually for like the intent you know the entire torso though

intent you know the entire torso though

intent you know the entire torso though that also Again's go if you remember the

that also Again's go if you remember the

that also Again's go if you remember the early part around intimacy you decide

early part around intimacy you decide

early part around intimacy you decide what you're what you're optimizing for

what you're what you're optimizing for

what you're what you're optimizing for and invite people to also bring a

and invite people to also bring a

and invite people to also bring a physical object and put it within the

physical object and put it within the

physical object and put it within the within the frame of the video a couple

within the frame of the video a couple

within the frame of the video a couple we also we may not be able to be

we also we may not be able to be

we also we may not be able to be physically together but audio is a

physically together but audio is a

physically together but audio is a really powerful connector and so whether

really powerful connector and so whether

really powerful connector and so whether it's playing a song or inviting somebody

it's playing a song or inviting somebody

it's playing a song or inviting somebody to choose a favorite song that they want

to choose a favorite song that they want

to choose a favorite song that they want to share at the group or some kind of

to share at the group or some kind of

to share at the group or some kind of again audio response to begin a to begin

again audio response to begin a to begin

again audio response to begin a to begin a a moment with can also kind of just

a a moment with can also kind of just

a a moment with can also kind of just help you unify people but the the feel

help you unify people but the the feel

help you unify people but the the feel of the physical connection being in the

of the physical connection being in the

of the physical connection being in the group being in a room is one of those

group being in a room is one of those

group being in a room is one of those things that I think we will be deeply

things that I think we will be deeply

things that I think we will be deeply craving after this period and you know

craving after this period and you know

craving after this period and you know you talked a lot about the workplace you

you talked a lot about the workplace you

you talked a lot about the workplace you talked a lot about home and another

talked a lot about home and another

talked a lot about home and another really great question that we have from

really great question that we have from

really great question that we have from our audience is about the number of

our audience is about the number of

our audience is about the number of children and students who are now you

children and students who are now you

children and students who are now you know learning remotely and and what are

know learning remotely and and what are

know learning remotely and and what are some tips I think for educators and even

some tips I think for educators and even

some tips I think for educators and even for parents to try and create these

for parents to try and create these

for parents to try and create these meaningful gatherings for for children

meaningful gatherings for for children

meaningful gatherings for for children yep

yep

yep so first is particularly an educator to

so first is particularly an educator to

so first is particularly an educator to really ask what is the deepest need now

really ask what is the deepest need now

really ask what is the deepest need now what is it that I'm trying to teach my

what is it that I'm trying to teach my

what is it that I'm trying to teach my students and at the deeper level like

students and at the deeper level like

students and at the deeper level like what is the purpose of this class and I

what is the purpose of this class and I

what is the purpose of this class and I use the example of my my mother-in-law

use the example of my my mother-in-law

use the example of my my mother-in-law who's an educator and she's a ceramics

who's an educator and she's a ceramics

who's an educator and she's a ceramics teacher she she so she teaches in a form

teacher she she so she teaches in a form

teacher she she so she teaches in a form that is deeply physical right and you

that is deeply physical right and you

that is deeply physical right and you actually need certain materials a kiln

actually need certain materials a kiln

actually need certain materials a kiln you know clay and she now has to figure

you know clay and she now has to figure

you know clay and she now has to figure out how to teach ceramics for the next

out how to teach ceramics for the next

out how to teach ceramics for the next many weeks you know virtually and so she

many weeks you know virtually and so she

many weeks you know virtually and so she paused and she said what is the purpose

paused and she said what is the purpose

paused and she said what is the purpose of my class is it to teach students

of my class is it to teach students

of my class is it to teach students ceramics and she realized no ceramics is

ceramics and she realized no ceramics is

ceramics and she realized no ceramics is her medium but the deeper purpose is

her medium but the deeper purpose is

her medium but the deeper purpose is twofold

twofold

twofold one is to is to help her students her

one is to is to help her students her

one is to is to help her students her art students have a relationship with

art students have a relationship with

art students have a relationship with three multi-dimensional art so not just

three multi-dimensional art so not just

three multi-dimensional art so not just flat art not just photography or

flat art not just photography or

flat art not just photography or painting but multi-dimensional and then

painting but multi-dimensional and then

painting but multi-dimensional and then the second is she told me the other day

the second is she told me the other day

the second is she told me the other day it's to give her

it's to give her

it's to give her students a sense that they can create

students a sense that they can create

students a sense that they can create something from nothing and so she

something from nothing and so she

something from nothing and so she thought about it and in her case what

thought about it and in her case what

thought about it and in her case what she decided to do over the course of the

she decided to do over the course of the

she decided to do over the course of the next multiple weeks is change her

next multiple weeks is change her

next multiple weeks is change her curriculum to teach these two lessons

curriculum to teach these two lessons

curriculum to teach these two lessons through paper mache and found objects in

through paper mache and found objects in

through paper mache and found objects in the home and I love this example in part

the home and I love this example in part

the home and I love this example in part because for each of us whatever we're

because for each of us whatever we're

because for each of us whatever we're trying to do as educators or parents is

trying to do as educators or parents is

trying to do as educators or parents is to pause and to ask like what is the

to pause and to ask like what is the

to pause and to ask like what is the need of these students or was the need

need of these students or was the need

need of these students or was the need of these children now and to look at the

of these children now and to look at the

of these children now and to look at the people in front of you but to also ask

people in front of you but to also ask

people in front of you but to also ask your own deeper mission or purpose is

your own deeper mission or purpose is

your own deeper mission or purpose is like why do I do this and given the

like why do I do this and given the

like why do I do this and given the constraints now how do i how should i

constraints now how do i how should i

constraints now how do i how should i structure this gathering now given these

structure this gathering now given these

structure this gathering now given these new constraints so that i can still

new constraints so that i can still

new constraints so that i can still achieve my purpose but the activity may

achieve my purpose but the activity may

achieve my purpose but the activity may actually look very different it's great

actually look very different it's great

actually look very different it's great and you know I mean I think also and

and you know I mean I think also and

and you know I mean I think also and you've talked you've touched on some of

you've talked you've touched on some of

you've talked you've touched on some of this too like great smaller ways that

this too like great smaller ways that

this too like great smaller ways that you can sort of break the ice with folks

you can sort of break the ice with folks

you can sort of break the ice with folks and and really find a path into these

and and really find a path into these

and and really find a path into these great connections virtually and apart

great connections virtually and apart

great connections virtually and apart and and so somebody asked you know that

and and so somebody asked you know that

and and so somebody asked you know that they said they're organizing a digital

they said they're organizing a digital

they said they're organizing a digital birthday party and they were just

birthday party and they were just

birthday party and they were just curious for ways to bring people look

curious for ways to bring people look

curious for ways to bring people look together who maybe don't know one

together who maybe don't know one

together who maybe don't know one another so how can you connect with with

another so how can you connect with with

another so how can you connect with with people who you had no connection with

people who you had no connection with

people who you had no connection with before before entering these digital

before before entering these digital

before before entering these digital these digital events and gatherings I

these digital events and gatherings I

these digital events and gatherings I actually think this is an opportunity

actually think this is an opportunity

actually think this is an opportunity where virtual gatherings connect can

where virtual gatherings connect can

where virtual gatherings connect can help depending on how you structure it

help depending on how you structure it

help depending on how you structure it so at many birthday parties people come

so at many birthday parties people come

so at many birthday parties people come together and don't know each other and

together and don't know each other and

together and don't know each other and leave not knowing each other I mean

leave not knowing each other I mean

leave not knowing each other I mean memories and hello or met one person out

memories and hello or met one person out

memories and hello or met one person out of like 40 people they don't know but I

of like 40 people they don't know but I

of like 40 people they don't know but I actually think in a context where you

actually think in a context where you

actually think in a context where you kind of have to like play turbo host

kind of have to like play turbo host

kind of have to like play turbo host this is an opportunity and an excuse to

this is an opportunity and an excuse to

this is an opportunity and an excuse to have people actually meaningfully

have people actually meaningfully

have people actually meaningfully participate and get to know each other

participate and get to know each other

participate and get to know each other in a way that they may not otherwise so

in a way that they may not otherwise so

in a way that they may not otherwise so a couple of examples if it's a birthday

a couple of examples if it's a birthday

a couple of examples if it's a birthday party

party

party virtual birthday party to invite each

virtual birthday party to invite each

virtual birthday party to invite each guest to bring with them like a sweet a

guest to bring with them like a sweet a

guest to bring with them like a sweet a drink a hat of their choice and a story

drink a hat of their choice and a story

drink a hat of their choice and a story of of a value or a quality or a tray

of of a value or a quality or a tray

of of a value or a quality or a tray that the birthday girl a birthday boy

that the birthday girl a birthday boy

that the birthday girl a birthday boy hold and how they know that and invite

hold and how they know that and invite

hold and how they know that and invite each person to share story you know and

each person to share story you know and

each person to share story you know and again you're gonna have to have like a

again you're gonna have to have like a

again you're gonna have to have like a chief like birthday facilitator and it

chief like birthday facilitator and it

chief like birthday facilitator and it shouldn't be the birthday girl or boy to

shouldn't be the birthday girl or boy to

shouldn't be the birthday girl or boy to actually you know when you ask people's

actually you know when you ask people's

actually you know when you ask people's stories that relate to the person

stories that relate to the person

stories that relate to the person they're interesting not just because

they're interesting not just because

they're interesting not just because you're saying oh this person's so great

you're saying oh this person's so great

you're saying oh this person's so great or but it's actually giving a lot of

or but it's actually giving a lot of

or but it's actually giving a lot of people context about the person but also

people context about the person but also

people context about the person but also about your relationship to them and so

about your relationship to them and so

about your relationship to them and so find ways to have people come together

find ways to have people come together

find ways to have people come together and each have a moment to share

and each have a moment to share

and each have a moment to share something related to the person but

something related to the person but

something related to the person but again through a story not necessarily

again through a story not necessarily

again through a story not necessarily advice or an opinion because stories

advice or an opinion because stories

advice or an opinion because stories have legs stories are easy to listen to

have legs stories are easy to listen to

have legs stories are easy to listen to stories also have a lot of data in them

stories also have a lot of data in them

stories also have a lot of data in them that very few other vessels do that's

that very few other vessels do that's

that very few other vessels do that's really great this has been so wonderful

really great this has been so wonderful

really great this has been so wonderful pre I feel like I I know that I'm really

pre I feel like I I know that I'm really

pre I feel like I I know that I'm really excited to try some of these these tools

excited to try some of these these tools

excited to try some of these these tools and tips that you've offered and these

and tips that you've offered and these

and tips that you've offered and these suggestions I think will really help

suggestions I think will really help

suggestions I think will really help assisting a lot of people through these

assisting a lot of people through these

assisting a lot of people through these next few weeks and months and beyond as

next few weeks and months and beyond as

next few weeks and months and beyond as we come out of this so I you know I

we come out of this so I you know I

we come out of this so I you know I think before we end I just love to give

think before we end I just love to give

think before we end I just love to give you an opportunity to to share any sort

you an opportunity to to share any sort

you an opportunity to to share any sort of parting thoughts you have about your

of parting thoughts you have about your

of parting thoughts you have about your really big takeaways from what we should

really big takeaways from what we should

really big takeaways from what we should take from this moment as we think about

take from this moment as we think about

take from this moment as we think about connecting in meaningful ways I think

connecting in meaningful ways I think

connecting in meaningful ways I think that we are all in the neck in the

that we are all in the neck in the

that we are all in the neck in the coming weeks and months going to be

coming weeks and months going to be

coming weeks and months going to be hosts of many new types of gatherings

hosts of many new types of gatherings

hosts of many new types of gatherings and guests of many two new types of

and guests of many two new types of

and guests of many two new types of gatherings and as we do have an

gatherings and as we do have an

gatherings and as we do have an opportunity in each of these moments to

opportunity in each of these moments to

opportunity in each of these moments to not go on autopilot which is often one

not go on autopilot which is often one

not go on autopilot which is often one of the dangers of our in-person

of the dangers of our in-person

of the dangers of our in-person gatherings and to ask for every

gatherings and to ask for every

gatherings and to ask for every gathering like why are we doing this do

gathering like why are we doing this do

gathering like why are we doing this do we still need to do this now what is

we still need to do this now what is

we still need to do this now what is essential to preserve and how do we give

essential to preserve and how do we give

essential to preserve and how do we give life to it in this new medium I think to

life to it in this new medium I think to

life to it in this new medium I think to think about power dynamics and to ask

think about power dynamics and to ask

think about power dynamics and to ask what are you actually asking of people

what are you actually asking of people

what are you actually asking of people in this moment and is it you know is it

in this moment and is it you know is it

in this moment and is it you know is it too much this this this pandemic will

too much this this this pandemic will

too much this this this pandemic will weigh on us in different ways unequally

weigh on us in different ways unequally

weigh on us in different ways unequally and so as you're beginning to think

and so as you're beginning to think

and so as you're beginning to think about how and what do we mark

about how and what do we mark

about how and what do we mark how do you ask and what do you expect

how do you ask and what do you expect

how do you ask and what do you expect from different people given given a very

from different people given given a very

from different people given given a very difficult and dire time and and again

difficult and dire time and and again

difficult and dire time and and again I'll say what I said earlier which is we

I'll say what I said earlier which is we

I'll say what I said earlier which is we really inspire each other through

really inspire each other through

really inspire each other through through specific examples of invention

through specific examples of invention

through specific examples of invention and so too as you as you as you try out

and so too as you as you as you try out

and so too as you as you as you try out new things and and also in the work

new things and and also in the work

new things and and also in the work context as you think about what is it

context as you think about what is it

context as you think about what is it that actually makes meetings work and

that actually makes meetings work and

that actually makes meetings work and meaningful experimenting with shortening

meaningful experimenting with shortening

meaningful experimenting with shortening the time of meetings experimenting with

the time of meetings experimenting with

the time of meetings experimenting with spending more time on checking in and

spending more time on checking in and

spending more time on checking in and perhaps only having meetings for

perhaps only having meetings for

perhaps only having meetings for decision-making and not doing meetings

decision-making and not doing meetings

decision-making and not doing meetings for anything else like to actually start

for anything else like to actually start

for anything else like to actually start really sharing lessons with one another

really sharing lessons with one another

really sharing lessons with one another and to please share your examples with

and to please share your examples with

and to please share your examples with me because I learn every time I hear of

me because I learn every time I hear of

me because I learn every time I hear of ways that wherever people are in the

ways that wherever people are in the

ways that wherever people are in the world they're inventing new ways of

world they're inventing new ways of

world they're inventing new ways of coming together in ways that communities

coming together in ways that communities

coming together in ways that communities need thank you so much Priya this has

need thank you so much Priya this has

need thank you so much Priya this has been wonderful and I really appreciate

been wonderful and I really appreciate

been wonderful and I really appreciate you taking the time to chat and sending

you taking the time to chat and sending

you taking the time to chat and sending best wishes to you and all of your loved

best wishes to you and all of your loved

best wishes to you and all of your loved ones to stay safe and healthy during

ones to stay safe and healthy during

ones to stay safe and healthy during this time thank you thank you so much

this time thank you thank you so much

this time thank you thank you so much for having me and be well